AMERICAN PRICK SELLS GAUDY MONSTROSITY TO RUSSIAN PRICK "Real estate mogul Donald Trump closed the sale of a Palm Beach mansion to a Russian billionaire Tuesday for the blockbuster price of $95 million. 'I love breaking records,' Trump said Wednesday, 'and this is a record.' It's believed to be the most expensive single-family home ever sold in the United States."

Though most people obsessed with Marilyn Monroe do their best to forget that she was a drug-addled, insecure mess who many powerful men took advantage of, Lindsay Lohan, Monroe's nakedest young fan, uses her new leggings line to give a refreshingly realistic nod to the original blond bombshell. At left is the "Mr President" style, which features built-in kneepads.