Steve-O, who actually seems to be making a genuine effort to get his life back together, took to his MySpace blog to give details on his road to recovery. Specifically, he's going to "the looney bin," as he puts it, because his "brain is f–ked up." We won't argue there, especially after he lists all of the substances he's taken during his lifetime. It's a sad day when we wish Amy Winehouse would take notes from someone like Steve-O, but that's the thing about celebrities: They keep us on our toes.
His full — and surprisingly readable — blog post, after the jump.
Someone made the mistake of telling Jessica Biel that people are interested in what she has to say, because the actress took to MySpace to begin her foray into blogging. Lucky for us, People was sure to report on Jessica's Internet debut in the most condescending way possible: "She adds: 'Plus, I only have four friends and am in dire need of more. Just kidding, I have six.' (Actually, she has three, according to her private profile.)" Ooh, burn.
But the most exciting part of reading celebrity MySpace rants is definitely the comments section, which always attracts the creepy Internet predators. Jess can give herself a pat on the back, because she earned the love of Bill, a 62-year-old male who really has no business being on MySpace, much less trolling the blogs of young actresses. We wouldn't have picked on Bill, but he made the mistake of confessing his love for her and then saying, "This is my first ever comment on a Blog and it was a pleasure to do this on yours." Good luck with your stint in jail, Bill.
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Brooke Hogan can never stay away from MySpace for too long. America's favorite writer has taken a break from defending her worthless brother Nick to remind everyone that she is very famous and in-demand. Which would explain why she's begging people via MySpace to book events. According to the post, "Brooke's schedule fills up quickly," so act now! We're considering making up a fake event and booking Brooke just for the hell of it. CONTINUED »
Unsuccessful in their attempts to garner public sympathy via MySpace and Larry King Live, the Hogans are now making public threatening messages that the family believes are from Frank Graziano, the brother of the man left in a vegetative state after getting in the car with Nick.
Sure, the messages are cause for concern, but they were played on the radio this morning by host Bubba the Love Sponge, who just so happens to be a close Hogan family friend. This is obviously more of a publicity issue than it is about safety.
Also? We can guarantee the culprit isn't a member of the Graziano clan. The mystery man threatened to piss on the family's grave — it's obviously Sam Lutfi. Case closed.
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It's a sad day when a love connection from Rock of Love lasts longer than relationships from The Bachelor, but nothing surprises us anymore. Recent winner (loser?) of Bret Michaels' heart Ambre Lake took to her MySpace to clear up recent allegations that runner-up Daisy made implying she had come between the couple:
Listen, yes, Bret and I are definitely still dating. Daisy has no involvement with Bret and my relationship, therefore there is no validity to her statement. … And listen, there’s no ill will against Daisy. Everybody has the right to their own opinion.
All listening aside, it makes us sad that a Rock of Love contestant has one of the most coherent MySpace blogs we've seen as of late.
I figured it was time for a Jason Castro update, so I went digging and found some adorable pictures posted by his younger sister and a new MySpace blog entry, written by Dreads himself. The spelling and grammar make me cringe, but I expect nothing less from my favorite Idol contestant ever.
The blog entry and more adorable pictures, after the jump. CONTINUED »
Unfortunately for us, Brooke Hogan has yet to write another award-winning MySpace rant, but she is still giving ill-advised interviews in which she lets us in on the Hogan family drama. Nick has been given the week off, as the current topic is mother Linda and her 19-year-old boyfriend.
I’m totally freaked out. I personally don’t like it at all or condone it, but she’s my mom, so I have to show her support. … I went to school with [my mom's new boyfriend]. He was a grade under me. Me and Nick know him well. Me and Nick are two years apart, and he was right between us (in school).
I thought we were one of the normal Hollywood families. It's crazy watching it all fall apart, but I hope for the best.
You know what doesn't help your situation, Brooke? Speaking to the media about concerns you should be sharing with your family. We can start with that. Next week, self-awareness.
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It's time for the most important news of the day: The biggest diva in Hollywood, Sean Combs, has "officially" (meaning he made an announcement via MySpace) changed his name back to Puff Daddy. No more Diddy or P. Diddy or Puffy or Diddles.
'They call me Puff Daddy… he's back,' the mogul raps on the remix of O'Neal McKnight's single 'Check Your Coat.' (McKnight is Combs' former stylist.)
'Yeah you heard me right – I said Puff Daddy,' he continues. 'I'm about to back on that Puff Daddy sh*t.'
Combs also posted on his MySpace page: 'This is your boy Puff Daddy!!! Yes Puff Daddy.'
Seriously, we can't keep up.
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There was another Hogan car accident over the weekend, this time involving Brooke, everyone's favorite MySpace author. The wreck was not Brooke's fault, and she and her passenger walked away with no injuries. Thank God, because can you imagine the world with one less Hogan to spew nonsense?
To make sense of everything, Brooke took to the Internet with a new blog post — that has since been removed — thanking her jailbird brother and his passenger who has been in a coma since Nick's fateful car accident, because their mistakes saved her life. Well, at least the passenger has that to keep him going.
You can read the entire thing after the jump.
Good news, everyone: Paris Hilton's new reality show has started production, and nobody has died yet. The heiress posted a new MySpace bulletin to tell us how "cool" and "fun" the whole process has been so far. She also proudly mentions that this show had more applicants than any other in history, proving that she just doesn't get the joke. At all.
For all three people who subject themselves to A Shot at Chlamydia with Tila Tequila every week, you might remember Chad, the same guy who was recently quoted in our prestigious Reality Bytes for his eloquent speech against gay marriage.
Well, Chad got himself into a little trouble on the show this week when he headbutted a fellow contestant, followed by a couple extra punches in the face for good measure. Naturally, he has taken to his MySpace to clear the air with what will surely be looked back upon as one of the century's greatest essays.
Brooke Hogan's latest MySpace rant (which has since been removed) was obviously not the ramblings of a perfectly sane person, and sources close to the Hogan family are convinced she is headed toward an emotional breakdown. Apparently her parents' divorce and brother's sentencing have gotten the best of her and "she just can't keep it together." Gee, you think?
In other family news, Hulk and Linda presented a united front at Nick's court hearing earlier this month (Linda even wore her wedding ring), but it was all an act to show support for their son. That shouldn't surprise anybody, because Hulk has based his entire career on acting, especially as of late — he even admitted that Hogan Knows Best was scripted (gasp!) and he was wary of the entire idea from the beginning:
I was offered lots of [reality] shows when I was making my career comeback against The Rock, but I kept saying no. But years later, it was my daughter’s career and son’s racing career that we were thinking about.
We saw the Ashlee Simpson show and Jessica Simpson’s and Lindsay Lohan on the big screen and we just didn’t haven’t a vehicle to compete. But I considered it, because this time it was about the Hogan family rather than Hulk Hogan; they all wanted to do it and I tried to warn them about what they were in for. Now look what happened.
The point where everything went downhill can be debated, but we believe it happened when Hulk tried to base his family's life on that of the Simpsons.
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MYSPACE DEFRIENDED BY FACEBOOK? "News Corp. executives worked Wednesday to bolster investor confidence for MySpace, the online social network it won praise for buying in 2005 but lately has attracted concern from Wall Street. Chief Operating Officer Peter Chernin acknowledged that Fox Interactive Media, which includes MySpace, would fall 10% short of revenue projections for the fiscal year."
Paris Hilton's new MySpace rant — in which she rambles about being on tour with Good Charlotte and South Africa and such as — has attracted responses from classy 13-year-olds and old men who prowl the Internet looking for sex. Enter our new favorite sexual predator, Ronald (at right):
Hi Ms Hilton. sounds like you are have alot of fun. if any of your g/f's need an older guy as a boyfriend or just a guy to pal around with, I am available. LOL.
Sounds like a mass murderer to us, in which case we can only hope she gets back to him.
Paris' full MySpace bulletin, complete with smileys and double exclamation marks, after the jump. CONTINUED »
Chris Crocker has developed quite an ego these days. The lone Britney fan reportedly posted a MySpace bulletin lashing out at Oh No They Didn't's lack of Crocker coverage, calling it discrimination: "I guess being legitimate doesn't count for much on gossip blogs," he says, pointing out that being legitimate means he appeared in cartoon form on the latest episode of South Park.
Receiving an award from Cosmo appears to be some sort of honor, hence the gathering of the magazine's "fun fearless males" today in New York City.
The group included the likes of John Mayer, Dane Cook, Common, John Krasinski, Tony Romo and Tom from MySpace. We're sure there was some great conversation among Tony, Dane and Mr. Mayer.
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Remember those million dollar shoes we showed you Friday? Well, the price tag came as a shock to Juno writer Diablo Cody, who took to her MySpace page to clear the air:
I must have somehow missed the part where my shoes cost a MILLION F**KING DOLLARS and my 'choice' of footwear would be publicized nationwide. I honestly thought they were just sparkly shoes.
I'm flattered that they picked me (surprise!) to wear the Pimp Shooz… [but] I'm actually really p**sed about this… They're using me to publicize their stupid shoes and NOBODY ASKED ME. I would never consent to a lame publicity stunt at a time when I already want to hide.
Diablo sported gold ballet flats on the red carpet before her big Oscar win for best original screenplay. We tend to agree that the thought of spending a million dollars to craft a pair of shoes seems ridiculous, but this whole thing just reeks of "publicity stunt."
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The new issue of Blender features a Britney Spears cover photo that we can immediately tell is fake. Just to be sure, however, Blender confirmed the picture was a composite: "That, sadly, is not [Britney's] body." Well, we didn't see any Cheetos residue on her fingers, so that was a dead giveaway.
Inside, the mag launches into a detailed account as to how America's sweetheart turned into a tabloid disaster. We've heard most of this before, but the most disturbing portion of the article focuses on Sam Lutfi, Britney's trusted "confidante" and only friend.
Danny Haines, who now has a restraining order against Lutfi, talked to Blender about his former relationship with Britney's right-hand man. Throughout their friendship, which began on MySpace (like all solid, stable relationships do), Lutfi exhibited the rumored behavior that makes everyone else so nervous about his role in Britney's life.
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