Jessica Simpson's trek into the world of country music hasn't been easy, and it's not looking to get any better any time soon, if critics' reviews of her tour are to be believed. According to one reviewer who attended her concert in Canada this week, the show was "bizarre and often frustrating," which nicely sums up how we feel about Jess in general.
It might be unfair calling Jessica Simpson's show at the Avalon Ballroom Wednesday a train wreck — at some point, a train knows where it's going. [She is] still living in a reality show, convinced everyone is so fascinated with her personal life, they'd rather hear her talk than sing.
Well, we're rather hear her be silent. But to each his own.
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After the hoopla surrounding last weekend's bizarre K-Ci and JoJo concert — in which JoJo collapsed on stage and nobody bothered to pick him up — K-Ci took to the airwaves to defend his brother and refute all those "ridiculous" drug claims.
See, the reason his brother passed out on stage after repeatedly acting like a crazy person was because he suffers from epilepsy. Fair enough — let's pack it up and call it a day, shall we? Oh, you want to keep talking? Well in that case, you're digging your own hole.
K-Ci says that Jesus decided JoJo needed to pass out mid-concert, and nobody can argue with God. Also? He hates Bill Gates for inventing the computer. And if you're still questioning his sobriety after those perfectly sane statements, he denies the rumors of drug use: "All that cocaine stuff man — I don't even know how to spell cocaine man, you feel me? I don't even drink Coca-Cola cause it say 'coke.'"
Well, that should clear everything up.
Ed Robertson is the frontman of Barenaked Ladies, which means he is at least partly responsible for that "One Week" song that ruined the entire year of 1998. That doesn't explain why he seems to be one of God's chosen children; Robertson's private plane crashed in Canada yesterday afternoon and all four passengers managed to walk off unharmed.
'There’s not a scratch on any of them,' said the source. Another source who asked to remain anonymous said it was obvious something was very wrong today.
MCCAIN CAMPAIGN SORTA PEEVED ABOUT HITLER COMPARISON "John McCain's campaign hit back at Madonna on Sunday after the pop diva kicked off her world tour with a concert that bracketed the US presidential candidate with Adolf Hitler. McCain campaign spokesman Tucker Bounds angrily condemned the segment of Madonna's concert in Cardiff on Saturday that appeared to draw a comparison between McCain, Hitler and Zimbabwean strongman Robert Mugabe. 'The comparisons are outrageous, unacceptable and crudely divisive all at the same time,' Bounds said in a statement reported by Fox News. … Madonna's apparent swipe at McCain came during a performance of the song 'Get Stupid', when the Republican contender's image was flashed up alongside images of destruction and global warming as well as Hitler and Mugabe."
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? "American Idol is adding a fourth judge: Grammy-nominated songwriter Kara DioGuardi. DioGuardi will appear at the judges' table with Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson on the eighth season of the hit show, which premieres in January."
K-Ci and JoJo spent their weekend reminding the world that they're still around by putting on quite a show in Sydney, where the boys acted like cracked out crazies by forgetting lyrics, plopping down on the floor for no good reason and walking offstage mid-song. The duo then treated concert goers to a rousing rendition of their once-popular song "All My Life," complete with JoJo collapsing in the middle of the stage (around the 1:50 mark). Things got even more bizarre when the duo's bodyguard strolled over to pick up the microphone … but left JoJo unconscious on the floor.
The reason for their antics, according to trustworthy K-Ci? They were tired from a 24-hour flight.
Now, usually we love multimedia art and progressive politics, but leave it up to increasingly annoying legend Madonna to combine the two in such a ham-handed, pointy-breasted way that it makes us shake our heads, sigh and reconsider our views on censorship.
Madonna, who turned 50 this month, kicked off her Sticky & Sweet Tour on Saturday night at Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, Wales. The BBC reported that the two-hour show took a political turn when, in a lead-in to a remixed version of “Like a Prayer,” a video sequence showed flashing images of destruction followed by pictures of Hitler, Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe and then Senator John McCain.
Later, footage of Barack Obama was interspersed among images of Gandhi and John Lennon.
Madonna kicked off her Sticky and Sweet world tour over the weekend, and, as expected, the show was filled with crotch shots and ill-advised outfit choices. We're not sure what her obsession is with constantly showing off her lady business, but maybe by the time the tour's over we will have figured it out.
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Actor and demanding ladies man Terrence Howard is now also a singer, and he's already made a video for his debut single, a soft little number entitled "Sanctuary." Ambitious probably describes the project best, what with the violin strains and delicate French horn blares. At one point, Howard even grabs a maestro's baton and conducts his sound stage full of backing musicians, most of whom are ostensibly much more talented than himself. Weird!
Check it out for yourself and see if you can explain what's up with all the hats.
Fun fact: I'm pretty sure that one time, years ago, when I lived in LA, I got drunk on 40s with the drummer in this video and helped him protect his girlfriend's honor in a minor scuffle with a bunch of meatheads wearing shirts that read, "Show me your tits."
After much speculation, inside sources are confirming that Britney Spears will once again grace the stage of the MTV Video Music Awards on Sept. 7. According to friends, Brit is extremely focused this time around and wants to be taken seriously:
She is as nervous as hell but at the same time itching to get back in front of the same audience where she screwed up so badly last time. It is the perfect platform for her to announce to her fans and the world that the dark days are behind her and she’s back on track with her life and her career. She really wants to do this, despite the jitters.
We're not quite on board with this idea — she should really be taking baby steps — but MTV would be insane to not jump on this publicity opportunity. Americans love seeing comebacks, but even more than that they love seeing someone fail miserably. Win-win.
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It's good to see Amy Winehouse's handlers are still allowing the near-death singer to perform in public, despite the fact that she very clearly needs an intervention and some sort of medical treatment. Amy was looking as terrible as usual over the weekend while she sang at the UK's V Festival, but that didn't stop her from miraculously making it through the performance in one piece.
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WE ABHOR VIOLENCE, BUT… "In our hyperreal media multiverse, it's getting harder to stick with metaphor while communicating the desire to kick someone's ass. So indie-hoppers East Coast Avengers have foregone pretense entirely and released a single called 'Kill Bill O'Reilly.'"
Dave Coulier must be a really great actor, because he managed to make Full House's Uncle Joey come across as friendly and likable — the complete opposite of Coulier's real personality. One of our readers had quite an unpleasant experience with him while he was engaged to her cousin, but the most public indicator of Dave's obnoxiousness came in the form of ex-girlfriend Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know."
Dave said the first time he heard the song he thought, "Wow this girl is angry." You think? And then: "I think I have really hurt this person." Genius, this guy.
I tried to contact her and I finally got a hold of her. And at the same time, the press was calling and saying, 'You want to comment on this song?' I called her and I said, 'Hi. Uh, what do you want me to say?' And she said, 'You can say whatever you want.' We saw each other and hung out for an entire day. And it was beautiful. It was one of those things where it was kind of like, 'We're good.'
Look buddy, just because Alanis forgave you for being an ass doesn't mean we have to like you. She's a better person than the rest of us.
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MORE REASONS TO LOVE NY "The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is coming to New York. The Cleveland-based museum is opening an annex in SoHo featuring … memorabilia from New York's storied rock history."
So at the moment there's all this buzz about Britney Spears getting her life back on track, and the pop star even put that traumatizing VMA performance in the past by filming a promo for this year's MTV awards show. She reportedly shot the ad-libbed commercial this week in Hollywood with host Russell Brand and a 9,000-pound "elephant in the room." Clever.
But can we just take a moment to reflect on how far she's truly fallen? In a mere seven years, one of the most famous artists of our time went from performing a near-perfect routine to close out the 2001 VMAs to being the laughing stock of the industry.
We miss the old Brit.
It's been a while since we've visited one of the many great loves of my life, Jason Castro. The former American Idol contestant is still out on tour with the rest of the cast and has been in NYC for the past few days unbeknownst to me. This video was filmed last night on the Idol tour bus before Jason took the stage. It's good to see he hasn't lost his ability to appear high at all times.
Spoiler alert: Sketches have been released featuring costumes for Madonna's upcoming world tour. The good news: They all actually qualify as outfits — albeit tacky outfits. The bad news: She's going to look like The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come for a portion of the show. With her lovely not-at-all-surgically-altered face, that's going to be a great visual.
Mariah Carey graced the stage wearing her best 12-year-old hooker outfit during last night's broadcast of the Teen Choice Awards. There's rollerskating, notes that can only be heard by dogs, and lots of backup dancer-assisted walking. You know, Mariah probably wouldn't need help if she didn't insist on wearing shoes you could find at Strippers R Us.
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