• Tori Amos is coming out with a new album. Based on the Bible, the blood running down her thigh and the word "shame" scrawled across her palm, I'm guessing some of the tracks might touch on religion. [PopBytes]

• Spears is in 'hab in LA. Who knew she was having any problems? [Jossip]

• Need a delicate way to say "Sorry you're sterile?" Hallmark's got you covered! [Gawker]

• Tom Brady's defense now scrambling after being hit with the old Hail Mary of crumbling relationships: "But, I'm pregnant." [NYP]

• Boatloads of expensive luggage was really only necessary when people traveled on boats. [JJ]

• If they get married—which they won't—she should probably take his last name. [ICYDK]

• Nicholas Cage is so weird he's cool. [ASL]

• Factory pants look different than regular pants. [Egotastic]

• I'm going to try to ignore this bit of information and still crush on Alicia Keys. [INO]

• Nic Cage. Just look. [DListed]

• Mike Myers' version of Borat, and you can only see it in New York. Sorry, Tennessee. [CityRag]

• I'm not surprised she's still complaining. But I am surprised Tyra types "y'all" when addressing fans. [HT]

• Harry Potter getting pretty close to exposing his wand. [IDLYITW]
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• Federline turned down 25 mill that would have forced him out of his kid's lives for good. Dude turned it down. Are you ready to admit that he's a decent guy? Or do you think he's just holding out for more? [TMZ]

• A pretty frightening, educated estimation that civilization's got only a 50 percent chance of reaching 2100. [NYT]

• Nicholas Cage may mope his way through all of his movies, but take off his shirt and you realize he is still pretty bad-ass. [JustJared]
• Christina Aguilera has already backed out of her fued with Mariah Carey. Weak catfight sauce, ladies. [WWTDD]
• Apparently Matt Leinart's new teammates aren't too impressed that he managed to bed Paris Hilton. After all, they will be sharing a shower with the guy. [The Superficial]
• Trying to steal Jay-Z from Beyonce. Rihanna, please. [D Listed]
• According to College Humor, Connie Chung is less sexy than the Flavor of Love gigls? Come on. [College Humor]