• 50 Cent is going to interview Paris Hilton for some MySpace commercial disguised as journalism. Let's hope the notorious racist doesn't call him a nigger to his face. And if she does, let's hope he cares. [SH]
• Pretty sure Gwyneth Paltrow is seen here wearing what the kids call locs. Awesome! [DListed]
• Rachel Bilson's passport photo shoot finds her looking better than ever. At least she looks like a woman and not a victim. [HT]
• Go ahead and dress lie Catherine Zeta-Jones; just promise not to also be a calloused snake like her. [INO]
• Johnny Depp would like to be considered for the lead in Tim Burton's remake of Alice in Wonderland. Yes: Alice. Shark jumped. [ICYDK]
• New day, new Britney Spears diagnosis. [Yeeeah]
• She's finally given up, then? We thought she would never learn. [EBG]
• Margaret Cho won't cross the picket lines for BFF Ellen DeGeneres. Yay, principles! [Queerty]
Sunday's 60 Minutes profile of FaceSpace wunderkind Mark Zuckerberg drew a season-low number of viewers, about five million less than average. Jossip's take on the downturn: "Young people don’t watch old people TV."
And that may be, but don't the numbers also indicate that old people don't like to watch young people on TV? Regardless of whether or not said young people are partially responsible for the phenomenon of cutely-named, oddly-hyped social-networking sites? And doesn't this in some way augur an eventual inverse relationship between the year and the membership of current social-networking sites; with aging twentysomethings finding them too juvenile and the young and technologically savvy finding them too passé?
Perhaps the billionaire investors staking claims on these sites should take their noses out of the Journal and spend some time with the idiot box.
Do you recognize the fragile ball of "misunderstood" on the left?
CONTINUED »
To the salon, men who condition: Selma Blair is back on the market after splitting with boyfriend Matthew Felker, the male model oracle who once proffered this wisdom in his MySpace blog:
It's time once again for Barbara Walters' ossified, inaptly named annual countdown, The 10 Most Fascinating People.
Walters' definition of fascinating still seems to mean nothing more than "rich and famous," as the list includes Katherine Heigl ("because this has been her year"), the Beckhams ("Victoria and Posh") and "the two guys from MySpace, who have never done anything before."
In case you could not tell, also fascinating is Barb's complete lack of interest in remembering pertinent details about her interview subjects.
Damning testimony in Page Six claims MySpace celebrity, VH1 oddity and abominable human being Tila Tequila is also a deceiver, toying with the hearts of the men and women vying for her love on her reality show, A Shot at Love.
Post sources say, for over a year, Tequila has been in a relationship with a man whom she has no plans of leaving, and they assert she's not even a bisexual but instead a straight woman!
On top of all that, people say she's a real pain in the ass on-set.
Counterpoint: "A rep for Tequila said, 'I'll confirm that she's bisexual and she's a delight to work with.'" Confirm away! Then put it on her MySpace.
It's an interesting thing how Courtney Love's appearance will fluctuate from demure to batshit to anywhere in between and yet her mental faculties remain so decrepit. Try to parse this gem from her latest illiterate ramble:
all i can say is ive seen it happen so many times fuck with me as litmus?
i dont know why it sjust a real bad streak seems to come peoples way, eitehr immediatly or eventually/im this case i let it go and letthe universe do the work.
so onto LESBIANS viva! contracts that i write zAnd create and if not obeyed there are built in penalties.if ethics are breached then i automcatrucally get to take money from your account tp the amount you took from me and its all legal.
Terrible as that is, the idiot fans are worse!
CONTINUED »
Here is the Owen Wilson interview we previously told you about. The video, which premiered on MySpace last night at midnight, is the first interview the actor has done following his suicide attempt. Completely avoided: The suicide attempt. Instead, Wilson laments about what a bummer it is to get shots. So true.
What awesome power the internets has: Owen Wilson's first interview post-suicide attempt has ducked all the arthritic trying of Barbara Walters and will be broadcast on MySpace at midnight tonight. Wilson's good friend and longtime collaborator Wes Anderson is interviewing him, meaning the exchange will be boring and toothless, devoid of all questions about the wrist slashing. Yet another reason to not go to MySpace.
[Source]
While this cartoon accurately portrays my feelings about Facebook and other social networking sites, it doesn't accurately portray my behavior. Pathetic, indeed, but I'm trying to quit. How about you? Brother blog Jossip wants your take on the 'book and how deep your addiction runs. The answers you provide will be completely anonymous, meaning only you will know the shameful amount of importance you place on the "Relationship Status" setting. Take the survey here.
In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day—using 17 syllables or less—you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku winner is LDT:
Mommy, look at me!
Your starlet, celebrity…
Satisfied yet, Mom?
What it lacked in subtlety it made up for in uninhibited rage. Well done, LDT.
New one after the jump.
Directly from Ms Courtney Love's MySpace blog ([sic] as hell, obviously):
we were doing our hair( thew girls) way up in that ugly crazy building and couyld seeyou all for blocks, it was wild-= i told my peeps top go get bvoys wiuth skateboards and giurls whow ere into stefani, no offense to truyew fans i just felt like a challenge- if someone sreally into stefani to me that says they dontw anta nty trouble in thoe rlives, want very mucbh to be p[opular abnd accepted, wnatto be trendy but niot dangerous, and the idea of forcin gthat waznna be popular girl to face the fear cdoes somethin for me./plus im startinga clotyhing line this year too, just higher end and the lowerr end wont be about a font. i wouldbnt do that iu fond that crass somehow= a sportsac ten times the prio ce because it has ther same cuddle bear sweeetoe pie sign off that Rossdale used to sign hios letters to me with in a Times Courier font ? maybve its me, i know perfeume has a 800 -1200% profit markup so if one "brands" oneself well enough one can cash it in big an d hard by selling a perfume wethe rone gioves a shot about the smell opr not- kudos to madge for forgoinmg that , because nop way hads she not been asked. L.A.M.B. heh, well look its not fo rme to judge- im far mior eonteretsed in amazin g lingerie enyways and if i design a bag itll be fabulous
This is a perfect example of why punk's dead. Punk's dead because anti-establishment idiots like Courtney Love put themselves in the spotlight and write this: "forcin gthat waznna be popular girl to face the fear cdoes somethin for me./" In turn, the establishment goes, "Well, you're an almost brain dead 43-year-old who can't write a complete sentence—we're glad you're not on our side." Thus, the wannabe popular girls rarely face "the fear." And what of the girls smart enough to be anti-establishment when they're young? They become so overrun with the popular girls that they get jaded and depressed and become alcoholics. Vicious cycle!
Yesterday Paris Hilton took the time to wish her fans a very safe and happy Independence Day, writing on her MySpace blog, "…remember to be responsible and have a designated driver! Just looking out for you all. I love you and have an amazing summer!" While it's difficult to believe that this sort of behavior will continue, and while it is a very, very small gesture, could this in fact be the new and improved Paris Hilton? Could she finally be dropping the careless bitch routine and accepting her responsibility to the misguided children that ignorantly look up to her? Until she proves otherwise—kissing boys on vacation doesn't count as a backslide—you should probably give her the benefit of the doubt.
In the mean time, it's still OK hate her fans, who write things like this: "happy fourth to you too paris. glade to see you are safe now. i now it was scary in jail and i would never of made it you r so strong. keep up the good work loves ya bitch." OMG. FU.
• Was Seacrest a party pooper? [BWE]
• Finally, a political candidate that's actually remarkably worse than ours. [DListed]
• Here's what happens when you're famous and you marry a "normal" guy. [ICYDK]
• Britney making you beg for a return to the wigs. [Yeeeah]
• Zahara's quickly beating out Brad in the cuteness contests. [CityRag]
• Diana Ross is getting upset! [SH]
• No more MySpace for the GIs. [Jossip]
• Live action Super Mario? Genius. [BWE]
• What do you buy that girl that costs 50 mill? [TMZ]
• TMZ called Shawn Carter "Jigga Man" even when they thought his plane went down. That's not exactly what this story is about, but I thought I should mention that. [DListed]
• MySpace feuds are the new slap fight. [IDLYITW]
• Jessica Biel in Elle. [Glitterati]
• Yet another baby afraid of words—this one's so scared they wrote a book about it. [SH]
• "More doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette." Well, in that case… [CityRag]
• If it's considered profane for a woman to grab her crotch while shouting "Eat me!" it's not a party worth attending. [Yeeeah]
• Young Hollywood kitten fight! [HT]
• Let's fight misogyny with censorship! Perfect solution! [SH]
• Scary Spice names her baby after Eddie in a preemptive strike! [ICYDK]
• "Extremely tight schedule" forces Alec Baldwin to duck daughter questions. [Jossip]
• That MySpace blog post really was Paris Hilton's phone number. Leave it up to these idiots to make MySpace completely classless. [ASL]
Some amazing egghead hacked into Lindsay Lohan's MySpace, and he's unleashed his findings on the world. Among some bland minutia like party invites from Shanna Barker (nee Moakler), there are unintentionally hilarious message wars in which Lohan attacks Paris Hilton, calling her a "cunt" and dubbing her friend Perez Hilton a "fat fuck." Another great moment comes when ex-Paris bf Stavros Niarchos asks of Lindsay, essentially, "Why you gotta play me like that?" Her response: "fu." Oh the wit!
Also hilarious are all the liberties with the English language the messages take. Though the one most worth noting has to be Paris' use of the fake word "broughten" (that's not a typo, babe).
Whoever this hacker is, he should know that while what he has done is funny, it's also illegal. I hope he expects to be broughten up on charges.
[Source]
• A very circuitous TMZ diss from the always prophetic Janice Dickinson. [CB]
• Which TV actor has herpes? Keep in mind that studies have proven that herpes makes you a better actor. [Jossip]
• Anna Nicole's cause of death will be revealed Monday. (Cue Howard K Stern yanking on his shirt collar and going, "GULP!") [INO]
• Carmen Electra's coming out? Wasn't she already a lesbian with that Navarro chick? [HT]
• Dropping rape charges in a MySpace flame war? It's a pornstar divorce. [ASL]
• Warrants out like a Fox-y! [TMZ]
• Get out there and get that Madonna designed, cheaply made line. [PopSugar]
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