Um, what the hell just happened? No, seriously. I have never been more confused and at a loss for words than I am at this very moment.
I chose to witness the David Blaine Dive of Death from the comfort of my living room instead of trekking over to Central Park to hang out with Crazy Jennifer. The ABC special lasted over two hours — packed with filler and the host's false claims that David had stayed in an upside-down position for 60 hours — and Blaine still couldn't complete his stunt in time. He performed some of his world-famous card tricks, he caught a bullet in (a metal cup in) his mouth, and then he performed the Dive of Death. This DoD was never fully explained, so the DB-hating roommate and I just sat staring at the screen in utter confusion as he dove from a 44-foot-high platform while attached to a harness. He got stuck about halfway down and then was lifted back into the air. This is where things got really weird: The production crew flickered the lights on and off a few times and then cut away from David in the air, claiming he "vanished into the night." And … credits.
You know, I might have been willing to forgive David for his lack of a stunt if it ended in something truly awesome, but this? This was a waste of my time and could have been performed by a 5-year-old. I'm still confused.
[Video will be added as it is made available, but trust me ... if you stare at a dripping faucet for over two hours it will be infinitely more entertaining.]
Update: Video after the jump! CONTINUED »
There are some things we can count on: The sun comes up from the east. Heidi and Spencer show up for any red carpet event, no matter how inane. And posts about the Jonas Brothers and Clay Aiken bring out the crazies. But who knew those same weirdos would also go insane for David Blaine?
Upon our discovery that Blaine was not actually doing anything he promised during his latest stunt, rabid fan Jennifer took to the comments section to set the record straight: CONTINUED »
Upon hearing that David Blaine would idiotically be hanging upside down over Central Park for three days and two nights, I dispatched my lovely roommate Sara to witness the spectacle during her lunch break. Among her findings: "David Blaine is SUCH a little cheater."
Turns out the whole promise of hanging upside down for 60 hours straight failed to include the times he stretches his body horizontally and then stands straight up, on his own two feet, for multiple check-ups. Oh, and the whole suspension thing is a joke: Most of the time he's hovering over the ground, chatting with tourists and bystanders. So this — "he will hang upside down above New York's Central Park for three days and two nights … suspended six stories up on a highwire" — is totally false. Go figure.
Click through for the photographic evidence.
Remember when Jennifer Lopez pulled out of guest judging the Project Runway finale (leaving Tim Gunn to come to the rescue) after suffering a foot injury? And then two days later she participated in a triathlon? Someone looked into it, and it turns out that "foot injury" was all a sham (allegedly).
Apparently J.Lo was upset at The Weinstein Company (which produces PR) because it failed to offer her a part in an upcoming Weinstein film. She was told Thursday, the day before the PR finale filmed, that she would not be getting the part. Voila! Jennifer got a foot injury and was forced to pull out, much to host Heidi Klum's dismay: "Heidi went from one big-name judge for the finale to none," said a source. "It was embarrassing, especially the excuse that [Lopez] was hurt." Maybe we're crazy, but we'd pick Tim Gunn over Jennifer Lopez any day. Project Runway is better off.
Oh, and for the record, J.Lo's rep denied the allegations (of course).
[Source]
THE OBNOXIOUS ODOR OF MENDACITY "When Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska took center stage at the Republican convention last week, she sought to burnish her executive credentials by telling how she had engineered the deal that jump-started a long-delayed gas pipeline project. Stretching more than 1,700 miles, it would deliver natural gas from the North Slope of Alaska to the lower 48 states and be the largest private-sector infrastructure project on the continent. … The reality, however, is far more ambiguous than the impression Ms. Palin has left at the convention and on the campaign trail. … an examination of the pipeline project … found that Ms. Palin has overstated both the progress that has been made and the certainty of success. The pipeline exists only on paper. The first section has yet to be laid, federal approvals are years away and the pipeline will not be completed for at least a decade. In fact, although it is the centerpiece of Ms. Palin’s relatively brief record as governor, the pipeline might never be built, and under a worst-case scenario, the state could lose up to $500 million it committed to defray regulatory and other costs." (both the emphasis and rage are ours)
Who knew Howard Stern was so sensitive? The shock jock took to the airwaves to deny reports that he was helping a 22-year-old girl auction off her virginity … because he has such a great reputation to defend? We don't get the outrage. He insists that he only invited her onto his show to interview her, not to assist in the process: "I'm really aggravated by this. I don't feel like defending myself to my kids about something that's in the paper that isn't true."
Fair enough, Howard. You can go back to being America's moral compass.
[Source]
YOU CAN PUT LIPSTICK ON A BULLSHIT PLAY AT VICTIM, BUT… "Sen. Barack Obama's reference to 'lipstick on a pig' has Republicans demanding an apology … McCain's campaign said Obama's remarks were offensive and a slap at Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin — despite the fact that the Arizona senator himself used the phrase last year to describe a policy proposal of Hillary Clinton's. … In Iowa last October, McCain drew comparisons between Hillary Clinton's current health care plan and the one she championed in 1993: 'I think they put some lipstick on the pig, but it's still a pig.' He used roughly the same line in May, after effectively claiming the Republican nomination." (emphasis ours)
Quite a disconcerting "Thought of the Day" at Web site for money men Forbes.com, but oh so enlightening.
Remember a couple weeks ago when Diddy made his heartfelt plea for oil so he could stop flying commercial? Turns out the private jet of which he spoke so fondly isn't exactly his.
An extensive look through federal aviation records by the Palm Beach Post turned up no Seans, Diddys, Combs, or Puffys as the registered owner. One source said, 'I have a list of every plane with the name of the owner, and he's not on it.'
For the record, says his rep, he's got a 'fractional' ownership in a plane on NetJets, where you buy flight hours.
This makes him an even bigger tool than previously thought. First off, you're a jerk for posting a video whining about having to travel commercial when most Americans can't even afford to fly at all; now that it turns out you were embellishing the truth about your private jet, that just makes you a delusional liar who's desperately trying to fit in with your richer friends.
[Source]
Todd Palin's former business partner has filed an emergency motion to have his divorce records sealed. Our best guess is that this means there is at least some truth to the National Enquirer story that Todd's wife, ultra-moral Republican vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin, cheated on him with this ex-associate. To quote a friend, "If this were a movie, it would be a bad one."
File this under We Could Have Told You That a Long Time Ago: New reports are claiming that Amy Winehouse may be suffering from brain damage — more specifically, schizophrenia — thanks to her multiple drug overdoses, which have included two in the past year or so. In August 2007, Amy binged on crystal meth, heroin and cocaine; this past July she was hospitalized after a "36-hour marijuana marathon that left her in convulsions." Wait, the same incident that her father claimed was caused by a friend spiking Amy's drink with ecstasy? Interesting.
'[Her father's] "explanation" for Amy's hospital dash in July was just simply untrue,' [a] Winehouse pal said. 'She had smoked an inhuman amount of hash which resulted in acute cannabis poisoning. You have to take a s***load of pot to to suffer that severe reaction. It is thought she had been smoking it for 36 hours.'
So this means … Mitch Winehouse lied? This is devastating.
[Source]
Ah, CBS. We were expecting for Big Brother to not air preacher's son Ollie's homophobic rants that were captured on the live feeds — but during last night's episode, the show completely fabricated the entire scene. As you may recall, Ollie lashed out at fellow contestant Memphis during a heated argument in the backyard, and as Ollie walked away he told Memphis to "suck my dick, little faggot." Memphis replied, "What did you just call me?" and followed him inside as Ollie repeated himself multiple times. But according to last night's episode, Ollie muttered "red-headed cabbage patch kid" instead of his original rant. Uh, OK? Would it have killed CBS to either a) completely edit out that segment or b) bleep out the offensive words? Why the golden child edit? (Scene in question is at 0:50, compared to the real fight here.)
This Us Weekly-esque picture of Rielle Hunter and her baby Francis, who may or may not be John Edwards' daughter, landed on the cover of the National Enquirer thanks to one of Rielle's sisters. Nice. Of the two potential snitches, one hasn't spoken to Rielle in 15 years and has already been previously identified as an Enquirer source. Gee, we wonder which one would sell a picture to the tabloid in exchange for a pocketful of cash?
We can't wait until this whole scandal blows over and it becomes a Lifetime movie.
IT'S ABOUT TIME "The International Olympic Committee (IOC) confirmed to The Epoch Times today that it has asked the International Gymnastics Federation to investigate the Chinese gymnastics underage fiasco, following new evidence that at least two gymnasts competed under the legal age in the Olympics."
The suddenly reliable (but only when John Edwards is involved) National Enquirer is still on the hunt for more proof that the tabloid was correct in its reporting, although nobody is really arguing otherwise. This time around the mag reveals even more details about John and his alleged mistress, Rielle Hunter — the latter of whom was flown on a $50,000 private jet to the Virgin Islands the day before Edwards' Nightline interview. This vacation was, of course, paid for by John's pals.
And as for the poor baby involved in all of this nonsense, Rielle has refused to allow a paternity test to determine the father because she believes Edwards will marry her after his cancer-ridden wife dies. Wow, that's romantic. Also, it sounds like John might not be the baby's daddy after all. But that doesn't mean he's not a slimeball.
Because average Americans can't be trusted to form their own opinions, Us Weekly trotted out a polygraph expert to explain how John Edwards may not have been completely honest during last week's Nightline interview regarding his affair with Rielle Hunter. Gee, you think?
Jack Trimarco, a former FBI Unit Chief, reported that due to John's "attempts to dodge questions" and "sketchy body language," he has come to the conclusion that Edwards is a liar. Other great revelations include a phenomenon knows as a "mixed signal," which Jack says occurs when Edwards stated he would participate in a paternity test while simultaneously nodding his head "no." This is so enlightening. Also suspect is the fact that Edwards frequently repeated questions back to the interviewer before giving an answer: "When a person is getting ready to tell a lie, they repeat the question back because they need time to formulate an innocent response."
Wow, that was extremely educational. Thanks, Us!
SHADY BUSINESS "Just nine months before the Beijing Olympics, the Chinese government's news agency, Xinhua, reported that gymnast He Kexin was 13, which would have made her ineligible to be on the team that won a gold medal this week."
John Edwards had a busy weekend. After admitting he cheated on his cancer-ridden wife, the former presidential candidate offered to take a paternity test to prove he did not father mistress Rielle Hunter's five-month-old daughter. Except — surprise! — Rielle announced that she would not participate in the test, therefore leaving this whole thing a mystery. Although it's not so much a mystery when it's obvious Edwards has lots more to hide.
Click through for his smarmy Nightline interview and count the lies. CONTINUED »
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