THIS TIME, OJ'S GUILTY "O.J. Simpson has been found guilty on all charges in the gunpoint robbery of two sports memorabilia dealers in a Las Vegas casino hotel room more than a year ago. The 61-year-old former football faces up to life in prison. A somber Simpson released a heavy sigh as the charges were read Friday in Clark County District Court. He was immediately taken into custody. The verdict comes 13 years to the day after Simpson was acquitted of killing his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ronald Goldman, in Los Angeles."
THESE THINGS HAPPEN IN FLORIDA Arnelle Simpson, 39, OJ's eldest daughter, violently attacked her notorious father last night in Florida, knocking him to the ground and bloodying his mouth. We're not sure what's more surprising: that it took this long or that OJ didn't hit back.
New research calls into question a study suggesting circumcision halves a man's chances of contracting HIV, a claim detailed at length in 2006 in this former "Most E-Mailed" New York Times article. According to one expert, the latest data shows the 2006 findings to be "spurious and unsupported" and more related to behavior than physicality. Whoops.
Sorry you got such a bad rap, hooded friends. To make you feel more included, after the jump, we've made a list of all your ALLEGEDLY uncircumcised brethren in Hollywood.
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Actor Michael Madsen, best known for portraying violent psychopaths in bloody Quentin Tarantino films, was taken by ambulance to a London hospital recently after incurring injuries during a physical altercation with his wife.
Our initial reaction: Of course Michael Madsen fistfights his wife—look at him.
Click through for four more obvious domestic abusers.
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OJ Simpson, slippery with so much blood, reportedly wants to be a contestant on the new season of Donald Trump's celeb-reality show, Celebrity Apprentice. Ratings whore that he is, Trump is said to be considering the idea, despite the fact that most people agree Simpson stabbed two people to death and then lied about it. Silver lining: a fired OJ Simpson might mercilessly beat the everloving shit out of Donald Trump.
CLOSE CALL "OJ Simpson's girlfriend, Christy Prody, suffered bruises and head injuries on Monday — but it was because of a fall — and not at the hand of the Juice. The National Enquirer reported that OJ was being investigated after Prody was taken to a Miami hospital with head trauma and bruising. But cops tell TMZ that her injuries are 'consistent' with a fall she took at a gas station, that they don't consider this a criminal case, and that OJ was never a suspect." CONTINUED »
OJ Simpson's former agent, Mike Gilbert, is currently writing a book called How I Helped O. J. Get Away With Murder. No details yet as to what it's about.
Alleged armed robber/double murderer OJ Simpson violated the terms of his bail by trying to contact a codefendant in his case. The judge for the case issued Simpson a scathing rebuke: "I don't know if it's just arrogance, I don't know if it's ignorance, but you've been locked up at the Clark County Detention Center since Friday because of either arrogance or ignorance or both."
It may be a run-on, but she's right. For the record, we think it's both.
Is the Times' Steve Friess harboring resentment towards acquitted killer-cum-accused kidnapper OJ Simpson? You decide:
Unlike Mr. Simpson’s famous “absolutely, 100 percent not guilty” proclamation when he was arraigned on murder charges in the killings of his ex-wife and her friend in 1994, this time the former football star and actor offered his plea without theatrics, a simple but firm "Not guilty."
Meow, Paper of Record!
Whoops! It looks like OJ Simpson, the stabbiest Heisman Trophy winner in the history of football, has recently been making a lot more money than people knew (the NFL alone pays him pensions of $400,000 a year!). Besides tax authorities and golf resorts, the main party interested in Simpson's income is Fred Goldman, the father of one of Simpson's alleged murder victims, who strongly believes that bankrupting his son's killer translates to justice.
Fred Goldman's lawyer, David Cook, tells TMZ that what he's really interested in is the $772,090 in "personal property" that O.J. claims on his 2005 return, because the pensions are exempt from the $33.5 million judgment that Fred won in 1997 — and which they've been trying to collect ever since. Cook says he's not sure what the "personal property" consists of, but says he'll be going after it.
Has news reached the nation's slums that in some circles poverty is considered punishment for murder? Someone should go tell them. Things will get interesting soon thereafter.
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• Look where a career forged on the shoulders of a famous murderer gets a person. You're at the big dance, Shapiro. [Queerty]
• If poverty explains ugly, why is everyone in the favelas of Brazil at least an eight? Maybe just poor Americans are ugly. Or maybe wealthy Americans are just very ugly on the inside of their brains. [Gawker]
• David Copperfield's allegedly meticulous rape technique is unfathomably creepy. You don't trust magicians, people. [DListed]
• The Hills is soooooooooo fake. Stop watching it. [PITNB]
• Dick in a bag? [PS]
• It's not hot when she's been more naked on the job. That's a fact. [HT]
• Johnny Depp's a painter, also. Swoon, ladies. [ICYDK]
• Wait, did rehab actually work? Rehab never works. [INO]
• Grandmother Spears: "If they're boycotting your album, sweetie, they're not your real friends." [Yeeeah]
• Seriously, is everyone sure she didn't fall and hit her face? [CityRag]
New allegations charge that OJ Simpson – seen here slipping on some gloves that are far too small for his fist-prone hands – once hired a private investigator to wiretap his ex-wife's home and cars. Of course, it's widely accepted that Simpson is also guilty of nearly decapitating said ex-wife while in a swirling rage, but wiretapping is bad, too.
[Source]
Remember when everyone was so disgusted and outraged about OJ's book that the project's scapegoats were summarily fired and bookstores were refusing to carry it? Surprise: It turns out that people actually aren't that repulsed by it, as the book is seeing tremendous sales. This means big profits for big business, all based on big killings, which, of course, everyone still finds reprehensible.
In yet another move that paints him as a sad, wild-eyed loon who hasn't used these past 13 years to take the necessary steps toward healing, Fred Goldman has sicked his lawyers on a crashing OJ Simpson, this time demanding Simpson's Rolex and the sports memorabilia Simpson is accused of robbing. The lawyers are also seeking to obtain funds Simpson may have received for his involvement with a successful video game.
Bereaved families everywhere are extraordinarily anxious to see if, indeed, this bundle of money will bring Goldman's son back.
[Source]
OJ Simpson has been arrested and charged with multiple felonies for his part in an armed robbery of some "motherfuckers" he claims stole his valuable sports memorabilia. According to the DA currently handling the case, the top charge alone could get Simpson 35 years in prison. See what happens when you leave witnesses?
[Source]
• Dude looks like a strong lady! (Unfortunately, dude normally looks like a relatively weak man.) Pretty much all is revealed here, people. Enjoy, and be gentle. [Queerty]
• "The Commies" commenter awards? What a great idea! I wish I woulda thought of that two weeks ago! [Gawker]
• Ah, that makes perfect sense, OJ: A "sting operation." How 'bout now you solve the case of why white women still flock to you. [DListed]
• A picture's worth a thousand neglects. [CityRag]
• Finally, a film willing to take a sentimental stance on the 70s. [Yeeeah]
• How about we leave alone the "Leave Britney Alone" parodies? [INO]
• Britney Spears has decided to not perform at the Emmys. She will instead contemplate whether or not her rafters can support the weight gain everyone's making a big deal about. [ICYDK]
• Carmen Electra: Using her tits for attention since…uhhhh…whenever she had them installed. [HT]
OJ Simpson was questioned on suspicion of breaking into a hotel room yesterday in Las Vegas. Even if he did enter the room illegally, once inside, Simpson did not go into a blind rage and bleed anyone like wild game. So: Upgrade!
[Source]
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