SHIRT HAPPENS The ultimate awful t-shirt, on a Polish youth just minutes ago in Brookyln's Greenpoint neighborhood: "Most Likely to Wear a Stupid T-Shirt." Meta! Horrible, but meta!

SHMOLYMPICS Forgive me, nation, for I have sinned: I haven't watched more than five minutes of this year's Olympics since they started – no swimming, no track, no wrestling – and I don't think I will. Every time I go to turn them on the television, I feel as if I'm about to start a chore and quickly drop the remote like a leaden shot.

I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I just can't summon the fevered devotion like many others. I'm looking for a support group; anyone else out there with me?