I moved to California, so did my mom. I feel my mom moved to California and did stuff that she wouldn’t have done if she was still in Chicago.
-Kanye West, on his mother, Donda, who last year died of complications from a plastic surgery procedure
IN SUMMATION: HEROIN, HEROIN, HEROIN…BAND • "Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis' 2004 autobiography, 'Scar Tissue', is set to be adapted for a new TV show on US network HBO. The show … is set to be an offbeat comedy, reports the Guardian. It will focus on the singer's early life in Los Angeles, where he lived with his father, a drug dealer to musicians in the area, plus beyond into the LA rock scene."
Here's your handy-dandy visual representation of LA's homophobia.
As you can see, South Central is not too keen on the gays, whereas WeHo and Santa Monica are BFFs with them. The Valley is apparently teeming with bigots, so it's a good thing nobody cares about it.
That red dot is Silver Lake, the obnoxious hamlet where your editor used to lay his head. Silver Lake is very, very, very gay and in what's basically East Hollywood, just a couple miles away from another big "yes" voting area—East LA.
Conclusion: Another way to look at this map is as a guide to show you where in Los Angeles ethnic minorities and old people live. Sad but true.
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Starting at Sunset Junction in Silver Lake at 6 p.m. and arriving eight and a half hours later in West Hollywood at around 2:30 a.m., the Los Angeles Prop 8. protest ended early Sunday with a sit-in in the middle of the street. Throughout the night, groups would join the protest as it made its way through Hollywood and environs. While passing through the Sunset Strip, the rally picked up everyone's favorite angel, Drew Barrymore — and paparazzi — who marched with the approximately 3,000 swing shift protesters. As the exhausted but defiant crowd occupied the intersection of San Vicente and Santa Monica, Drew took to the microphone, tearfully telling the assembled crowd, "I will fight with you!"
Before you continue reading, please make sure there are no Britney Spears crazies in the immediate vicinity, because this news just might send them over the edge.
Tiny narc Ryan Seacrest announced on his radio show that Brit will reunite with ex Justin Timberlake tonight as part of increasingly desperate Madonna's "Sticky and Sweet" concert tour. The beginning of the end of days will take place at LA's Dodger Stadium, where all three singers will come together on stage for some world-class lip-syncing.
For our LA readers: It might be wise to stock up on flashlights and bottled water today.
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LA'S BURNING AGAIN "Two wildfires driven by strong Santa Ana winds threatened neighborhoods near Los Angeles on Monday, killing one person, destroying several dozen mobile homes and forcing evacuations. Firefighters were struggling with a 3,700-acre blaze in the San Fernando Valley's northeastern corner when a new blaze erupted at midmorning a few miles to the west in mountains above the Porter Ranch area and quickly grew to 500 acres. 'It is a blowtorch we can't get in front of,' said Los Angeles County fire Inspector Frank Garrido."
David Spade obviously has an effect on the ladies, but who knew he also garnered the attention of heterosexual men? J.R. Moehringer, a writer for Los Angeles magazine, went to high school with David and decided to express his years-long crush through an eight-page article focusing on Spade's trick to being a ladies' man. We already know the secret: He's famous and he has money. Anyone can get women when they have one of the two.
David, of course, begs to differ and offers his advice to men hoping to attract women. CONTINUED »
Why buy the cow when its way of life is so reliant upon you that it can't leave, despite the fact that you rob it blind? That's apparently the abusive husband-like thinking of the city of Los Angeles, which continues to watch shows formerly filmed in its borders – Ugly Betty, In Treatment – head east after failing to offer film and television productions tax breaks comparable to those of New York City.
LA has always sucked, but it's going to suck even more if visitors driving around and looking at it can't every 20 minutes go, "Hey, that's that building from that one movie." According to the numbers, that's happening quite frequently these days. The mayor's office estimates that in just five months since the city of New York enacted their massive tax breaks, city-based shoots have contributed $505 million more in spending than they did during the same time last year.
And New York's not the only city wising up to how profitable playing nice with the movie stars is:
World famous pornographer Hugh Hefner, who's somehow convinced everyone that he's better than the common street pimps who do what he does, is being forced to can Playboy staffers in both New York and Los Angeles.
Since Hefner's once reputable magazine went from interviewing people like Malcolm X to interviewing people like Pete Wentz, and since anyone interested in masturbating to pictures now has the Internet for that, Playboy the brand has seen its stock fall precipitously, from $11.40 to $2.85.
This is just the latest blow to the 83-year-old Hef's empire, which has been in a rough patch for quite sometime now. Besides being turned down by falling starlet Lindsay Lohan, it's rumored that Playboy's notorious mansion parties have a tenuous future and that two out of three of Hef's girlfriends, Holly Madison and Kendra Wilkinson, have ditched him for younger men (magician Criss Angel and football player Hank Baskett, respectively).
Whaddya know? Women for whom one pays have no loyalty.
Update: Whoops! Page Six reports today that Hef's final girlfriend, Bridget Marquardt, is now dating Marisa Tomei's ex.
LA sucks for many reasons, but one big one is its mayor, Anthony Villaraigosa. It's hard to trust a guy who sits around chatting with Paris Hilton while eating succulent bone-in lamb chops. It's even harder to trust a guy who outright lies about how much time he dedicates to his public service, saying he works 18 hours a day while actually putting in 13, many of which are dedicated to traveling and winning office again.
After the jump, a look at Mayor Villaraigosa's use of time from May to August of this year, according to whistle-blowing paper the LA Weekly.
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The paparazzi have been having a tough go at it lately when it comes to celebrities in airports: First was the epic fight with Kanye West, and now the photogs have been duped by a Jamie Lynn Spears decoy. Just a note: If a Spears outsmarts you, you know it's time to pack it up and call it a day. Anyway, the trickery took place Wednesday when a group of police officers escorted a young blonde girl with sunglasses from her flight to baggage claim. The paparazzi immediately swarmed; meanwhile, Jamie Lynn and baby Maddie snuck out another way.
LA police swore they were not escorting the woman — they were simply helping guide the crowd to baggage claim. Um, except that wasn't the case. Watch the video here.
There hasn't exactly been a whole lot of Oscar buzz surrounding Spike Lee's new World War II film, The Miracle at St. Anna, but if there is and he doesn't get one, he'll know why. Lesson for those who want an Academy Award: don't mess with Clint Eastwood… or, better yet, move to Los Angeles.
Reportedly displeased with girlfriend Drew Barrymore's excessive drinking, Justin "Mac" Long dumped her and went looking for greener, more sober pastures; so it makes little sense that he's stopped to graze on noted alcohol enthusiast Kirsten Dunst.
Long and Dunst were recently spotted together at LA's Sunset Junction music festival, "making out hardcore" in the margarita line.
COP PULLS GUN ON DIDDY ET AL "A cop pulled a gun on rap mogul Sean (Diddy) Combs during a routine traffic stop in Los Angeles, authorities said Sunday. A Los Angeles County sheriff's deputy briefly brandished his weapon at Combs on the Sunset Strip after cops pulled over a car driven by a member of his entourage. 'A deputy pulled his firearm, fearing for his safety,' said a sheriff's department spokesman. 'The situation was deflated as quickly as it began.' Combs spokeswoman Keesha Johnson said the cop did not pull the gun directly on the rapper, and stressed that the officers were 'really respectful.'"
If you notice, since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody anymore, thank God, and evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don't seem to have much of an issue.
-Los Angeles Police Chief William Bratton, on his city's recently mitigated paparazzi problem
The Chinese are learning so fast, aren't they? First they got better than us at killing their own people, then they got better than us at making money and now they've surpassed us in frivolous litigation!
More than 1,000 Chinese earthquake victims and a New York lawyer are demanding a $1 billion payout from Sharon Stone — or maybe just an apology, the New York Post reports.
The "Basic Instinct" star was recently served with legal papers announcing attorney Ming Hai's intention to sue her for harming Chinese people when she suggested the catastrophic quake last May was "karma" for the regime's occupation of Tibet.
"For the families who have lost their loved ones or lost limbs or suffered severe injuries, your … statement and act has caused extreme emotional distress," Ming wrote …
Look, more than anyone, we believe Sharon Stone deserves to be punished, but a billion dollar lawsuit? Can't all of China just agree to get together and laugh at the batty actress until their collective stomach vibrations cause a tidal wave that sinks LA, and thus Stone's home? That's much more creative, not to mention poetic.
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT "Weary of the scrums of photographers chasing celebs at the airport, on the beach and through the streets, some Los Angeles-area leaders are contemplating tougher regulations against the people who make their living by catching celebrities off-guard."
Editor
