STARS EXERT ACTUAL EFFORT! "Jennifer Lopez completed the Nautica Malibu Triathlon in 2 hours, 23 minutes and 38.8 seconds on Sunday. The singer, 39, pumped her arms in the air and smiled broadly as she crossed the finish line of the swimming-running-biking event. 'Thank you guys so much,' she told the crowd. 'This is an amazing day. … I feel really great that we raised $127,000 for the Children's Hospital [of Los Angeles] and hopefully it'll go to good use,' Lopez added. … After finishing, Lopez joined her family and Matthew McConaughey, who came in before her, in the VIP area. McConaughey was accompanied by his girlfriend Camila Alves and their newborn son Levi. McConaughey's race time was 1 hour, 30 minutes and 44.7 seconds."

So, Matthew McConaughey's going to bury son Levi's placenta, huh? Great idea.

My parents buried mine under a mesquite tree in Tucson, Arizona, and I'll probably bury my child's. Not only does it make for a great story – especially the part about my grandmother almost pan frying the thing for breakfast – it's also kind of a cool, thoughtful ritual that hurts a new baby much less than, say, a briss.

And this from someone who otherwise hates everything hippies have to offer.