BECKHAM ISN'T EXACTLY KNOWN FOR HIS BRAIN "David Beckham was happy to meet Entourage actor Rex Lee at Jermaine Dupri's birthday bash in Chicago. The only problem? 'It wasn't the real Rex Lee,' laughed a spy, 'and Becks brought him into the VIP area and spent the whole night drinking with him!'"

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Well, the girl certainly doesn't learn a lesson. Welcome to this week's disturbing and probably controversy-stirring picture of Lindsay Lohan's Fireless Crotch. Click on the pic above to see the uncropped version.

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Well, that or some sort of anti-fungal cream in her armpits.

Guess which two fashionista starlets gave the paparazzi a little glimpse of their virginal whites? Click on the pictures to see.

Who knew Ashlee Simpson was so cutting edge?

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Hopefully you've got no cookies to lose, cause here is Paris Hilton's bum. At least it's perky. Recent photos have pointed to the demise of her relationship with Stavros, so it's nice to see that she is taking out her sadness on the Karaoke floor.

I can tell it's going to be a good week.

They're supposedly real and they're pretty impressive. Christina Aguilera and her girls hit the streets in Paris yesterday missing a crucial article of clothing–her bra. Maybe it was dark in the room when she was getting dressed? That, or she wants to emphasize the look part of look but don't touch, cause damn, look at those puppies go.

Good morning and happy Monday to you. Since I love you dearly, I present to you this morning some Mischa Barton nipple. Not one, but both of these photos are NSFW if you click on them. Barton is off in London enjoying acting school and flashing her British-desiring ta-tas around town.

Just some areola for everyone to get you through the week. Well, at least until lunch when I will hopefuly have more illicit body pieces to inveil.

This Nicolette Sheridan double nipple slip is either completely made up or on purpose, because there's no way that she is letting both of her breasts pop out of her suit simultaneously, no matter how clueless she is. Hell, even Tara Reid only exposed on mangled boob. Click on the photo above to see the unedited version and let me know if you think it's on purpose, computer enhanced, or she's wearing some bathing suit of the future where there is no regard for hiding nipples in shame.

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Coco Cox-Arquette has an awesome sense of humor. She also very clearly loves the paparazzi. The evidence lays in the NSFW Courtney Cox photo if you click on the picture above. Not a nipple slip so much as a child-induced exposure. Doesn't that kid look too old to want to be breast feeding? Kids reveal the dardnest things. Like their mother's boobs.

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GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Turns out Toni Braxton loves herself some full-frontal coverage thongs, probably more than she loves her dress choice for this pre-World Cup performance. The mishap doesn't occur until about three and a half mintues into this video,and the shot is from far away, but you can feel her embarrassment through the computer.

Janet Jackson is no-doubt watching this clip on repeat, thanking the sweet lord that she wasn't in any way involved.

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It's nice to know that in this age of uber-production and staged reality there is still room for a good old fashioned fuck up. Even better when it takes place at this year's Mrs. World finale in St. Petersberg and the competition is clearly rigged for Mrs. Russia to win and the host, Alan Thicke obviously, gives the crown to the wrong girl. Tears, rage, a sparsely populated second go of the ceremony, a child lowered from the ceiling twice, for starters–this video's got it all.

It's priceless, just like broken hearts always are. Just one more reason to enter your child into the pageant circuit at the youngest possible age to ensure a full lifetime of maximum social retardation, skewed sense of reality, self-esteem based on arbitrary and physical characterisitics, and brilliant dramatic make-up techniques.

Back up one second though, Mrs. World? The marrieds get one of these now? Isn't there some time when we should cut these pageant hussies loose? This has to be the lowest of them all. A little hurt up for cash, eh, Thicke?

Today's Moving Picture isn't celebrity related, but it's hilarious so watch it anyway. It's your classic news anchor slip, but slightly better because its completely out of nowhere. Where did she even get that? It was nothing even close to the word she was trying to say. Perhaps her mind was elsewhere, like on her husband, or her co-anchor.

I admit, sometimes I find pleasure in the misery of others. Especially when I find said ‘other’ to be a kinda sorta huge douche bag. Now is one of those times, and I must say, I looked through these photos of Bruce Willis getting drenched from a spontaneous downpour during an interview in Cannes, and giggled to myself quite a lot. Luckily, NBC was there to tape the incident and create this glorious slideshow.

Of course, I am an asshole and will get my karmic retribution sometime soon, but until then, there’s nothing like seeing a celebrity’s face in that combination of shock, anger, and embarrassment when something like this happens. Of course this was not Bruce Willis’ fault, but maybe Mother Nature gets the same pleasure from watching others realize that their pants are going to be wet for the rest of the day that I do.

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This morning's video may not be one of our favorite celebrities, but it is one of the best YouTube bits I've seen in a while. In a mistake that probably cost someone their job, a cab driver who was at the BBC for a job interview was mistakenly pulled out of the room in which he was waiting, rather than the correct man who was in the holding room next door, and put on air as an expert. The look on the cab driver's face when he realizes what has happened and that he is on live television is priceless, and the greatest thing is he just goes with it and answers the questions the best he can.

No correcting the mistake. No pause other than his look of utter disbelief. Just one big, "why the hell not?" Someone give this man a job.