PARIS HILTON RECOUNTS GULLIBILITY "Tearful multi-millionaire Paris fluttered her eyes and told the News of the World: 'Every other guy I've been out with has used me for money or sex - but in most cases they just want fame. It made it hard to trust people.' Top of Paris’s treachery hitlist is ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon, now 40. The small-time film producer made millions selling the infamous home-made sex tape of Paris, which was originally leaked on the internet. … She also boosted the flagging careers of ex-Backstreet Boy Nick Carter and Greek shipping heirs Paris Latsis and Stavros Niarchos III, who ditched her after using their newfound celebrity to snare other women. 'After a while I had to start questioning exactly why somebody wanted to be with me,' said Paris, 27."

Aaron Carter has parlayed his recent marijuana possession charges into newfound fame: Nick's younger and somehow uglier brother will be joining the next season of VH1's Celebrity Rehab.

Also joining him will be Heidi Fleiss, Hollywood madam extraordinaire, and former Skid Row front-man Sebastian Bach, who seems to be making the D-list reality show rounds (see also: MTV's Celebrity Rap Superstar).

Aaron was only caught with weed, correct? Is that seriously grounds for rehab? Surely there are enough celebrity addicts out there better than Hilary and Lindsay's ex-love puppy. Unless it's some sort of d-bag rehab, in which case we're on board.

[Source]

Nick Carter's little brother Aaron — best known for starting the feud between Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan — was busted by police for possession of marijuana.

Cops pulled Aaron over in Texas' Kimble County (read: the middle of nowhere) for speeding, but upon searching the vehicle authorities discovered over two ounces of pot. The poor thing had to stay in jail overnight.

This is truly shocking and devastating news to everyone still living in 2003.

[Source]

Nick Carter has been using his inexplicable press time to badmouth ex-girlfriend Paris Hilton, saying he would never again date the heiress because she's not "intelligent" enough for him. We agree with part of that. But like it matters: Dude, so far out of your league nowadays.

As you might have guessed, and as the boys' parents should have known, Lou Pearlman, the businessman behind many of the most successful, supple young entertainers of the 1990s, was also an alleged child molester. After describing Pearlman as "hog-fat," today's Page Six excerpts damning testimony taken from an upcoming Vanity Fair piece on the predatory boy band mastermind and his victims.

"I would absolutely say the guy was a sexual predator. All the talent knew what Lou's game was," Steve Mooney, an aspiring singer who was Pearlman's assistant, told VF's Bryan Burrough. "Some guys joked about it. I remember [one singer] asking me, 'Have you let Lou blow you yet?' "

Mooney said he once asked Pearlman, who was known as "Big Poppa," what it would take for him to get into a band. "I'll never forget this as long as I live. He leaned back in his chair, in his white terry cloth robe and white underwear, and spread his legs," Mooney told Burrough. "And then he said, and these were his exact words, 'You're a smart boy. Figure it out.'"

Unfortunately, it doesn't end there.

CONTINUED »

• Hey! What'd you do with that vomitous guttersnipe to whom we've grown so accustomed? [DListed]

• Justin talks about Britney on Oprah! (That sentence is so fucking famous it doesn't need last names.) [INO]

• Does the word "upskirt" give anyone else the chills? [HT]

• Vanessa Hudgens: Before her vagina was also famous. [Yeeeah]

• "Westminster Dog Show Tickets on Sale!" Be sure to get good seats for the loneliest show on earth! [CityRag]

• So I guess this guy didn't get the memo regarding putting the kibosh on bragging about dating Britney Spears. [ICYDK]

Oh invasion of privacy shminvasion of privacy, these old love letters from Paris Hilton to Nick Carter are priceless. Take a minute out of your day to do yourself a serious favor and read these. In fact, print 'em out, use a little of your office's white out (hey, your boss is already on vacation anyway, right?) and doctor these bad boys to send to your lover. How amazing is it that she actually made a collage of photos of herself from tabloids to give to her boyfriend? I fucking love it. In her defense, however, she would beat Lohan in a spelling bee.

In honor of this morning's Paris Hilton based throw-down, I give you a slightly older Paris Hilton based throw-down (only this time, she's not actually thrown down, for better or for worse). In case you needed another reason to both hate Aaron and Nick Carter and vow to never, ever voluntarily watch their new reality show. Sure, this may be a bunch of show-promoting overblown shenanigans, but it's pretty amusing in that dude, are they on the verge of tears over Paris? way.