Sometimes we are reminded that celebrities (we use this term loosely) are people, too, and are often fighting the same internal battles as the rest of us — and then Michael Lohan comes along and snaps us out of it. See, Mike's father died last night amid a family feud that's been playing out in the media over the last few days. You'd think the passing of a parent might put life into perspective, but for Michael it just sent him over the edge in his quest to burn ex-wife Dina at the cross. Naturally, he issued a statement to OK! within hours of his father's death:
My father just, literally, died in my arms. I notified all my kids and my lawyer notified Dina's attorney. Let's see if she has the decency and respect to bring my kids to the wake and funeral. THIS will show her true colors! Thus, not even a call. But that's par for the course with Dina! She didn't even send a card or visit when he was sick.
Really, there are no words.
[Source]
This is the third development today in the Lindsay Lohan-Michael Lohan-Samantha Ronson feud, which just goes to show how eager these people are to lash out via any media outlet who will listen. Michael upped the ante this afternoon by responding to a classier publication than normal: ABC News. It's a sad day when ABC News has gotten in on the Lohan family drama.
Michael had some not-so-nice things to say about both Lindsay and Samantha, then he threw Dina into the mix by saying she's a two-faced mother more concerned with being her daughter's friend. Tell us something we didn't know, Mike. Most endearing is the part where he insults Lindsay's decreasing movie salary — but he wants her to be "in a good place." What a sweetheart.
It's really difficult to explain the disaster that is Michael Lohan's view of the world, so we'll let him speak for himself (after the jump). CONTINUED »
Well, that was fast: After Lindsay Lohan issued a statement to Access Hollywood in response to her father's cries for attention and then Samantha Ronson posted a MySpace rant about Michael's idiocy, Linds took to her MySpace to vent some more. Because evidently enough hurtful things haven't been said amongst the Lohan clan.
We feel for Lindsay a bit, because her father truly is a media whore, but she lost us when she insisted that her mother is the goddess of all things pure and good in this world. Um, no. To make matters worse, she also does that weird thing with the hyphens, just like Sam.
This is way less entertaining without Anderson Cooper around to provide commentary. CONTINUED »
We've come to the conclusions that the Lohan family can't survive without being involved in some sort of public feud. The latest was with America's hero, Anderson Cooper, but this time they're keeping it inside the family and battling father Michael Lohan. Oh boy.
Upon news that Lindsay's girlfriend Samantha Ronson plans to write a tell-all, Michael went into a tirade accusing Sam of using LiLo for fame. Mike's not so self-aware, is he? In response, Lindsay pulled her dad aside and had a mature talk about how his actions hurt her. Just kidding, she went to Access Hollywood to announce that her father is "out of control."
So now it's Samantha's turn, and she unleashed her anger via MySpace, Brooke Hogan-style. CONTINUED »
Lindsay Lohan's freak-sistah (not Ali) is getting a chance to tell her possibly-insightful story of growing up a real-life Tenenbaum. Samantha Ronson is in talks to pen a memoir about her life, and while everyone is freaking out that Samantha is using her relationship with LiLo to garner interest (she is), the DJ/club owner/child-of-a-socialite probably has some juicy niblets from her own life that don't involve Fire Crotch. Is Ronson a legitimate celebrity without Lindsay? No. But that's not usually a criteria for authors.
Best part of the whole book lead up?
• This girl needs to back off of Michael Phelps immediately or there's going to be trouble. [DListed]
• Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo hang out with Lindsay and Samantha in a desperate attempt to stay relevant. [PS]
• Felicity Huffman must have a death wish. [Yeeeah]
• Paula Abdul is undergoing neck surgery, because how else is she going to get more painkillers? [ICYDK]
• There's cheerleading in the Olympics? Really? [CityRag]
• Katherine Heigl got into a small tiff with a cop. Unfortunately, it didn't end in an arrest. [INO]
• Old school Britney loved Cheetos even back in the day. [DListed]
• Lindsay Lohan's side boob would be more exciting had we not already seen the entire thing. [HT]
• Gwen Stefani is about to give birth. Oh good, because we haven't heard any celebrity baby news lately. [ICYDK]
• Upon realizing that everyone in America hates her, Paris Hilton is taking her BFF search overseas. [PS]
• Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds decided to hold off on their wedding until after the presidential election. There's still time! [INO]
• Megan Fox will film a lesbian scene. Of course. [Yeeeah]
Courtenay Semel, Lindsay's ex and the latest to "win" a shot at love with Tila Tequila, stole her share of the limelight this week in Vegas when she was charged with battery. Apparently Courtenay had a bit too much to drink at Pure nightclub and decided it would be a great idea to slap a security guard in the back of his head.
To be fair, if we were dating Tila we, too, would be drunk and angry all the time.
[Source]
Amidst false reports that Michael Phelps, the greatest Olympian/athlete/human being of all time, is dating fellow swimmer Amanda Beard, his hometown Baltimore paper has come out in defense of the golden boy to claim that everyone has it wrong. According to the Baltimore Sun, Phelps is off the market, but his girlfriend has been around for quite some time now and is not famous in the least.
This so-called girlfriend better watch out, however, because Michael's latest admirer is none other than Lindsay Lohan, who sent a text to Billy Bush to pass along to Phelps' mom, Debbie, saying her son was "[bleeping] amazing and I want to meet him!"
[Source]
"Cracks" are beginning to show in Lindsay Lohan's lesbian veneer. Anonymous busy bodies tell OK! that the actress and her gal pal Sam Ronson have been bickering and Lohan's been getting close to the cock:
Lindsay Lohan arrived at the West Hollywood opening of Apple Lounge in an outfit she pulled from 14-year-old sister Ali's closet.
[Source]
So it turns out Lindsay Lohan has a MySpace blog, and she's used it this time around to tell us she misses Samantha (complete with a frowny face) and take up for her 14-year-old sister Ali, who is facing one of the toughest battles: boob job rumors.
All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.
Interesting argument, Linds. So the reason Ali hasn't had a boob job is because of Dina's fine influence? Ha!
• Jessica Simpson attempts her best "sexy" face. [HT]
• "Ali Lohan is ready to follow in big sis Lindsay's musical footsteps" is not a compliment, Ali. Sorry. [INO]
• What the hell happened to Jake Gyllenhaal? [ICYDK]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson got matching tattoos, because that's what BFFs do. [Yeeeah]
• Sacha Baron Cohen's daughter: A mini-Borat. [PS]
• The next classic Hollywood has decided to destroy: The Witches of Eastwick. We give up. [DListed]
Courtenay Semel, who spells her name in the most ridiculous way possible and is described as a "socialite," is the newest loser to win a shot at love with Tila Tequila — and she didn't even have to eat pig vaginas! You may recognize Tila's new girlfriend as Lindsay Lohan's former rumored fling (yes, LiLo kissed some girls before the lovely Samantha Ronson came into her life), but this time around Courtenay has found true love: “I’d seen the show [A Shot at Love] and just needed to meet her … and it just happened.” What just happened? The chlamydia?
Tila insists she's very happy (until the next season of her reality show starts filming, of course):
There are no games. It’s true what they say about lesbians — you meet and then the next day you move in together, because I can’t get rid of her. She pretty much lives at my house.
Sounds like a match made in publicity heaven.
[Source]
Samantha, Mark and Charlotte Ronson grace the pages of the latest issue of Harper's Bazaar in a fairly boring article that only gets exciting when — who else? — Lindsay Lohan becomes the topic of conversation. Naturally, Sam played coy: "I'm not going to talk about Lindsay because she's my friend, you know? She's great. She's also 22 years old. I think people forget that." Maybe people forget she's only 22 years old because she looks 40.
• One of the fattest cats in America, who was abandoned in New Jersey, found a home. Aww. [DListed]
• Pink has some harsh words — via song — for ex Corey Hart. [INO]
• Kim Kardashian takes a break from her hard life to be photographed at the beach. [Yeeeah]
• Denise Richards' reality show may not come back for a second season. We weren't even aware someone was stupid enough to consider it. [ICYDK]
• Who hasn't seen Lindsay Lohan's funbags? [HT]
• Seal and Heidi Klum's family vacation is cuter than yours. [PS]
So we're actually glad that Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson seem to be making their not-so-secret relationship work — even though we highly doubt it will last, the two of them seem happy for the time being. But when stories like this come out (no pun intended), it's hard not to be annoyed:
Mark Ronson had two women at his feet during his deejay gig at the Hard Rock Hotel Chicago: his sister Samantha and her girlfriend, Lindsay Lohan. During Mark's set, the cuddly twosome sat underneath a table near his feet and had waiters bring them drinks. When they did come out of hiding, Sam … was 'constantly texting with Lindsay, even though Lindsay was seated on the stage near her,' laughed a witness. 'They'd text and giggle and just stare at each other.'
[Source]
Converted Christian ex-con Michael Lohan says that were his daughter, Lindsay, to marry her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, it would probably be without his blessing.
"I haven’t heard anything (about an upcoming wedding) from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle,” says Michael. “She knows about my (Christian) faith … she just wouldn’t ask."
Yay, sanctimoniousnesses! And hypocrisy! And religions supposedly based on love that simultaneously prevent fathers from truly expressing love for their daughters! Jesus Christ!
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