Thanks to Jamie Spears finally controlling his daughter, the tabloids are fairly boring this week. And speaking of Brit, nobody can decide whether she's happy and getting her life back or she's living the life of a prisoner. We don't really care, as long as she isn't around any children — oh, she's teaching dance classes to kids? Fabulous.
Little sister Jamie Lynn is trying to keep up with Brit, this time whoring herself around and involving Lil' Romeo in a baby-daddy whodunnit. Pretty good, JL, but are you making your babies cry?
Also this week: Jessica plans to make her Dallas Cowboys curse permanent with marriage plans, Suri has a traumatic no-fast food upbringing and some idiots are paying $1,000 to inject botox in their armpits. Sign us up! CONTINUED »
The tabloids are finally getting over Heath Ledger's death, and it's about time, because at this point they're just grasping at straws. Most of the magazines have reverted back to their old habits: covering Brangelina. We want to stab our eyes out every time we are forced to read a "Jen's jealous!" cover story.
Perhaps Britney's stint at the psych ward did some good, because she managed to only land two covers this week. Of course, she brought enough crazy for all five magazines with her declarations of marriage and the fact that she really doesn't want her kids back. Good for her kids.
And famewhores Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are at it again, giving two completely different stories to both Us Weekly and Life & Style. Could it be they're not being honest with someone? Could it be they've never been honest in their lives? We don't care that much anymore, but obviously the tabs do. CONTINUED »
Britney's locked away in the psych ward this week, but that doesn't mean she's disappeared. She ends up in every single magazine with the exact same story: Brit's crazy. We didn't need to pay $3.99 to figure that out.
Mary-Kate Olsen is experiencing the Heath Ledger backlash, with Star going so far as to devote a four-page spread on how she and her twin sister are awful midgets. Or something like that.
And Life & Style continues on its solo mission to kidnap Baby Shiloh. This week, the mag reported that Shiloh has a stalker. It forgot to mention that said stalker is in fact Life & Style. CONTINUED »
Because the tabs missed Heath Ledger's death last week, this week we are treated to multiple angles of the actor's life: He was an awful person! He was a great person! He was addicted to drugs and didn't care! He tried to get help! TMZ wore us out with this last week. Let's move on.
The biggest news, of course, is Angelina's pregnancy. You know what this means: Expect a bombardment of Brangelina covers for the next nine months.
In other news, Lynne Spears tries to act like a mother, Heidi claims to be religious and Miley Cyrus is the next Britney. God help us all. CONTINUED »
Congrats to Lynne Spears! This week, her daughters had a monopoly on all the covers — Jamie Lynn still has some work to do, however, because she only appeared on one compared to Britney's four. It seems the crazy trumps teen pregnancy every time.
Besides the onslaught of Britney drama, there's lots of Hills gossip and Hollywood stars who still refuse to come out of the closet. What more could you ask for? Exclusives with Tara Reid and Amy Winehouse? OK! has you covered!
So let's travel to a world where suicide threats and kidnapping are the norm, and Britney seems to have hit rock bottom. But for some reason, Intern Whitney still isn't so sure. CONTINUED »
Ben Widdicombe initially asked the question, "Which struggling new glossy is so out of money that staffers are having to pay for photos on personal credit cards?" Intriguing but daunting—so many pieces of shit from which to choose. But have no fear, brother blog Jossip narrows it down for you. Could it be Life & Style? Hello? And don't forget about the dark horse: OK!.
Go here to vote, and then do us a favor and start buying those magazines—New York gets ugly when media people have to go too long without Blackberrys and extravagant vacations.
It seems like only yesterday that Britney Spears' record was being touted as having "four definite hits." Oh, wait, that was yesterday. Interesting, because now Life & Style is reporting that the album's release, originally scheduled for this fall, is being pushed back to sometime next year.
A music industry insider says the album is delayed because Britney’s struggling creatively. "I'm surprised the album wasn't pushed back to ’09 — everything's up in the air with the album right now," the insider says. "Jive [Jive, Brit's label] hated the songs Britney was coming up with, except for a few. The executives are not happy. And she didn't want to listen to anyone. Everything was a problem for her. They wanted her to work with certain people, and she wanted the opposite."
Oops! You're never gonna do it again. Go be sad somewhere away from me.
Yeeahh, Nick, about that divorce, I'm thinking maybe not such a good idea?
According to this week's Life & Style magazine, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson's divorce could be final by the end of next week. Although L&S is the gossip rag usually the most crammed with raging lies, it can't be too long before the two are done for good. Baby Jessica, whose wandering vagina may have been the reason for the original split, is having a harder time with dating than Nick these days.
Jessica was linked to a number of men early in the split including Adam Levine, Dane Cook and Jude Law but none of those were ever confirmed and at best they were short lived.
"Jessica's learning that most men aren't as commitment as Nick was," an insider tells Star Magazine.
"She's seen that there aren't many eligible men who are serious boyfriend material. Most men she meets look at her as an easy score or a ditzy blonde," the source continues.
So, you're saying she's easy. Don't feel too bad for Jessica, though, she'll find herself a good man soon enough, and until then she's always got Poppa J to keep her warm.
Editor
