• Best "Afternoon Aural" in a long time. [Queerty]
• Heather Mills will be a contestant on next season's Celebrity Apprentice. Because a $50 million divorce settlement can't buy a person the common sense to not be on a reality show. [DListed]
• When in Rome, film commercials you'd be embarrassed to film in America. [PS]
• "There was a definite shift in my life when I decided to [dye my hair red]." Amy Adams, an actress, actually said that. [INO]
• Ashton Kutcher says he is not opposed to adopting a child. We certainly hope adoption agencies are opposed to letting Ashton Kutcher adopt a child. [ICYDK]
• Teeny-tiny girls in high heels! Thanks, Beyonce, you maniac. [Yeeeah]
• Mickey Rourke has a posse. [CityRag]
Here's your tragic anti-cigarette poster, ad clowns: A smoking, formerly dashing Mickey Rourke, who now looks to be composed of considerable amounts of old Silly Putty and chewed bubble gum. We doubt the Camels did that to his face, but they couldn't have helped.
[Source]
• Wow! JLo's kids really do share names with a couple characters on an animated show about magical dragons. We thought that was just a joke, but we guess it still kind of is. [Yeeeah]
• In case you were wondering, nowadays, Mickey Rourke looks like a melted woman. [DListed]
• What does Kristin Cavallari even do anymore besides add pictures to her Facespace? [HT]
• "Rachel Bilson Is Pregnant" [INO]
• Mamma Mia, indeed, young lady! [ICYDK]
• Matt Dillon totes hates kids, too! Especially "celebrity photographer" ones. [CityRag]
• The New York Times ran an entire article about how being at some form of a computer 24/7 might not be healthy. Thanks, Times. We can always count on you to make common sense seem difficult and unheard of. [NYT]
Mickey Rourke was popped for DUI this morning in Miami while driving a Vespa scooter. Generally unsurprising, but: That face! What did you do to The Motorcycle Boy, Mickey?
• This guy was my pretty much my idol after Rumble Fish. What happened, Mick? [DListed]
• Roddick got Photoshop 'roids. At least they're safe. [BWE]
• Big boobs is your evidence? She's had big boobs for like seven years now. How long is that baby taking, guys? [HT]
• Lohan meltdown clock set two minutes closer to midnight. [ICYDK]
• Some prince is paying ten mill to hang with Michael Jackson. Dude, I would have done it for half that, and I wouldn't even molest you. [Yeeeah]
• Since boobs are no longer shocking on his show, Howard Stern has taken the next logical step to suicide. [CityRag]
• Knowing that this was forced makes it even more hollow than most other public service announcements. [SH]
• Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn shop for hats, which is boring other than the reminder that Project Runway starts tomorrow! [I'm Not Obsessed]
• Are Jake Gyllenhaal and Natalie Portman still seeing each other on the sly? How does he have time, what with his rigorous Lance and Matt bike training. [Perez Hilton]
• Mickey Rourke's hair has to succomb to gravity like the rest of his body some time. [Gallery of the Absurd]
• Fresh off the success of Pirates, Keira Knightly announced that she is taking a break from acting. And apparently from shoes as well. [Faded Youth]
• Michael Douglas looks more and more like Joe Simpson every day. Yikes. [CityRag]
• I'd post these pictures of Hilary Duff and Joel Madden, but I worry that you might actually punch through your monitor. [Velvet Hot Tub]
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