Britney Spears, on whether or not she feels she missed out on her childhood:

I only did [The Mickey Mouse Club] for two years, and for six months out of each year I was at home all the time. I had a wonderful childhood, I was probably in my tenth year of school when I left to record my album — so I did the whole prom thing and played on the basketball team. There are some kids in show business who are always in New York and constantly going to audition, but I was fortunate it wasn't like that for me.

The sad thing is, she honestly believes she had a perfectly normal upbringing. She doesn't know any better. Going to prom does not equal being raised in a typical, stable environment.

GOT A FUNNY STORY ABOUT VOTING? LET US HEAR! Is Chuck Norris second-guessing a McCain vote right in front of you? Perhaps you watched Mickey Mouse vote, thus completely validating ACORN. Write us at squeal@mollygood.com to let us know if something fun and pop culture-ish went down as you got your civic duty on.

The intolerable Cyrus family has been relatively quiet over the past few days, but that doesn't mean the famewhores haven't been busy: Sources say that Miley and father Billy Ray are desperately trying to get fired from their Hannah Montana gigs because the deluded idiots think they no longer need the Disney show. Naturally, it all boils down to money: Billy Ray believes "there is more money in singing than a Disney cable show," so he and his daughter have been showing up late to work, stalling production and causing drama among the cast and crew. Not surprising.

Miley is predictably enjoying all of the attention — which has been scarce since her ex-boyfriend Nick Jonas started dating another (arguably better) Disney tween star — and she issued the following statement:

I am fully committed to Hannah Montana. It's what gave me this amazing opportunity to reach out to so many people. I couldn't do it alone. We have an amazing cast that is so supportive, including my dad who has been there for me every step of the way.

Hey, Disney? Keep the Cyrus twits in that contract as long as possible, just to make them suffer. Thanks.

[Source]

For the last few idiots left who look to Lynne Spears for parenting advice, consider this: The woman just leaked some of the "shocking" revelations from her new tell-all disguised as a celebrity parenting how-to in an effort to garner some publicity. The revelations include stories about Britney's sex life and drug and alcohol abuse, which would be surprising if the wise Road Kill Willie hadn't already spilled the beans.

Apparently Lynne claims that Britney began drinking alcohol at the age of 13, when she joined the Mickey Mouse Club. By 14, she had lost her virginity to an 18-year-old football player from her hometown, and by 15 she was taking drugs. Lynne details "the horror when Britney, just 16, was caught with cocaine and cannabis on a private jet." While Brit was the same age, Lynne allowed her to sleep with then-boyfriend Justin Timberlake because "Lynne thought Britney was in love and Justin was good for her."

So lessons learned? Lynne says she "regrets handing over control of Britney’s career to managers and allowing her daughter to be promoted as a sex object in raunchy videos at such a young age," which is basically saying, "I'm sorry those other people screwed up." Sounds like Mother of the Year to us.

[Source]

WHY? BECAUSE THEIR LAWYERS WERE GREEDIER THAN THEY WERE TALENTED "He is the world's most famous personality, better known in this country than anyone living or dead, real or fictional. Market researchers say his 97% recognition rate in the U.S. edges out even Santa Claus. He is the one — and, for now, only — Mickey Mouse. … Acts of Congress have extended Mickey's copyright so long that they provoked a Supreme Court challenge, making Mickey the ultimate symbol of intellectual property … at least until a grumpy former employee looked closely at fine print long forgotten in company archives. Film credits from the 1920s revealed imprecision in copyright claims that some experts say could invalidate Disney's long-held copyright, though a Disney lawyer dismissed that idea as 'frivolous.' … the unexpected discovery raises an intriguing question: Is it possible that Mickey Mouse now belongs to the world — and that his likeness is usable by anybody for anything?"