• Have you ever stepped on a cat's tail? That's what Kat DeLuna's rendition of the National Anthem sounds like, except it goes on for two minutes. [DListed]

• Megan Fox in GQ. Men everywhere rejoice. [Yeeeah]

• What happened to Christina Aguilera? [PS]

• Heidi Montag tries on a large cross necklace covered in diamonds and poses for the paparazzi, because that's what Jesus would do. [HT]

• For those of you who forgot, the Jonas Brothers are just teenage boys and not the second coming of Xenu. [ICYDK]

• A couple made in cleanliness heaven: Mischa Barton and Josh Hartnett. [INO]

Us magazine, which loves celebrities like Ike loved Tina, has a new photo gallery in which it lists its favorite religious stars. Go there to see a "pious" Mischa Barton exiting a Catholic church one week after she was arrested for DUI.

Stars: They're just like us, using religion as a crutch when life gets a little bit scary.

• The latest D-list feud: Kim Kardashian vs. Shanna Moakler. Choose your side. [Yeeeah]

• Tila Tequila: "I'm shooting a commercial for safe sex. How ironic. Because I don't have that." [CityRag]

• Brooke Hogan claimed her dad was abusive, but now that she's mad at her mom she says she made it all up. Oooookay. [ICYDK]

• A fight broke out at Brad and Angelina's residence. [DListed]

• Mischa Barton was dropped by her agency. Wait, she had agents? [INO]

• This is quite possibly the ugliest dress we've seen in a while. [PS]

One day after news broke that Mischa Barton was "disappointed" to be associated with Hollywood's young partying starlets, the twiggy actress was spotted having a really good time in Berlin. The good news: At least she's learned to hire a driver.

[Source]

Mischa Barton is featured on the cover of Nylon magazine's August issue for reasons unbeknownst to us. The actress is no longer relevant in any way, shape or form, and to top it all off, she's delusional. Regarding her DUI arrest in December of last year, Mischa says that was a "low point" in her life: "I never, ever would have thought I would be arrested. I was disappointed because it associated me with a group of girls that I would rather not be associated with."

If you didn't want to be associated with that certain group of girls (we're assuming she means Nicole and Lindsay), then why not just refrain from that behavior in the first place? Oh, right, that's too easy.

Excited to see The Incredible Hulk this weekend? Don't be! Not even the film's star, Edward Norton, can maintain interest in the big-budget flick.

Norton, who was mind-blowing in Primal Fear and then kinda eh in everything since, is refusing to do any publicity for Hulk, opting instead to take a tropical vacation.

With this, Norton finds himself in the company of the young and talentless. Actress Mischa Barton pulled the exact same diva-ish behavior last month at Cannes, skirting press obligations for her film You and I.

We hate to say it, but we're starting to think rich, famous people are spoiled fucking brats.

Despite the ridiculous Manhattan heat, Mischa Barton felt the urge to put on tights and her best fringe boots while reminding people she still exists.

[Source]

Despite having a career trajectory that resembles the President's approval rating, Mischa Barton is still enough of a prima donna to have skipped all her press obligations for her new movie, You and I, at the Cannes Film Festival. And now she's gone missing in London, the film's next press stop. Says You and I director Roland Joffé: "She hasn't pulled out of interviews, she's pulled out of everything . . . Her room is here, she is here, but trying to get the two together has just been impossible. We just don't know where Mischa is."

After watching the film's trailer, above, we can't say we blame the poor girl. That Russian accent is ROUGH.

• Ha! The balls are the legs! He's walking with the balls! Jeez, why isn't Amy Sedaris more famous? (By the way, totally NSFW) [Queerty]

• "Christina Aguilera or Transvestite?" [CityRag]

• Mariah Carey demands bodyguards stand watch at bathrooms she uses. Gather from that what you may. [Yeeeah]

• Madge's adopted baby isn't hers again. [ICYDK]

• Mischa Barton now lives in Paris, where there's cheese and butter in everything. Take that, all you mean dipshits saying her legs and butt are "gross." [INO]

• So, that little kid on American Idol is unstoppable, huh? [PS]

• Paris is in London being a real Antwerp. (YES!) [DListed]

Scarlett Johansson wasted no time in debuting her engagement ring from fiancé Ryan Reynolds at last night's Costume Institute Gala at NYC's Metropolitan Museum of Art. Pretty much every celebrity you can imagine was in attendance (except for Reynolds), and 95 percent of the wardrobe choices made our heart cry.

Click through for more pictures than you could have ever asked for.

CONTINUED »

• Behold Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise is disgusted with you puny humans. Tom Cruise will laugh with glee when your blood stains the streets. [CityRag]

• "[Dina Lohan] has been named one of Long Island's top 20 moms by Mingling Moms." [DListed]

• Simon Cowell smokes Kools! [ICYDK]

• "If something’s cool and funky and I like it, it doesn’t matter how much it costs." -Vanessa Hudgens, role model [INO]

• Hey, everyone: Mischa Barton is a real woman with real legs. Get over it. [HT]

• Britney Spears recently took a private jet to Kentwood, Louisiana to attend her 17-year-old sister's baby shower. Smashing apart the class system is great.[Yeeeah]

NO TIME FOR MISCHA "Mischa Barton will escape doing time … by accepting a plea in her DUI case. People reports that she will plead no contest at her DUI arraignment this Thursday. In exchange, the weed possession charge has been dropped and the driving without a license charge has been reduced to an infraction. Mischa will pay a fine of $1,700, complete a three-month alcohol-education class and serve 3 years of unsupervised probation."

ALL IN ONE NIGHT? "Mischa Barton has been formally charged with driving under the influence, possession of 28.5 grams of marijuana (a misdemeanor) and being an unlicensed driver in connection with her arrest in West Hollywood on December 27, 2007."

• The littlest bodybuilder. [Queerty]

• [In the NBA Jam voice] He's on fire!!!!!! [NYT]

• Mariah's new single! Can you dig it? We can't! [PS]

• The Swimsuit Issue is back, and the models are mashing their breasts together better than ever before. [HT]

• Dare we say Amy Winehouse is looking healthier? [INO]

• Mischa Barton breaks the LA mold and goes out with dyed blond hair, giant sunglasses and a cutesy dress, and then she teats at The Ivy! Celebrities have such imagination. [ICYDK]

• Last night, our architect roommate who had entered this design competition was bitching about how absurd it was that "the blimp idea" wasn't eliminated immediately for being staggeringly unreasonable in the event of a disaster. Upon seeing this "blimp idea," we immediately knew he was right. [CityRag]

• Stop trying so hard, Gossip Girl. You're making us uncomfortable. [INO]

• Paris Hilton looks to have passed out in the driver's seat of a car. Wonderful! [CityRag]

• Mischa Barton has gone blond, possibly to hideout from the fuzz after her DUI arrest. [ICYDK]

• Jessica Alba says she wants her kid to be "really, really smart." No word on whether or not she wants to put in the time to make that happen. [DListed]

• Stills from Heidi Montag's video for "Higher" are finally here. Hurry! [HT]

• LOL, indeed. [PITNB]

• No more masculine musicals! They're oxymoronic and moronic. [DListed]

• Cigarettes and jet skis would be a good name for an electroclash band if anyone listened to electroclash anymore. [PS]

• It's time for the porn awards; also know as the Oscars for Victims of Sexual Abuse. [HT]

• Mischa Barton makes history and takes responsibility for her actions. [INO]

• YIKES: "Pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears has been dumped by boyfriend Casey Aldridge because he doubts he is the father…" [ICYDK]

• Madonna's bottled water is even more stupid than everyone else's bottled water. [Yeeeah]

• Vinyl records are exactly 87 percent cooler than MP3s. [CityRag]

• Are we having fun yet? [DListed]

• The updated bowl cut is the haircut of '08. We love it. [PS]

• Billy Zane and his lady friend recently took a swim. Billy Zane is bald and not trying to hide his head. Kudos to Billy Zane. [HT]

• Jessica Simpson is recording a country album, once again making us thankful we don't listen to nu country. [INO]

• Does a Lancôme ambassador have diplomatic immunity? [ICYDK]

• Recent DUI charge recipient Mischa Barton banned Paris Hilton from a party she was hosting because she doesn't want to be associated with the "party-girl scene." Ha! [Yeeeah]

• We think that's a kid hoisting a champagne flute! Oh, Italy! [CityRag]

Hollywood's latest scourge of the 101, Mischa Barton, will proceed with hosting duties at a New Year's Eve party in Las Vegas.

According a representative: "We are aware of Mischa Barton’s incident last night, but at present she is still expected to host the CatHouse Grand Opening at Luxor Las Vegas on December 29th. We will let you know if anything changes." (Hint: It will not change. "It" being much, much more than this lame-ass party. So much more.)