Britney Spears returned to Los Angeles yesterday after having embarked on a vision quest to Costa Rica with crackpot holy man Mel Gibson. Immediately upon exiting the plane, the relaxed, invigorated Spears was greeted by bloodthirsty paparazzi screaming her name and calling her "baby," thereby erasing a week's worth of personal healing.

A boring but sad video after the jump.

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Chris Crocker took to the streets of LA yesterday to wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day. Unfortunately for the rest of us, we may never know what could have been had Chris actually had a mother.

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What lovely creature has a heartfelt message for Perez Hilton?

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You know it's going to be a great day when you wake up and are greeted by a whole new slew of Chris Crocker pictures.

Enjoy.

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Last night, after googling "malaria" and discovering that children in Africa can die from special kinds of mosquito bites, professional victim Britney Spears donated $25,000 to the hyperpublicized Idol Gives Back telethon. That's about 5,000 venti frappuccinos in Spears currency, a major sacrifice for the caffeinated princess. We're proud of her.

Chris Crocker has developed quite an ego these days. The lone Britney fan reportedly posted a MySpace bulletin lashing out at Oh No They Didn't's lack of Crocker coverage, calling it discrimination: "I guess being legitimate doesn't count for much on gossip blogs," he says, pointing out that being legitimate means he appeared in cartoon form on the latest episode of South Park.

Chris Crocker is kind of growing on us. Like a fungus. But that doesn't mean we need to see close-up crotch shots. Seriously, we just ate.

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We remember the first time we laid eyes on Chris Crocker: He was screaming about Britney in a YouTube video, and we were frightened. And we mean really frightened, like we would have nightmares about him standing over our bed, watching us sleep. The guy just scares us. But in the course of a few months, we have grown numb to his ghastly appearance, and we were even able to look at these pictures for a solid 10 seconds. Baby steps.

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How far is too far? These men give clear, illustrated directions to Britney Spears' front door. Have they gone too far? Is this something the average, Google-minded person couldn't do themselves? Is the Internet dangerous? Is what these men have done dangerous? Is it dangerous for me to post it? How many comments until someone says, "Well, by you posting it, you're a hypocrite if you think it's dangerous," as if I've not already considered that numerous times? Am I dangerous?

How far is too far?

IN SICKNESS AND IN HELL The cadre of hyenas and pimps at TMZ is reporting that Britney Spears has started to undergo treatment for her litany of mental illnesses, the most dangerous being bipolar disorder. It's a major step for the starlet and it was not easily made: "Britney has seen doctors who have been referred by other doctors, plus doctors who have been referred by celebrities Britney knows, and doctors referred by her lawyers, family and friends. We're told the process has been excruciating for her, partly because her disease is severe." Of course, TMZ isn't about to let that "excruciating" pain get in the way of its cameras, which are currently broadcasting live from Spears' front door. Let the healing begin!