Here's the Michael Jackson ballad that never was…until now! Originally recorded for the album Dangerous inclusion on Jackson's masterpiece, Thriller, "For All Time" was scrapped in favor of other, obviously better tracks. It's now being included as filler on the soulless 25th anniversary reissue of the album.
Press play and then find someone special to grope you. It'll be like your first 7th grade dance all over again!
Are we going to hell for thinking Michael Jackson's kids look completely frightening? Because when we saw this picture we thought they were, in fact, demons. No wonder he's been keeping them under wraps. Thankfully Jacko remembered to cover his own deteriorating face while he and the kids were at the Luxor. We can only handle so much.
[Source]
Heidi Montag, after finally finding her way into the sweaty embrace of Maxim, opened up about her semi-charmed kind of life for the magazine's February issue. Naïve is much too light a term…
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• What gives with the humping inanimate objects? Is that sexy? [SH]
• "Nice Day For A Meth Face Wedding" [DListed]
• Who's your favorite female celebrity? Related: Why do you have a favorite female celebrity? [PS]
• The first good choice this woman has ever made. [HT]
• For the benefit of those who are reactionary to the point of stupidity, today Will Smith explained that he doesn't like Hitler. [EBG]
• Michael Jackson's son beat his delicate face in! [INO]
• Paris Hilton's grandfather is a mensch. What happened to her? [ICYDK]
• Ha! [CityRag]
Lock up your kids (and your money)!
Fresh off of years and years of inactivity, Jermaine Jackson is piping up to claim that he and his damaged brothers are planning a Jackson 5 reunion tour for 2008. And according to Jermaine, yes, even the scary heavy-petter is aboard.
…"Michael will be involved. We feel we have to do it one more time. We owe that to the fans and to the public."
"There's been so much going on, getting over all the hurdles that we all were faced with during Michael's trial. But we are stronger than ever."
The 53-year-old has also hinted at the band releasing some new material, saying that the group was "in the studio at the moment".
This we'll believe when we see it perform for seven minutes before arguing amongst itself about the choreography, storming off stage and canceling all remaining dates.
Michael Jackson paid a recent undercover visit to Brooklyn, where he spent the day shooting a cover for Ebony magazine's issue celebrating the 25th anniversary of "Thriller." He acted "sweet"…"He did go on and on about kids, though, saying how much he loved them."
[Source]
Generally, like the industry with which it is fused, fashion portraiture is a scheme. Love Leibovitz all you'd like, but the truth is, with several thousand dollars, six assistants and 10 hours, you could take this picture (many times over, in fact). However, to make the melted, ghostly Michael Jackson look not just human, but even huggable, is a feat worth talking about. Congratulations, Bruce Weber.
• I've never before written this, but I honestly wouldn't have believe it if I hadn't seen it. Check it out above. [DListed]
• Penelope's in a bikini. Kinda boring. Bikinis are kinda boring. It's like, "Wow. Lycra. Thanks." [HT]
• Gisele's 27. Oddly enough, we all know her name and she still hasn't contributed shit. [ICYDK]
• Vintage luggage is better than expensive LV bags. If you don't agree, you're a commercial boob. [Yeeeah]
• MJ without the surgery! [CityRag]
As much of the world's media attempts to gently coax the Paris Hilton prison release story out of its shroud of mystery—Is it herpes? Did she, in fact, "spread 'em"?—TMZ has it cornered, and they're groping the shit out of it. Here's what's to be taken from their full-out assault:
1. Paris'anxiety was flaring up, not her herpes.
2. There is a useless connection to Michael Jackson that can be made.
3. Piece of shit Don King has found a way to use this travesty to his advantage.
4. She fought the law, she won, and the law's a sore loser.
5. There was a brilliant homophone joke relating to sperm to be harvested from all this.
• This guy was my pretty much my idol after Rumble Fish. What happened, Mick? [DListed]
• Roddick got Photoshop 'roids. At least they're safe. [BWE]
• Big boobs is your evidence? She's had big boobs for like seven years now. How long is that baby taking, guys? [HT]
• Lohan meltdown clock set two minutes closer to midnight. [ICYDK]
• Some prince is paying ten mill to hang with Michael Jackson. Dude, I would have done it for half that, and I wouldn't even molest you. [Yeeeah]
• Since boobs are no longer shocking on his show, Howard Stern has taken the next logical step to suicide. [CityRag]
• Knowing that this was forced makes it even more hollow than most other public service announcements. [SH]
Headline on Your Shoulders is like a caption contest but, instead of captioning the image given, you need to come up with a witty headline to accompany it. Keep it punny and—while it’s never preferable to share requests with Bill O’Reilly—we ask you to please, “keep it pithy.” And also, try to keep it interesting. What’s that mean? Well, let’s say the headline up above was “Gimme Headlines.” That’s a pun, and it’s succinct, but it’s not very interesting. Y’know?
Today's HOYS winner is Crick:
To Attend Falwell Funeral, Tinky Winky Shops for New Purse
Good job, Crick. I'm sure all the gay, fictional, children's-show-related aliens are in mourning.
More following the jump.
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• Is this "genius" or "smart, loner Senior with time and money"? I'd argue some of column A but more of column B. [ONTD]
• Neverland belying its name and proving fallibility. [DListed]
• But when hasn't Courtney Love slept with a puke towel? [NYP]
• Eye-an gets an offer from Playgirl. [ICYDK]
• Don't worry, Willa, you'll be bad. [GAM]
• Pink, they're not not playing your song because of your politics. They're not playing it because it sucks. Big time. [MSNBC]
• Haley Scarnato, we barely knew thee, and we're not all that bummed about it. Peace! [PopBytes]
Yesterday was Paris Jackson's ninth birthday. To celebrate, her father, Michael, took her on a shopping excursion to FAO Schwarz, threw her a grand party and allowed her to wear only one black dress wrapped tightly around her face and neck. As an added birthday treat, Michael promised that he wouldn't steal Paris' party guest's youthful souls.
[Source]
• The winner of "Most Creative" in the YouTube awards. It's brilliant, but let's not forget that it owes a lot to a very worthy predecessor. [People]
• A male singer wanted Sean Stewart's body. I guess he thought he was sexy and he wanted to let him know. [Queerty]
• A perfectly reasonable 50 foot robot request from the always pragmatic Michael Jackson. [DListed]
• If you can see the PIN number you'll have access to literally hundreds of dollars from the Party of Five fortune. [IDLYITW]
• It's better for to be humping Blunts than smoking them. Whatever it takes, Linds. [HR]
• Fake boobs, real princess. [HT]
• In some cultures, being locked in a Victoria's Secret with Britney Spears for all eternity is hell. [Defamer]
• Hollywood High 2025. I'm seeing why adoption is becoming more popular. [CityRag]
• No need for a prenup when there's no nup. [DListed]
• Phil Spector taking it down from jewfro to permachild. [SOMG]
• Wanna be on the Real World? No you fucking don't. [Glitterati]
• Michael Jackson breaching the looking-like-a-woman barrier into out-and-out-telling-people-he's-a-woman territory. For anonymity, of course. [MSNBC]
• Desperate Heiress. [INO]
• "You're turning violet, Violet!" [ICYDK]
• Heroin chic. [Celebitchy]
• Tobacco companies will survive the nuclear holocaust. [Economist]
Well, Japan's gotten sadder than I thought, as the obtuse minions actually ponied up the $3,500 a piece to meet Michael Jackson in Tokyo today.
While I can't believe anyone showed at all, perhaps more amazing is that one guy showed up dressed as Michael Jackson. I think this Japanese kid unwittingly created the best practical joke in the whole world. Arriving at functions dressed as the host is the new arriving at functions late.
PS His all over print, velvet suit is to die for. Seriously. And, it's hip with the kids.
Editor
