Perhaps scared away by the massive public outpouring of shock/interest/disgust/horniness that followed her intensely freckled, nude photo shoot for New York magazine, Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $700,000 offer to do an eight-page spread in Playboy. This despite the fact that a simple Google search will turn up numerous photographs enlightening a person as to what each and every one of the young actress' private parts look like.

It's the end of an era, people. And you know what? Good for her.

Fashion Week is nine days away, and before we awkwardly descend upon the tents once again, we decided to remind ourselves of the circus that's ahead. Thankfully, New York magazine did the work for us and compiled a list of 100 of the most hideous looks from the Fall 2008 shows. Our top pick is at left, but you can view the whole list here.

More news from Mother Russia! Known mostly for its sense of humor and unwillingness to accept differences, Russia is in the midst of planning its own version of the hit Western comedy The Office. Exact details of the show are still sketchy, but do expect an episode in which Jim invites Pam to his apartment to drink hairspray and rub the chill from each other's legs.

What's up with the inappropriate Gossip Girl promotion? Between the steamy OMFG sex scene ads and this stripped-down cover of the latest issue of New York magazine, we have a hard time believing any parents will be happy letting their school-age children watch the show tonight when it comes back from hiatus.

Fresh on the heels of her nude photo shoot with New York magazine, Lindsay Lohan has decided to strip down yet again for the upcoming independent film Florence.

The 21-year-old, who previously played a pole dancer in the box-office flop I Know Who Killed Me, has reportedly agreed to 'full frontal' nudity in her role as a nymphomaniac waitress in the drama.

An insider told The Sun: 'Lindsay doesn't care she's getting paid peanuts. She wants to remind people she can act and that she is worth hiring.'

She will reportedly be paid close to $80,000 for her performance — but at this point, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

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We have a huge crush on Arrested Development's Gob Bluth, which automatically leaks over to Will Arnett. He's seen here posing for a Radar magazine shoot, and the exquisiteness of the photos is simply breathtaking. Way better than that time Lindsay Lohan stripped for New York magazine.

Here's the full article, in which he constantly refers to the publication as Gaydar magazine and makes us fall even more in love.

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THE WEIGHT OF LINDSAY LOHAN'S BREASTS "…New York magazine's nude shoot with Lindsay Lohan generated so much web traffic, it crashed the website. But how much traffic is that, really? For starters, more than 20 million page views on both Monday and Tuesday, a 2,000 percent increase over the same time last year…The print magazine is also getting a boost from all the excitement. A spokeswoman says New York has sold 500 more subscriptions this week than in an average week."

New York magazine's recent article with Clay Aiken, who is living in New York to star in the Broadway musical Spamalot, uncovers some news that is sure to be devastating to old women and 14-year-old girls around the world: The guy's pretty much asexual.

[Clay] imagines his social life here will be “nonexistent, really. I’m not a nighttime person.” He does not plan on dating, and he is not involved with anyone. “Heck, no,” he says. “My dogs.” He has never had a romantic relationship with anyone, unless you count the girls he took to dances back in high school in Raleigh. “I just don’t have an interest in … any of that at all. I have got too much on my plate,” he says. “I’d rather focus on one thing and do that when I can devote time to it, and right now, I just don’t have any desire.”

But Aiken is 29 years old and he is also a human. Surely he must have needs. Urges. He contemplates this in silence for 20 or 30 seconds. “Ah think maybe I don’t! I mean, not really. I’ve just kind of shut it off, maybe. Is that bad?”

As if the gay rumors weren't enough, now nobody has hope of scoring with Aiken. Unless, of course, you're a canine.

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The completely comparable WASP Gwyneth Paltrow has been hospitalized, Us reports! Her condition and symptoms remain uncertain, but an eyewitness reported seeing her "slumped over in a wheelchair pushed by [husband] Chris Martin."

New York magazine presumes her illness is a consequence of her restrictive diet, a leafy mix of raw and organic salads and juices. Organic Avenue, the purveyor of the healthier-than-thou goods seen being taken to Paltrow's hospital room, thinks that is poppycock: "Oh, no…There's actually quite a bit of food there, it's just all raw and organic." Mmmmm, anemia.

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Lily Allen, seen above attacking someone, tells New York magazine that she was fully prepared to be arrested upon her recent return to England, saying flatly, "I punched a paparazzi in the face…[and] I left the country the next day. They're saying I'm going to be arrested as soon as I get back." The hardened criminal then railed on Paris Hilton and said of Lindsay Lohan, "I can't wait until Lindsay Lohan goes to jail. 'Boo hoo. I'm going to jail.' Good. Does that mean you'll stop showing me your pussy now?"

That Allen recently canceled many, many tour dates is beginning to make sense. Assaulting and insulting people all the time tends to sap a person's energy.

More from the scene of the crime after this jump.

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