America's Next Top Model's Miss J (Alexander) and Mister Jay (Manuel) are getting their own show, far, far away from that crazy monster known as Tyra Banks. The problem? The new show's premise has already been done before. Many, many times.
Here's the description of the new Operation Fabulous:
'Jay and J' (as Manuel and Alexander are called on Top Model) will travel the country giving women makeovers. In various towns, the duo will select five participants and give them Top Model-style overhauls — how to dress, wear their hair and makeup and bring out their confidence with the support of family, friends and their community.
Oh man, that show is awesome! Remember when it was called Tim Gunn's Guide to Style? Or How to Look Good Naked? Or What Not to Wear? Or Queer Eye For the Straight Guy?
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We've never made it through an episode of America's Next Top Model without being utterly appalled and flabbergasted, but last night's show took the cake. You see, Tyra thought it would be cute to throw the contestants a princess pizza party so she could have yet another opportunity to talk about herself. This led to Miss J creeping around the corner in a witch costume with "poisonous" apples and … well, we don't want to spoil it.
Click through for the scene, which starts at 2:00, and then skip ahead to 6:20 to meet the Good Fierce Witch. And yes it's as absurd as it sounds.
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "This is a transvestite. I'm sorry. But you're a beautiful tranny." — Paulina Porizkova, America's Next Top Model
Miss J, the fashionable double-threat to both the black and gay communities, has opened up his big, glossy mouth and spilled what could be a major spoiler for all the Next Top Model fans. The winner, lisped J to Page Six, is "extremely religious." Let's hope this isn't a red herring, because someone accustomed to being told "God hates gays" and "your husband gets to rule you" will probably prove to be less of lippy quibbler than, say, an agnostic, when told fix her fat ass.
Oh, you were "born to do this"? All this time I thought you were the result of a childhood riddled with drug abuse, brutal rapes, financial instability and shallow interactions with men. It's great to hear that those things had no impact on you. Now, just out of curiosity, what did your mother eat while pregnant with you?
After the jump, several more from the Heatherette show.
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