The Today Show stars Meredith Vieira, Matt Lauer, Ann Curry and Al Roker celebrated Halloween — and likely frightened small children — during this morning's broadcast.

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Billy Ray Cyrus stopped by The Today Show to speak about raising a famous daughter, but he seemed more interested in spewing off as many analogies as humanly possible. Our favorite: "The turkey with the longest neck's gonna be the one everybody's shootin' at." We're thinking of getting it crocheted on a pillow to pass down from generation to generation.

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New Kids on the Block made a very special appearance this morning on The Today Show to announce the group's reunion (complete with a new album and tour) and make me ashamed that, out of all the boys, I loved Jon. The problem with this whole fiasco lies in the fact that all the old NKOTB fans are wiser now and have more pressing things to do than spend $60 on a reunion concert. A good time for this comeback would have been, oh, say 1999?

The band's Q&A session — where they explain what they've been doing with their lives for the past 14 years — after the jump.

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A mousy spokeswoman for the embroiled Spears family appeared on The Today Show this morning to discuss the family's bitter battle with Texas quack Dr Phil.

Rookie anchor Meredith Viera lobbed softballs like this: "What is wrong with Dr Phil's statement [that Britney Spears needs medical attention]?" To which the spokeswoman opined, "What's wrong with Dr Phil's statement is that he made a statement." Burn! Using a less cutesy turn of phrase, the woman added that, by speaking to the press about Britney's condition, Phil was "violating a family trust." And Lord knows the Spears' been violated enough!

Our suggestion to the Spears clan: Get that psychopath Chris Crocker on the case. Dr Phil will have bleach in his eyes before you can scream, "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!!!!"

Never has morning news seen a gay joke so accidental and so unfunny.

Meredith Viera: Talk about movies with a heart: Brokeback Mountain. Did you have any idea when you were making that what you were sitting on, so to speak? So to speak - I probably shouldn’t use that term, actually. I apologize.

Jake Gyllenhaal: Wow! Uh -

MV: You make this movie and - wow - I’m sorry…

JG: Very well put, Meredith.

Because gays have anal sex, y'see? Har, har, har.

More Gyllenhaal after the jump.

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