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Whitney Port, one of the few Hills characters who doesn't make us want to commit violent acts of rage but has a penchant for saying "OMG" entirely too much, has left the incestuous pool of LA for the incestuous pool of NYC to pursue a career in fashion and suffer from boy drama. Yeah, same premise as The Hills, just way less interesting. We can't decide if this is Whitney's fault or if Lauren Conrad's show just wore us out the first time around. Either way, we're over it. But we'll totally be watching.

On a side note, we kind of love Whit's new friend (roommate?) who delivers the line about an invisible tattoo on her forehead that says "Make out with me," and only guys who live on futons can read it. Love her.

Which godawful stunt did you watch last night? The one in which David Blaine, notorious cheat, hung on the monkey bars like a weird, magical third grader, or the one in which vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin tried to dodge Katie Couric using every last trick in the "Unprepared Student" handbook?

Click through for the highlight reel.

Our favorite parts are at :50, when a toughie from Couric is met with complete silence before Palin then repeats her previous answer, and at around 4:30, when, after Couric asks Palin to give specific examples of the famously anti-regulation McCain "reforming" Wall Street, the Alaskan Governor literally says: "He's known as THE MAVERICK, though." (SERIOUSLY, THIS FREAKIN' LADY SAID THAT UNIRONICALLY!) When Couric very reasonably asks Palin to quit dodging and give some examples, Palin replies, all folksy, "I’ll try to find you some and I’ll bring 'em to ya." Thanks, Sarah! You do that; we've got all the time in the world.

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Oh yes. It's a bit grainy, but that's definitely vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin being anointed in 2005 by Thomas Muthee, the scary Kenyan witch hunter we told you about previously whose main claim to fame is running eccentric old ladies out of his town like a damn Miller villain.

Fast forward to 7:30 and then listen closely for the part when Muthee, his hand clutching Palin's shoulder, asks Jesus to protect her from "witchcraft."

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BECAUSE NOBODY HAS ANY ATTENTION SPAN ANYMORE "Universal is teaming with 'Wanted' director Timur Bekmambetov for … a reimagining of the classic [Moby Dick]. Variety reports that Universal paid high six figures to Adam Cooper and Bill Collage to pen the screenplay. The writers intend to change the structure of the revered novel … The changes will include depictions of the whale’s decimation of other ships prior to its encounter with Ahab’s Pequod. Further, Ahab will be portrayed more as a charismatic leader than a brooding obsessive. 'Our vision isn’t your grandfather’s ‘Moby Dick,’ ' Cooper told Variety. 'This is an opportunity to take a timeless classic and capitalize on the advances in visual effects to tell what at its core is an action-adventure revenge story.'"

EVERYTHING GOLD IS USED AGAIN "Columbia Pictures and Sony Pictures Animation are bringing a live-action/animated 'Smurfs' project to the bigscreen. … Best known in the United States for the long-running Hanna-Barbera cartoon, the Smurfs were created in 1958 by Belgian cartoonist Pierre Culliford, known throughout the world as Peyo. The Smurfs, originally called 'Les Schtroumpfs' in French, were created for a Belgian series of comic books, first as minor characters. The villagers, known for their blue skin and small statures, spawned a line of statuettes, games, toys, theme parks and a hit TV series, which ran as part of NBC's Saturday-morning lineup from 1981-90. … 'Smurfs' marks SPA's first hybrid film — a subgenre that proved popular given the success of 20th Century Fox's 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' …"

WHAT'S AMAZON'S TIME WORTH? "You expect it to happen to fund-strapped start-ups such as Twitter. But Amazon? The e-commerce site went down this afternoon around 1:30 EDT and stayed down for at least an hour. Attempts to access Amazon.com were met with the following message: 'Http/1.1 Service Unavailable.' It's hard to know exactly how many dollars a minute Amazon loses in sales for every moment its site is down, but simple math pegs it at about $1.8 million an hour …"

In a survey of over 2,500 adult Americans, 51 percent of respondents said that celebrity endorsements have little to no effect on their feelings toward a product or cause. You're right, that number IS too low, particularly when one considers that 45 percent of those surveyed say celebrities have a "large or positive" influence over their life decisions. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

It really is the end of days! If the famine, violence, rising temperatures and general sense of dismay darkening the globe haven't been enough to rattle your hope for a bright future, this one-eyed "demon goat" sure as hell should.

Click through (at your own risk) for the video.

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