Thanks to Jamie Spears finally controlling his daughter, the tabloids are fairly boring this week. And speaking of Brit, nobody can decide whether she's happy and getting her life back or she's living the life of a prisoner. We don't really care, as long as she isn't around any children — oh, she's teaching dance classes to kids? Fabulous.
Little sister Jamie Lynn is trying to keep up with Brit, this time whoring herself around and involving Lil' Romeo in a baby-daddy whodunnit. Pretty good, JL, but are you making your babies cry?
Also this week: Jessica plans to make her Dallas Cowboys curse permanent with marriage plans, Suri has a traumatic no-fast food upbringing and some idiots are paying $1,000 to inject botox in their armpits. Sign us up! CONTINUED »
STEP ASIDE, X-TINA "People magazine reportedly shelled out $6 million for the first crack at photos of J.Lo’s twins, but that deal only accounts for rights to publish the pics in the United States. OK! magazine has also struck an exclusive deal for photos of the Lopez/Anthony babies. Their pics will run in OK!’s 15 international editions, the magazine confirms."
Bottom-rung tabloid OK! is learning the hard way that people get upset if you run fake cover stories about their "cancer scare."
TV doctor Eric Dane says he was "mortified" when he saw that OK!'s February 18 cover story intimated he had cancer. The actor is even thinking of filing a lawsuit, says Us Weekly, basking in the fallout of their competitor's destruction.
To be sure, Dane did have some malignant cells burned off his lips with liquid nitrogen, but that just means he's gross, not terminal.
Britney's locked away in the psych ward this week, but that doesn't mean she's disappeared. She ends up in every single magazine with the exact same story: Brit's crazy. We didn't need to pay $3.99 to figure that out.
Mary-Kate Olsen is experiencing the Heath Ledger backlash, with Star going so far as to devote a four-page spread on how she and her twin sister are awful midgets. Or something like that.
And Life & Style continues on its solo mission to kidnap Baby Shiloh. This week, the mag reported that Shiloh has a stalker. It forgot to mention that said stalker is in fact Life & Style. CONTINUED »
New mother and old news Christina Aguilera was recently disappointed by OK! magazine, reports MSNBC. After several months of negotiations, a deal between the tabloid and the bleached chanteuse got kiboshed when OK! refused to guarantee Aguilera and her new son a full cover.
Aguilera was offended, but OK! was firm, mostly because their numbers don't lie: "…a magazine insider points out that the singer performs well on stage, but not so much on newsstands. 'The OK! wedding cover didn’t sell as well as they hoped, and even her recent Marie Claire cover underperformed, all things considered…'" Then the insider got a little catty, saying, "Christina has an inflated sense of her own value and seems to expect an extortionate amount of money for these baby pictures."
Hand bitten! Gravy train derailed!
Because the tabs missed Heath Ledger's death last week, this week we are treated to multiple angles of the actor's life: He was an awful person! He was a great person! He was addicted to drugs and didn't care! He tried to get help! TMZ wore us out with this last week. Let's move on.
The biggest news, of course, is Angelina's pregnancy. You know what this means: Expect a bombardment of Brangelina covers for the next nine months.
In other news, Lynne Spears tries to act like a mother, Heidi claims to be religious and Miley Cyrus is the next Britney. God help us all. CONTINUED »
Yesterday we received an e-mail from Us with this subject line: "EXCLUSIVE: Katie Holmes Registers for Boston Marathon." Today, when we click on the link for the story, 'tis nowhere to be found. What happened?
Did Holmes drop out? Was she ever signed up? Is she, in fact, signed up, but saying she's not due to security issues? Shin splints?
OK! says the dead link is simply due to the fact that Us is full of lie tellers:
"Katie Holmes is not running in the Boston Marathon," her spokeswoman Ina Treciokas tells OK! exclusively, breaking the heart of long-distance-running Dawson's Creek fans everywhere.
The insult to the injury: "…those stories are nothing but wishful dreaming on the part of the editors of faltering tabloid Us Weekly." Faltering! Tabloid wars! First battle will be at Kitson. Let the BlackBerrys fly!
[Source]
Congrats to Lynne Spears! This week, her daughters had a monopoly on all the covers — Jamie Lynn still has some work to do, however, because she only appeared on one compared to Britney's four. It seems the crazy trumps teen pregnancy every time.
Besides the onslaught of Britney drama, there's lots of Hills gossip and Hollywood stars who still refuse to come out of the closet. What more could you ask for? Exclusives with Tara Reid and Amy Winehouse? OK! has you covered!
So let's travel to a world where suicide threats and kidnapping are the norm, and Britney seems to have hit rock bottom. But for some reason, Intern Whitney still isn't so sure. CONTINUED »
Lindsay Lohan on rehab: "It was a sobering experience." So punny! This round in the sobes-zone layer must have worked! No drunk but WC Fields can crank them out like that.
Hey, remember that absurdly expensive gown that Britney Spears turned into a literal shitrag? Well, now you can own it, complete with ambiguous stain! Lucky you. Unlucky zeitgeist.
Ben Widdicombe initially asked the question, "Which struggling new glossy is so out of money that staffers are having to pay for photos on personal credit cards?" Intriguing but daunting—so many pieces of shit from which to choose. But have no fear, brother blog Jossip narrows it down for you. Could it be Life & Style? Hello? And don't forget about the dark horse: OK!.
Go here to vote, and then do us a favor and start buying those magazines—New York gets ugly when media people have to go too long without Blackberrys and extravagant vacations.
The gravy train carrying litigious salon-goer (like, even more than chicks, I bet) Larry Birkhead came to an abrupt halt recently, when OK! magazine severed ties with the famous father amid rumors of Birkhead's underhanded custody dealings with supposed foe Howard K Stern.
"My biggest fear is that Larry and Howard may have tricked us all," editor Sarah Ivens said in a statement yesterday. It is strongly rumored that "Blonde Ambition," written by Rita Cosby, will indicate the two men, who both claimed to father the baby, struck a backroom deal.
"The newly obtained allegations are detailed, shocking and potentially incriminating," the magazine's publicist said.
Sorry, Ivens, but if you're just now learning that Larry Birkhead and Howard K Stern (and Anna Nicole Smith, for that matter) "tricked us all," you deserved to get duped.
[Source]
Beneath here lie photos of Britney Spears' so-called "disastrous" OK! photo shoot. They're small and of poor quality, so one can't extrapolate much information from them (like if there was actually dog shit smeared on couture), but it should be said that this series doesn't really convey "crazy" any more than any other event in which poorer people dote on richer people in absurdly expensive clothes.
Update: Jossip has more information that states this fiasco isn't all that it's being touted as. And they quote, "OK! has no Britney exclsuive [sic] photos and the interview’s bad…no real revelations." Surprise, surprise: exaggeration in Hollywood.
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