We almost spit out our breakfast this morning while coming across this picture. Yes, it's Britney Spears, and yes, it's recent (from the set of her latest video). It looks just like the 2002 version of Brit. Unbelievable. Anyway, the singer will debut the video for "Womanizer" (um, would you judge us if we said the song is kind of growing on us?) Friday night on 20/20. See what you've done, MTV? You canceled TRL and now pop stars are forced to take their music videos to Diane Sawyer.
Time to distract ourselves from the sad state of America yet again: There's a Hills love triangle! Way more important than that stupid bailout.
So Audrina moved out of the house she shared with Lauren and Lo, and nobody really knew why, but A and LC insisted they were still on good terms. Enter Ted Casablanca, quite possibly the world's worst gossip, who decided to spin a tale of Audrina and Lauren fighting over the same man. Believable enough … until he decided to make the Casanova none other than Justin Bobby, the knowledgeable hobo who occasionally creeps onto the show and pretends to like Audrina for some camera time. We love him because he regularly spits out nuggets of wisdom like, "Truth and time tells all." Lauren, however, does not enjoy him.
Ted, who is much like a child making up a bedtime story, said that Lauren and Justin Bobby hooked up behind Audrina's back, but JB later spilled the beans while LC denied it. Don't believe Ted? Here's proof: The girls removed each other from their MySpace top friends. Gasp!
Oh wait, hold the phone: Ted just changed his mind: CONTINUED »
Can you believe we actually suffered through Paris Hilton's My New BFF last night? And — even crazier than that — we didn't feel the urge to stab ourselves in the eyes? We realized that once you sit through A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, you can sit through anything.
Anyway, the contestant who makes this show bearable is Onch, a jewelry designer from Hacienda Heights, Calif. Onch's favorite color is rainbow (seriously) and prefers the term "pomp" over "fabulous." Also? Onch is a male. Some of the contestants confused him for a girl at first, which was kind of awesome, but we don't even look at Onch as any specific gender. He's just kind of … there. It's weird. Onch wore a beautiful necklace last night made out of rainbow pretzels and was just magnificently entertaining throughout the entire hour of horrible television. We did some research, and it turns out this lovely being has already been in a feud with Chris Crocker, so you know he's just a tiny train wreck waiting to crash.
Onch, 1; the rest of those losers, 0.
If anyone doesn't want to talk politics, I'm offering a different alternative: Let's discuss The Hills in depth, shall we? For the three of you who didn't run back to the Palin posts, let's proceed. Last night's episode was fairly awesome thanks to Darlene Montag, the woman who birthed and raised the nightmare we know as Heidi. Darlene suffered through a one-on-one lunch with devilish Spencer, who was a complete and total ass to her ("I don't get uncomfortable, my dear") and then cried real tears for her lost cause of a daughter, claiming that Spence is the biggest d-bag that ever lived.
Except, you know, it was all fake. First off, Darlene showed up in this episode to "surprise" Heidi for her birthday. Heidi's birthday is Sept. 15. Darlene claimed she hadn't seen Heidi in months and had no idea she was living with Spencer. Please. It's not like she hasn't DVR'd every episode of The Hills and cut out each cheesy tabloid spread featuring Speidi to tape to her refrigerator. Also? If Darlene just showed up two weeks ago, how does she explain this, the photo shoot she had with Speidi and Joe Francis in early August?
Methinks this desperate need for the MTV cameras' attention runs in the family.
You have to hand it to Lindsay Lohan: The girl is persistent. After sending a text to Debbie Phelps in which she claimed Michael was "f–king amazing," LiLo attempted to appear with him onstage at the MTV VMAs. (Um, hello? Samantha Ronson?) There was one small problem: Disney brat Miley Cyrus also wanted in on the Phelps love, according to a source who introduced a new vocabulary word.
It was nightmate. Both Lindsay and Miley were wildly excited at the prospect of waltzing on-stage with Michael, so producers proposed draping one on each arm — but the girls did not want to be with each other and neither would back down!
It was nightmate?! Wow, this is worse than we thought. Of course, as we all saw, Michael did his bit alone, sans any annoying starlets. Nightmate averted.
Just when you thought MTV couldn't become more of a soulless corporation without transforming into subplot fodder for a John Grisham novel, the former hipness barometer outdid itself in one week by:
1) Canceling TRL, and with it the last shred of reasoning behind calling the Viacom subsidiary a music station.
2) Signing a contract that would allow them to stay at their Times Square location (that really only made sense to inhabit when TRL was on the air) with a $35-per-square-foot rent increase.
3) Destroying the rainforest for the sake of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge show that no one knew was still on the air:
Audrina Patridge, the Hills hanger-on whose eyes are constantly looking up in the sky, is reportedly moving out of the house she shares with co-stars Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth — moving trucks were even spotted in front of her guest house Thursday. Rumors started flying that MTV planned to give Audrina a spin-off in light of news she was cast in the upcoming horror flick Sorority Row, but thankfully those were untrue.
But this still leaves us with an empty guesthouse in The Hills' main residence, so we've decided to play a game: Who should take Audrina's place? (Our votes: Justin Bobby or Kelly Cutrone.)
[Source]
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "Why are the camels yelling at me?" — Bjorn, Exiled
Last night on The Hills, the Chucky doll-ish Spencer Pratt schooled viewers on how to be a functioning adult who behaves appropriately. Upon hearing that his girlfriend/robot's sister, Holly, wants to spend time with mortal enemy Lauren Conrad, Spencer gives a death glare and then pulls out the "As long as you're living under my roof…" argument, complete with his big word of the day, "fraternizing." He also shows off his fantastic passive-aggressiveness with a sarcastic comment about how Lauren is "really cool." When none of those tactics work, he stomps off to throw a tantrum in his room. Well played, Spence. Well played. (Scene at 0:45.)
MTV's Total Request Live, the music video countdown show that seemed really amazing back in 1998 and then rapidly became worse as everyone grew older, will go off the air in November.
The show's 10-year run will end in a two-hour Saturday afternoon special. But don't cry yet: TRL's executive producer promised the show isn't ending for good — it's simply taking a break. Perhaps when the show returns it could be, oh, we don't know … filmed live? Instead of on a Monday morning? And it could focus on an actual countdown, like the premise suggests? Yikes, we sound old.
[Source]
The ridiculous and accidental blockbuster popularity of MTV's Laguna Beach brought us The Hills, that reality show showcasing the lives of girls now too famous and wealthy to actually be the fictional versions they play on TV. And now that The Hills has performed the insurmountable task of keeping MTV semi-relevant, everybody else wants in. That's why Bravo is hunting for their own set of privileged West Coast youth and a production company is shooting a D.C. version as we speak. Even MTV, then, wants more of the magic. Enter The City, MTV's New York-based off-shoot of the show. Whereas The Hills took a group of pretty ladies from no-name status to insta-brands, The City will start off with a set of semi-known girls. Among them:
Lil' Wayne, who gave one of the more memorable VMA performances this weekend thanks to his inability to keep his pants on, seems to be quite the diva: The troubled rapper, who has a history of run-ins with the law that doesn't quite rival that of DMX, reportedly refused to take the stage at Friday night's "Fashion Rocks" event because he didn't want his bag checked by security. So he bailed, which then led to him changing his mind and being a pain in the ass for the rest of the night.
Click through for the full entertaining story, as told by a senior production staffer.
Despite the fact that most Americans have no idea who he is, Russell Brand was a great host for the MTV VMAs because he got people talking. True, it was at the expense of the Jonas Brothers, but that's OK because Brand kinda sorta apologized but not really:
I feel a bit bad that I kept talking about their vows to chastity, and I’d like to take this opportunity to say: No one ever have sex again. It’s a mad idea. What a crazy way to spend an evening.
Other post-show gems include his theory that Lil Wayne is from another world and "he has a message for us all." Perhaps that message has something to do with pants.
[Source]
While MTV spends Fashion Week taping the New York The Hills spin-off, there's a little production going on in the nation's capital. As we told you last month, a Washington D.C. version of the show is underway, but not from MTV.
We can only hope that after this photo was taken Britney Spears told the Jonas Brothers to run for their lives. If there's anything interesting about the VMAs, it's the interactions behind the scenes between stars who would normally never speak to each other. For more audience and backstage photos, click through. CONTINUED »
The MTV VMAs are finally upon us, and I don't mind being the only one to admit that I'll be watching them from home tonight with my cat and perhaps a cupcake or two. This is good news for you, dear readers, because you can have a life and skip the circus while I liveblog the entire fiasco for your enjoyment. And if you do end up watching, you can suffer right along with me. CONTINUED »
It's about time a Britney stalker captured footage of the singer rehearsing for either her VMA non-performance or an upcoming tour. We're hoping it's the former, because she looks surprisingly awesome and it would be great progress to triumphantly return to the same stage where just one year ago she publicly humiliated herself. The dancing is great, the song sounds acceptable and her body looks as good as it did pre-babies. Her hair, of course, could use the magic of Ken Paves, but there's still time.
Kanye West decided to lay off the MacBook Air just in time for the MTV VMAs, despite the fact that he promised last year he would never be returning to the show. If you forgot his glorious meltdown, we brought back the YouTube video, at left. Anyway, after screaming "F–k MTV!" and vowing never to return, Kanye announced that he would be performing at the end of Sunday night's show. Wow, Kanye. You really showed them.
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