Sarah Palin's folksy shtick loses its charm pretty quickly when she's using it to tell you to go fuck yourself. And if you're a liberal woman, telling you to screw off she is:
At a rally on Saturday in California, Sarah Palin offered up a rather jarring argument for supporting the Republican ticket. "There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women," the Alaska Governor said, claiming she was quoting former Clinton Secretary of State Madeleine Albright.
The statement came after Palin had recounted [an experience at Starbucks] on Saturday: "I'm reading on my Starbucks mocha cup, okay? The quote of the day… It was Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State [crowd boos] and UN ambassador. … Now she said it, I didn't. She said, 'There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women.'"
As if basing her speeches off her mochas wasn't crazy enough, Palin prefaces the quote by saying it was "providential." See, God gave Palin that mocha cup so that she might better insult all the abortioning bitches standing in her way.
Ms Albright's quote is actually, "There's a special place in Hell reserved for women who don't help other women," which is completely different than what Palin said, but don't hold your breath waiting for tax-cheating Governor Palin to start worrying about accuracy.
Make the right decision in November, ladies, and then go to hell.
Video and Albright's response after the jump.
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Like two bees trapped in a jar, intelligent Republicans who know Sarah Palin is a terrible dolt and the crazed wackos still supporting the Alaskan governor are currently in a fight to the death. Let's stand on high like Romans watching the gladiators, shall we?
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BECAUSE THE WORLD HATES WOMEN Someone bravely sneaked up to actress Sienna Miller's home last night and spray-painted "slut" onto the front of it. Presumably this happened because Miller used her EVIL feminine wiles to capture a man who was once happily married, thus totally bringing this Hawthornian punishment on herself!
Just when I think Ice-T can't get any more offensive, he goes and compares his wife to a sports car. On a family game show. In front of his mother-in-law. Host Al Roker seemed surprisingly unfazed by the show of misogyny, though. The "Ice-T Family" competed against Joan Rivers and Co. on Celebrity Family Feud last night. The families play for charities — Ice-T's was a gang prevention program and Joan Rivers' was a charity that gives guide dogs to the blind. You don't have to watch until the end of the episode to know that a few blind people woke up in really good moods this morning.
The first topic was "something that's slippery and hard to hold onto." You know where this is going.
Earlier, when I equated the fashion industry with a deadly disease, did you think I was proselytizing a bit too much? Well, maybe I was (surprise!), but I wasn't wrong.
Take a look at yesterday's Times article on New York City's modeling scouts, and then tell me with a straight face that fashion and the ring of shitty predators in its orbit aren't ravaging young people, both directly and indirectly.
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You've got to hand it to jocks—they're very consistent bastards:
Yankee A-Rod drowned his sorrows over the team's loss to the birds last week at Baltimore's Hooters, and must have been so bummed that he dismissed a young fan who wanted his autograph.
"Excuse me, Mr. Rodriguez, may I please have your autograph?" the excited 10-year-old said to him.
The third baseman just mumbled, "Beat it."
He had two different words for the chesty waitress he bumped into as he left.
"Nice ass."
Judging by the absurdly nitpicky nature of the corrections made to The New York Times' retrospective on James Bond creator Ian Fleming – "… the article misstated the size of the large naval guns outside the museum. They are 15-inch guns, not 18-inch guns." – it's clear that people are a little nuts about Fleming's fake secret agent. Are we nuts; because we just don't get it. How has a series so overtly misogynistic maintained its cultural relevance throughout the decades?
Because our only goal in life is to right wrongs, today, we've decided to turn the tables and subject James Bond to the same piece-of-meat treatment he so often inflicts on his lady friends. Tell us, in your opinion, whose the second handsomest Bond? (Obviously, Sean Connery is the handsomest, so we didn't even include him.) We say it's Timothy Dalton, but we could be wrong. Anyone willing to say George Lazenby beats out Roger Moore? Anyone not think Connery is the clear victor?
MALE CRITICS BIASED AGAINST SATC? "As it turns out, Rotten Tomatoes presents 139 reviews, 69% of which are written by men. Only 49% of male critics wrote positive reviews while 51% panned 'Sex & The City.' Meanwhile, only 14 of the 40 female reviewers were negative about the box office sensation with 65% of women giving Carrie Bradshaw and friends the critical 'thumbs up.'"
If the theme song for Sex and the City: The Movie is any indication of the direction in which the film goes, count us out.
Mostly gone are the familiar, jazzy percussives of the television show's theme. They've been supplanted by overbearing electronicism, courtesy of human hump Fergie. And the lyrics! "Don't cry, buy a bag and get over it" is one; "I know that my credit card will help me put out the flames" is another. It's almost as if Sex and the City isn't really about empowering women the way its marketing says it is.
After the jump, hear all about how sad women should shop.
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Because it's what they do, the New York Post has compiled a list of the 50 best (their word) jokes of the last 12 months, a feat that accomplishes little more than to confirm everyone's assumptions: the Post can never be intentionally funny.
Of the greatest 50 quips in the world today, at least 40 are completely humorless and hackneyed, two or three are not jokes at all and seven mock either African Americans or women (four for the ladies and three for the blacks). All in all, we think the whole exercise was just the Post endorsing Obama in the only way it knows how.
"Jokes" are after the jump.
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As you may know, Rob Lowe, seen here ready to pounce, is in the middle of some sexy litigation. The Wayne's World star is suing a former nanny, claiming that she tried to extort $1.5 million from him by threatening a sexual harassment allegation. Lowe is now suing her for $1 million. Oddly, when police offered to investigate Lowe's charge of heinous extortion, he refused their services. And that's just the beginning of his cagey behavior.
Did anyone else catch this particularly poor layout decision in today's New York Times online edition? Nothing like some biting irony to complement one's bitter coffee on a lazy Sunday.
If you're not getting the joke, here's the definition of "hysteria" from the 1913 edition of Webster's dictionary:
A nervous affection, occurring almost exclusively in women, in which the emotional and reflex excitability is exaggerated, and the will power correspondingly diminished, so that the patient loses control over the emotions, becomes the victim of imaginary sensations, and often falls into paroxysm or fits.
Women: Capable, but absolutely BONKERS for purses!
GOD COMPLEXES Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis is profiled in the new issue of GQ. This is our favorite excerpt: "His enemies list has grown as he sits in jail, and it was recently expanded to include Access Hollywood reporter Maria Menounos, who did an interview Francis didn’t like. 'She called me the 'ever defiant Joe Francis,' ' he howls. 'Fuck yeah, I’m defiant! It’s like that defiant Rosa Parks won’t give up her seat. Fuck you, Maria. The ever defiant Nelson Mandela just can’t stand apartheid. The ever defiant Martin Luther King. The ever defiant Jesus Christ. You fucking stupid whore. If I saw Maria Menounos, I’d punch her in the face.'"
Look, ladies! It's the brand new bullshit that men in the fashion world, who would never subject themselves to such torture, are attempting to trick you into believing is attractive. ("You'll never land an i-banker if you're unwilling to prove to them that their attention is worth your mobility.")
They're only four grand. Go grab a pair, and then pray to whatever god you get behind that, after you get laughed out of the club, you aren't chased.
NO FAT CHICKS Actor John C Reilly and baby-faced thingie John Mayer partied together in New York on Wednesday. Fun! But the times were apparently not all good. A "spy" said, "There were about eight people, and only two girls, and they weren't attractive at all." Gasp! Because who wants to hang out with girls unless they're attractive? Especially a man as handsome as John C Reilly or John Mayer. (OH, totally j/k. What is wrong with people? Aren't you late for your rape trial, "spy"?)
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