THE SCRAMBLE FOR CHINA'S HEARTS AND MINDS "When the Beijing Olympic Games kicked off two weeks ago with a four-hour spectacular, more than 840 million people in China tuned in, perhaps the largest television audience in history for a single event. The broadcast was the first in a series of Olympic bonanzas for China Central Television, or CCTV, one of the chief propaganda arms of the Chinese state and perhaps also a new global media titan. … The company is … a model of how the Communist Party in China manages to keep state-owned companies profitable as it moves the nation toward a market economy with less government influence. That the biggest corporations in the world are bankrolling that evolution — as well as party propaganda — is one of the ironies of modern China. … Its advertisers include Procter & Gamble, Coca-Cola and Adidas. It has cut television and marketing deals with the National Basketball Association and IMG Worldwide, the global sports and entertainment giant."
IT'S ABOUT TIME "The International Olympic Committee (IOC) confirmed to The Epoch Times today that it has asked the International Gymnastics Federation to investigate the Chinese gymnastics underage fiasco, following new evidence that at least two gymnasts competed under the legal age in the Olympics."
JUST A THOUGHT How awesome would it be if, instead of extolling the merits of McDonald's, Michael Phelps used his current ubiquity to better publicize the notion that it's odd to hold the glorious, triumphant, ancient Olympic Games in China, a country that gets rid of freethinkers? It's not gonna happen, but wouldn't it be fantastic? Oh well—yay, McDonald's!

Amidst false reports that Michael Phelps, the greatest Olympian/athlete/human being of all time, is dating fellow swimmer Amanda Beard, his hometown Baltimore paper has come out in defense of the golden boy to claim that everyone has it wrong. According to the Baltimore Sun, Phelps is off the market, but his girlfriend has been around for quite some time now and is not famous in the least.
This so-called girlfriend better watch out, however, because Michael's latest admirer is none other than Lindsay Lohan, who sent a text to Billy Bush to pass along to Phelps' mom, Debbie, saying her son was "[bleeping] amazing and I want to meet him!"
[Source]
OLYMPIC FEVER! "Two elderly Chinese women have been sentenced to a year of 're-education through labor' after they repeatedly sought a permit to demonstrate in one of the official Olympic protest areas, according to family members and human rights advocates. The women, Wu Dianyuan, 79, and Wang Xiuying, 77, had made five visits to the police this month in an effort to get permission to protest what they contended was inadequate compensation for the demolition of their homes in Beijing."
Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard on rumors she is dating eary merman Michael Phelps:
Eww, that's nasty. I have never, ever hooked up with Michael Phelps. Come on, I have really good taste … He's really not my type.

America got slaughtered last night by China in the Olympic baseball games, which does exist. Not "slaughtered" like China kicked the United States' butt (they didn't, America won 9-1….GO U.S.A.!). Slaughtered like "did that batter just get hit by a Chinese pitcher again?" Yes, yes he did, but only because he was involved in taking out the Chinese catcher.
Watch video of the traumas below (which included a batter, Matt LaPorta, given a concussion, for eff's sake):
There are so many things wrong with this clip of Matt Lauer and Al Roker's rhythmic gymnastics routine from The Today Show that we don't even know where to begin. The two pranced around in spandex to "Dream Weaver," and the only entertaining part occurred when the other countries' competitors watched from the stands in horror. Go team!

Ever wondered what eight gold medals look like? No? Well, Michael Phelps wants to show you anyway, posing on the cover of Sports Illustrated with his winnings hanging around his neck. And if you were curious as to how popular he's become over the past couple of weeks, the media is now speculating on his love life, which means he's officially hit the big time. The two candidates for Michael's maybe-girlfriend are fellow Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard and model Lily Donaldson. The article left out his third potential girlfriend, Whitney, but it's probably best to keep that under wraps.

Now that President King Dictator Michael Phelps has won the Olympics — literally, the whole shebang is his — what's next? Doubtful that a guy could win eight gold medals in Beijing and then go back to Maryland with his dog to swim laps in the Potomac, although that looks as if it's Mikey's game-plan. Luckily, the money from Phelp's endorsements might last him long enough to buy a place in a nicer neighborhood than Baltimore; Speedo is writing him a cheque for $1 million as part of its promise for him winning eight gold medals, and that's on top of their existing endorsement deal, his sponorship gigs for Visa, Hilton, and Kellogg's (among others).
It leaves little doubt Phelps will add "richest Olympian" to his roster of personal records. But he's going to accomplish a more incredible feat: remaining relevant after the closing ceremonies. Indeed, where other celebrity Olympians disappeared into oblivion after their medal ceremonies, we see Phelps reaching the success of pro athletes who compete in leagues identified by three-letter acronyms.
Here's how:
NBC ALSO BREAKING RECORDS "Michael Phelps' record eighth gold medal catapulted NBC to its best Saturday night ratings since 1990, with almost 40 million tuning in around 11 p.m. EDT to watch Phelps and the U.S. team win the 4×100m medley relay at the Beijing Olympics. The full Saturday night telecast on NBC averaged 31.1 million viewers, Nielsen Media Research said Sunday. That's up 38% compared with the 22.5 million viewers for the second Saturday during the 2004 Athens Games. … NBC said the last time it got an audience that size on a Saturday night was Feb. 24, 1990, when 31.4 million viewers watched 'Empty Nest.'"

Michael Phelps won eight gold medals over the weekend, which officially sent the media into a frenzy, dubbing him the greatest athlete of all time and whatnot. It's not really surprising, but after the miraculous finish from Friday night's 100m fly we were admittedly a little nervous. You can watch the video from Friday night here and Saturday night here, if you actually have a life and haven't seen them replayed on television a thousand times.

We would like to take a moment to wish Michael Phelps luck over the weekend on his quest to win eight gold medals — he's already racked up six, so he's in the home stretch. Let's just hope there's no underage Chinese athletes waiting to sabotage the competition.
SHADY BUSINESS "Just nine months before the Beijing Olympics, the Chinese government's news agency, Xinhua, reported that gymnast He Kexin was 13, which would have made her ineligible to be on the team that won a gold medal this week."
SHMOLYMPICS Forgive me, nation, for I have sinned: I haven't watched more than five minutes of this year's Olympics since they started – no swimming, no track, no wrestling – and I don't think I will. Every time I go to turn them on the television, I feel as if I'm about to start a chore and quickly drop the remote like a leaden shot.
I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I just can't summon the fevered devotion like many others. I'm looking for a support group; anyone else out there with me?

• For those who spend a lot of time checking out Kim Kardashian's assets. [CityRag]
• Did Jennifer Aniston get her lips pumped? Does anyone care? [INO]
• Diddy thinks sex should be an Olympic sport. Naturally. [DListed]
• Jessica Simpson says she was bullied in high school — but only because people were jealous of how perfect she is. [ICYDK]
• James Franco says he hasn't done drugs since high school. [PS]
• Paris Hilton is being sued for failing to promote National Lampoon’s Pledge This!, not that she would have convinced anyone to actually watch that horrible movie. [Yeeeah]
Michael Phelps made history last night by winning his 10th and 11th career Olympic gold medals — and breaking world records along the way. Sure, you can call him a butterface, but the man is a machine and is doing things no other Olympic athlete has done before. And his attitude is still pretty impressive, as evidenced by his interview with the lovely Matt Lauer right before the games began.
HE'S A MACHINE "American swimmer Michael Phelps earned his third gold medal of the 2008 Beijing Olympics Tuesday morning — easily blowing away the competition in the 200-meter freestyle. He touched the wall in just 1:42.96 — a new world record — shaving almost a second off his old mark, set in Melbourne, Australia in 2007."







