We can only hope that after this photo was taken Britney Spears told the Jonas Brothers to run for their lives. If there's anything interesting about the VMAs, it's the interactions behind the scenes between stars who would normally never speak to each other. For more audience and backstage photos, click through.

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• Why, Michael? Why? [DListed]

• A photograph of Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson kissing! OMG our head just exploded. Except not. [PS]

• Amy Winehouse requested 48 bottles of Jack Daniels during a two-day stay at the Bestival Festival. What's the big deal? That's just one bottle every hour. [INO]

• Kate Hudson is shacking up with ex-husband Chris Robinson. Raise your hand if you're surprised. [Yeeeah]

• Celebrating Beyonce's birthday with class. [CityRag]

• Rumer Willis blames genetics for her large chin. Obviously. [ICYDK]

In a surprising turn of events, our girl crush and our boy crush are planning a "quiet first date" together after someone told Michael Phelps that Carrie Underwood thinks he's cute. The two reportedly started text-messaging, which led to Michael romancing Carrie by requesting that their first date not include dinner: "I’m not so sure you’d want to see me eat! It might not make a great first impression."

Carrie's friends are less than impressed by this development, insisting that she was "devastated when her relationship with Tony Romo broke" and doesn't need another high-profile celebrity waltzing in and out of her life. Except this is Michael Phelps we're talking about — give him a couple more months and he will no longer be high-profile. America has a short attention span.

[Source]

America is slowly overdosing on Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps, but it warms our heart to see he's actually doing some good with his popularity, besides just spending his free time rolling around in money and ruining upcoming episodes of SNL.

[Source]

Saturday Night Live has chosen Michael Phelps to host the season opener on Sept. 13 with rapper (and Phelps favorite) Lil Wayne. We're not going to argue, because this means a) we can enjoy Michael on our television sets once again and b) he will be in NYC … but really? Michael Phelps? This has the potential to be the most awkward 90 minutes of television we've seen in a long time.

[Source]

PHELPS, GHOSTWRITER IN THE MONEY "Michael Phelps, winner of eight gold medals in Beijing and the man being hailed as the greatest Olympian of all time, … snagged an estimated $1.6 million advance from the Free Press imprint of Simon & Schuster for his latest book, to be called 'Built to Succeed.' Waxman Literary Agency, working with Phelps' long-time talent manager Peter Carlisle of Octagon, brokered the deal, which had a $1 million floor price just to get into the hunt."

• This girl needs to back off of Michael Phelps immediately or there's going to be trouble. [DListed]

• Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo hang out with Lindsay and Samantha in a desperate attempt to stay relevant. [PS]

• Felicity Huffman must have a death wish. [Yeeeah]

• Paula Abdul is undergoing neck surgery, because how else is she going to get more painkillers? [ICYDK]

• There's cheerleading in the Olympics? Really? [CityRag]

• Katherine Heigl got into a small tiff with a cop. Unfortunately, it didn't end in an arrest. [INO]

Olympian Amanda Beard told Access Hollywood yesterday that her strong protestations ("Eww, that's nasty") against rumors she is dating American hero Michael Phelps were not due to Phelps' physical appearance, as many presumed. Instead, Beard says her apparent disgust at the thought of getting romantic with Phelps stems from the fact that she's known the younger swimmer since he was a boy, thus forcing her to think of him as "a little brother."

Especially if one doesn't heavily consider the part when Beard said, "Come on, I have really good taste," this actually sounds like it could be a legitimate case of comments being misconstrued. Assuming it is, what does it say about the general public opinion that so many quickly concluded Beard was calling Phelps ugly?

JUST A THOUGHT How awesome would it be if, instead of extolling the merits of McDonald's, Michael Phelps used his current ubiquity to better publicize the notion that it's odd to hold the glorious, triumphant, ancient Olympic Games in China, a country that gets rid of freethinkers? It's not gonna happen, but wouldn't it be fantastic? Oh well—yay, McDonald's!

Amidst false reports that Michael Phelps, the greatest Olympian/athlete/human being of all time, is dating fellow swimmer Amanda Beard, his hometown Baltimore paper has come out in defense of the golden boy to claim that everyone has it wrong. According to the Baltimore Sun, Phelps is off the market, but his girlfriend has been around for quite some time now and is not famous in the least.

This so-called girlfriend better watch out, however, because Michael's latest admirer is none other than Lindsay Lohan, who sent a text to Billy Bush to pass along to Phelps' mom, Debbie, saying her son was "[bleeping] amazing and I want to meet him!"

[Source]

Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard on rumors she is dating eary merman Michael Phelps:

Eww, that's nasty. I have never, ever hooked up with Michael Phelps. Come on, I have really good taste … He's really not my type.

America got slaughtered last night by China in the Olympic baseball games, which does exist. Not "slaughtered" like China kicked the United States' butt (they didn't, America won 9-1….GO U.S.A.!). Slaughtered like "did that batter just get hit by a Chinese pitcher again?" Yes, yes he did, but only because he was involved in taking out the Chinese catcher.

Watch video of the traumas below (which included a batter, Matt LaPorta, given a concussion, for eff's sake):

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• Lily Allen has been taking cues from Amy Winehouse. [ICYDK]

• Jennifer Lopez doesn't understand why Michael Phelps is getting more attention than her. [Yeeeah]

• Victoria Beckham is offended by accusations that she takes diet pills. Would it be better for us to assume she simply doesn't eat? [INO]

• Lance Bass will show up at any birthday party if there's cameras involved. [DListed]

• People only care about Audrina Patridge if she's wearing a swimsuit. [HT]

• Ashlee Simpson would make a cute pregnant person if she would just take off that stupid hat every once in a while. [PS]

[Source]

Ever wondered what eight gold medals look like? No? Well, Michael Phelps wants to show you anyway, posing on the cover of Sports Illustrated with his winnings hanging around his neck. And if you were curious as to how popular he's become over the past couple of weeks, the media is now speculating on his love life, which means he's officially hit the big time. The two candidates for Michael's maybe-girlfriend are fellow Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard and model Lily Donaldson. The article left out his third potential girlfriend, Whitney, but it's probably best to keep that under wraps.

Now that President King Dictator Michael Phelps has won the Olympics — literally, the whole shebang is his — what's next? Doubtful that a guy could win eight gold medals in Beijing and then go back to Maryland with his dog to swim laps in the Potomac, although that looks as if it's Mikey's game-plan. Luckily, the money from Phelp's endorsements might last him long enough to buy a place in a nicer neighborhood than Baltimore; Speedo is writing him a cheque for $1 million as part of its promise for him winning eight gold medals, and that's on top of their existing endorsement deal, his sponorship gigs for Visa, Hilton, and Kellogg's (among others).

It leaves little doubt Phelps will add "richest Olympian" to his roster of personal records. But he's going to accomplish a more incredible feat: remaining relevant after the closing ceremonies. Indeed, where other celebrity Olympians disappeared into oblivion after their medal ceremonies, we see Phelps reaching the success of pro athletes who compete in leagues identified by three-letter acronyms.

Here's how:

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NBC ALSO BREAKING RECORDS "Michael Phelps' record eighth gold medal catapulted NBC to its best Saturday night ratings since 1990, with almost 40 million tuning in around 11 p.m. EDT to watch Phelps and the U.S. team win the 4×100m medley relay at the Beijing Olympics. The full Saturday night telecast on NBC averaged 31.1 million viewers, Nielsen Media Research said Sunday. That's up 38% compared with the 22.5 million viewers for the second Saturday during the 2004 Athens Games. … NBC said the last time it got an audience that size on a Saturday night was Feb. 24, 1990, when 31.4 million viewers watched 'Empty Nest.'"

Michael Phelps won eight gold medals over the weekend, which officially sent the media into a frenzy, dubbing him the greatest athlete of all time and whatnot. It's not really surprising, but after the miraculous finish from Friday night's 100m fly we were admittedly a little nervous. You can watch the video from Friday night here and Saturday night here, if you actually have a life and haven't seen them replayed on television a thousand times.

We would like to take a moment to wish Michael Phelps luck over the weekend on his quest to win eight gold medals — he's already racked up six, so he's in the home stretch. Let's just hope there's no underage Chinese athletes waiting to sabotage the competition.