MICHAEL LOHAN TRYING TO GET BACK INTO CASH COW'S GOOD GRACES "Lindsay Lohan’s estranged father, Michael, feels bad about criticizing her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson. 'I definitely regret all the things I said about Samantha. … I'm a Christian. I should not pass judgment on anyone.'"
Dina Lohan has displayed plenty of bad judgment in the past: She married Michael Lohan, the crazy famewhore who likely puts the latest issue of OK! magazine next to the Bible on his nightstand; she steered daughter Lindsay down the worst path possible, which led to arrests and multiple stints in rehab; then she paraded her youngest daughter, Ali, on reality television in an effort to score a record deal. It's quite sad, actually.
To aid her latest project, Dina went to the media with claims that music manager Johnny Wright is desperate to steer Ali's career, much like he has done with Justin Timberlake and the Jonas Brothers. Dina's rep issued a statement saying she was "interested and would take the meeting" with Wright. One problem: Johnny hates her guts and has no problem admitting it.
His rebuttal (Sherri Shepherd's word of the day) after the jump. CONTINUED »
• Britney Spears' new single is upon us. It makes our brain hurt, but it's going to be huge, because it's Brit and she didn't shave her head. [PS]
• Pamela Anderson wants to pose nude for Playboy one last time. Um … no. [Yeeeah]
• The going rate for being married to Chris Kattan: $100,000 for less than two months. Not bad. [DListed]
• Lindsay Lohan took out an "order of protection" against her starved-for-attention father, Michael. Can we do the same thing so we never have to hear from him again? [INO]
• Christina Aguilera is turning into Lady GaGa. [HT]
• 90210's Shenae Grimes is really unlikeable and wants you to stop hating. Duly noted. [ICYDK]
THIS 'INSIDER' IS OBVIOUSLY MICHAEL LOHAN "It's been less than a year since Lindsay Lohan left rehab — but friends and family members are frantic that she's on the fast track to another drug and alcohol-driven breakdown. 'Lindsay's been drinking, doing cocaine and causing all-around mayhem for the past few months,' an insider tells Star."
• Why this Big Mac addict isn't dead yet is beyond us. [DListed]
• Lindsay Lohan says what we're all thinking about father Michael: "We've gone through enough with him. Enough is enough — until he decides to be a grown-up." [PS]
• Amy Winehouse trashed a hotel room and had to be wrapped up in a duvet so her handlers could carry her out. Good for you, Amy! [Yeeeah]
• Are we going crazy or does Aubrey O'Day look less like a drag queen than usual? [INO]
• Will Smith gets mocked by a German TV host, and it's awesome. [CityRag]
• Pamela Anderson is not dating Michael Jackson. Praise Xenu. [ICYDK]
Good news, everyone: Michael Lohan ran to E! News to announce that he and the rest of his obnoxious family have called a truce just in time for his father's burial. Mike went on to confirm that all of his children will be in attendance, despite Lindsay's publicized absence at the funeral earlier this week.
But here's where things get weird: Michael actually goes on to say nice things about Dina!
'And I can't believe how great Dina has been,' he said of his ex-wife. 'She has been wonderful. She has been the woman I married. She has been great.'
Time to go stock up on bottled water and flashlights.
[Source]
Poor Michael Lohan. In just one short week, the former prison inmate publicly fought with his daughter and ex-wife and suffered the loss of his father. But things grew worse over the weekend when Lindsay failed to show up for her grandfather's wake in Long Island, choosing instead to spend her time shopping in Manhattan with girlfriend Samantha Ronson. This forced Mike to discuss Lindsay's absence with the always sympathetic X17 photo agency, which we assume will be followed up with another preposterous exclusive with OK! magazine.
We can't really fault Linds for failing to show up to the wake, because her grandfather's death was never about the passing of a family member — it was an opportunity for Michael to stay in the news. Lindsay's presence at the funeral would have turned the entire event into a circus, which Grandpa Lohan surely didn't deserve.
[Source]
Sometimes we are reminded that celebrities (we use this term loosely) are people, too, and are often fighting the same internal battles as the rest of us — and then Michael Lohan comes along and snaps us out of it. See, Mike's father died last night amid a family feud that's been playing out in the media over the last few days. You'd think the passing of a parent might put life into perspective, but for Michael it just sent him over the edge in his quest to burn ex-wife Dina at the cross. Naturally, he issued a statement to OK! within hours of his father's death:
My father just, literally, died in my arms. I notified all my kids and my lawyer notified Dina's attorney. Let's see if she has the decency and respect to bring my kids to the wake and funeral. THIS will show her true colors! Thus, not even a call. But that's par for the course with Dina! She didn't even send a card or visit when he was sick.
Really, there are no words.
[Source]
This is the third development today in the Lindsay Lohan-Michael Lohan-Samantha Ronson feud, which just goes to show how eager these people are to lash out via any media outlet who will listen. Michael upped the ante this afternoon by responding to a classier publication than normal: ABC News. It's a sad day when ABC News has gotten in on the Lohan family drama.
Michael had some not-so-nice things to say about both Lindsay and Samantha, then he threw Dina into the mix by saying she's a two-faced mother more concerned with being her daughter's friend. Tell us something we didn't know, Mike. Most endearing is the part where he insults Lindsay's decreasing movie salary — but he wants her to be "in a good place." What a sweetheart.
It's really difficult to explain the disaster that is Michael Lohan's view of the world, so we'll let him speak for himself (after the jump). CONTINUED »
Well, that was fast: After Lindsay Lohan issued a statement to Access Hollywood in response to her father's cries for attention and then Samantha Ronson posted a MySpace rant about Michael's idiocy, Linds took to her MySpace to vent some more. Because evidently enough hurtful things haven't been said amongst the Lohan clan.
We feel for Lindsay a bit, because her father truly is a media whore, but she lost us when she insisted that her mother is the goddess of all things pure and good in this world. Um, no. To make matters worse, she also does that weird thing with the hyphens, just like Sam.
This is way less entertaining without Anderson Cooper around to provide commentary. CONTINUED »
We've come to the conclusions that the Lohan family can't survive without being involved in some sort of public feud. The latest was with America's hero, Anderson Cooper, but this time they're keeping it inside the family and battling father Michael Lohan. Oh boy.
Upon news that Lindsay's girlfriend Samantha Ronson plans to write a tell-all, Michael went into a tirade accusing Sam of using LiLo for fame. Mike's not so self-aware, is he? In response, Lindsay pulled her dad aside and had a mature talk about how his actions hurt her. Just kidding, she went to Access Hollywood to announce that her father is "out of control."
So now it's Samantha's turn, and she unleashed her anger via MySpace, Brooke Hogan-style. CONTINUED »
Bust out the pints of Ben and Jerry's: 48-year-old Michael Lohan reportedly proposed to his girlfriend Erin Muller who, at 24, comes in at half his age. Sounds like true love to us. (Although, looking at the picture, we have a sneaking suspicion she's a little older than that. Or perhaps she's been spending all her time in a tanning bed.)
According to sources, "they're keeping [the engagement] quiet for the moment," which must be a lie because Michael Lohan couldn't keep something quiet if the world depended on it.
[Source]
If you haven't been keeping up with the Anderson Cooper-Lohan family feud, then we'll give you the shortened version: Anderson insulted Dina and Ali on Live with Regis and Kelly, then Dina told OK! magazine something about cruelty and karma, then Anderson responded on 360 by basically laughing at the idiocy of the entire family. Caught up? Good.
We knew it was only a matter of time before Michael Sr. threw his hat into the ring, and he didn't disappoint with his statement to Access Hollywood:
I think Anderson Cooper is an opinionated, hypocritical idiot who should be an adult and keep his opinion to himself. He is the last person to judge anyone, when he and his own family have their own issues.
Because if anyone is in a position to talk about keeping your opinions to himself, it's Michael "I sell my statements to the tabloids" Lohan. Well played.
Anderson, rebuttal?
[Source]
Converted Christian ex-con Michael Lohan says that were his daughter, Lindsay, to marry her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, it would probably be without his blessing.
"I haven’t heard anything (about an upcoming wedding) from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle,” says Michael. “She knows about my (Christian) faith … she just wouldn’t ask."
Yay, sanctimoniousnesses! And hypocrisy! And religions supposedly based on love that simultaneously prevent fathers from truly expressing love for their daughters! Jesus Christ!
Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, seen here holding their noses in the presence of a homeless man, have been parading their love around New York City recently, but LiLo decided that's simply not enough — so she changed her BlackBerry messenger name to "LL <3s samanhattan - I didn't get hit by a bike!!!" Naturally.
So the bike incident, which allegedly happened Saturday night and sent Lindsay to the hospital, was a cover-up?? A friend says yes: "When we asked her what actually happened, she clammed up. She did go to the hospital, but won't tell anyone why. It's really odd." Even more interesting is the fact that Michael Lohan has gone to the media outlets confirming the accident, so he is either a liar or really knows nothing about his daughter's life. It could go either way.
• Jessica Simpson's father threatens Dallas Cowboys fans around the country: "She's coming to the games this year, so you better get ready. She's a fan from the beginning to the end." Or until she gets dumped. [PS]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are considering asking Bono to be the godfather to the holy twins, which pretty much seals those kids' fate in rehab. [INO]
• Denise Richards is still campaigning to win the title of Most Vile Person Ever. [DListed]
• Lindsay Lohan was hit by a motorcycle over the weekend in NYC. There were no injuries, but father Michael still felt the urge to blab about it to every media outlet who would listen. [Yeeeah]
• Britney Spears is on vacation — but has yet to learn how to escape the paparazzi. [HT]
• Desperation: Madonna and Guy Ritchie will renew their wedding vows in a pathetic attempt to shoot down those pesky divorce rumors. [ICYDK]
The newest Lohan spawn, Ashley Kaufmann, made her first Entertainment Tonight appearance with her greedy mother by her side to talk about how much she hates her alleged father Michael. It's like watching Lindsay all over again, except way more annoying. Her mother claims she's so sorry for the way everything has played out — hence the reason they're pimping out their story to ET.
• Guess who's looking for a record deal? [DListed]
• Mario Lopez turned down an offer to appear in Playgirl. Thank God. [INO]
• Mariah Carey's new music video: Just like all the others. [HT]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were spotted at Cartier yesterday, sending celebrity bloggers everywhere into an "OMG ARE THEY ENGAGED?!" frenzy. [PS]
• It's a sad day when Amy Winehouse's record label has to act as her parent. [ICYDK]
• More information than we ever wanted to know about Christi Brinkley's ex. [Yeeeah]
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