When you picture Mother's Day, you likely imagine flowers and brunch and happy moments with Mom — but thank goodness for Hollywood, which serves as a reminder that this special holiday isn't always picture perfect.

After the jump, a look at how some of our favorite celebrities honored mothers everywhere, complete with a rating on how well their moms fared in the rearing of their children.

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Having proved she can write Web logs about dolls – "Are you ready to play dolls!" – and ballroom dancing – "SHINE, SHINE, SHINE!" – troubled Mormon Marie Osmond is now tasked with opining about television in a blog sponsored by Broadcasting and Cable magazine.

It's no ghostwritten fitness book, but this will be this woman's third blog in as many years. She's prolific. We can't wait until Fall 2009.

• So, one to 10, ten being huge, how much of an idiot coward is Mitt Romney? [Queerty]

• All this Dancing With the Stars merchandise is really going to sap the class from the thing. [DListed]

• Why is this baby always so happy? What's her secret? [PS]

• The mouse click that saved this flier in Photoshop was the official death knell of Tara Reid's career. Oh well. [Yeeeah]

• Drea de Matteo gave her baby a slur for a middle name. [INO]

• Linda Hogan wants half of the Hulkster's fortune! Lady, do you know many beatings that man took at the hands of Sargent Slaughter for those millions? [ICYDK]

• Mischa Barton? Where'd she go? [HT]

We were blissfully unaware a third celebrity dancer was competing against Marie Osmond and Melanie Brown to become America's Starriest Dancer. But last night Brazilian dark horse Hélio Castroneves bested both ladies, making this the fourth season in a row a man has won Dancing With the Stars. We're not certain what all these male victories say about the voting public, but we believe it has something to do with women hating each other. (Do click on the link immediately preceding this. It is a New York Times article from the 19th century and it is funny and interesting in the same way many old people are.)

• "You've got hate mail!" [Queerty]

• Marie Osmond is said to have faked fainting to attract sympathetic Dancing voters. Liar, liar, secret underwear on fire! [DListed]

• Twiggy's snapped off of ANTM. [EBG]

• What's independent or spirited about Zach Braff? [PS]

• Impossibly, someone's found a way to be worse than Victoria Beckham. [HT]

• Johnny Depp sports the Canadian tuxedo in London. [INO]

• John Cusack has signed on to play an angry, lovestruck American in China in a period drama. How exciting for fans of very specific story lines. [ICYDK]

• Brendan Fraser, please have some dignity. [Yeeeah]

• Anna Nicole Smith's last living child is not yet stricken with unbelievable grief and anger, but give it time. [CityRag]

Huzzah! The latest season of prime time placeholder Dancing With the Stars ends this evening. This season, never have we wished more that a television show had unsung writers who could cripple it at will, but that is currently neither here nor there; the issue at hand is this: Tonight, who will wail with glee at being named the Dancingest Star and simultaneously sound the death knell for this bullshit talent show (until its inevitable resurrection in the spring)?

Will it be Marie Osmond, whose triple-whammy of calamities (in order of sadness: father passing, rehabbed son, fainting) is sure to draw some sympathy voters? Or, will the much more deserving Melanie Brown be able to remind America that the show isn't called Feeling Sorry for the Stars and finally prove to Eddie Murphy that "he don't know what he's missing"?

Our breath is bated, we tell you!

• "…Marie said, 'I hope we’ve grown up since then. I hope people look at the person and what they’ve done.' Her brother’s facial expression speaks to the larger social political reality." [Jossip]

• Salma Hayek stays out of the picture, now working on a she-wolf project. [Queerty]

• Lindsay Lohan meets the revolving door justice system. [DListed]

• "I see a guy who looks like he's been beaten with a baseball bat." Sure! [PS]

• Heidi Klum naked, but not. [HT]

• Jessica Simpson wants to date a man who is invasive and clingy. [INO]

• "What is Britney doing with her mouth?" [ICYDK]

• Hayden Panettiere is wanted in Japan for more than just her Heroes memorabilia. [Yeeeah]

• Top Model recaps for the fan out there. [CityRag]

I can dig it, Marie. Hearing people who have devoted their lives to "movement" go on and on about the "gaiety and fun of the samba" makes me feel like doing the exact same thing.