A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN "We really shouldn't be surprised at anything when it comes to Michael Jackson. But we have to admit we were shocked when we found out he'd been on a string of dates with Pamela Anderson. The odd couple seem to have bonded over their love of plastic surgery and have been hooking up in Malibu."

There are just so many things wrong with the picture at left, which features this caption: "Pamela Anderson Does Lunch At KFC For The New Faux Chicken Sandwich on August 4, 2008 in Vancouver, B.C."

First of all, we would never look to Pam Anderson's taste in food to determine what we're going to grab for dinner. Second, a faux chicken sandwich? Is that really what they're calling it? Because … ew. And, of course, we never trust anyone in a PETA shirt. It's just one of those basic rules, like looking both ways before you cross the street or never talking to strangers.

[Source]

• Pam Anderson appeared on Big Brother in Australia because evidently "we don't have it in America." Except … we do. [DListed]

• Will Smith and Jada tell each other ahead of time if they want to have sex with other people. Ooookay. [INO]

• Jessica Biel doesn't really care about marrying Justin Timberlake. That's good, because neither do we. [PS]

• If the world needs one thing, it's more wax statues of Miley Cyrus. [ICYDK]

• Amy Winehouse reportedly flashed her husband, Blake Incarcerated, while visiting him in prison. Blake then requested a longer sentence. [Yeeeah]

• Lauren Conrad almost has a Britney/Paris/Lindsay moment. [HT]

• Did Charlize Theron get plastic surgery? People with too much time on their hands want to know. [CityRag]

• Top 10 things overheard at Pam Anderson's birthday party. [Yeeeah]

• Reality TV is about to get even worse: Paris Hilton wants to do a show with Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. [INO]

• Heidi Klum should know better than to prance around town in her husband's jeans. [PS]

• Colin Farrell acts like a decent human being after hitting his neighbor's parked car. Taking notes, Brit? [ICYDK]

• Which one of the twerps from Home Improvement got tasered? [DListed]

• The most annoying reality show phrase in the history of television. [DListed]

• Amy Winehouse finally admits she took heroin while in rehab. Good to know she's taking her health and recovery seriously. [ICYDK]

• Speaking of Amy, she punched a fan. Nope, we're not recycling a story from last week — it just happened again. [Yeeeah]

• Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy share the same swimsuit, and we can't decide who looks beter. [HT]

• Who does E! think has the best beach body of all time? (Hint: We beg to differ.) [INO]

• Suri Cruise is starting to sprout her Scientology antenna. [PS]

America wasn't the only one celebrating a birthday this weekend — Pam Anderson took to Las Vegas in honor of turning 41. Naturally, she acted like most classy women celebrating their 40s: She slutted around looking as trashy as possible. If anyone needs a reason to love America, just check out her birthday photo album.

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SEVENTEENTH TIME'S THE CHARM "'Pamela and the kids have moved in with me,' said a beaming Tommy Lee (speaking, of course, of his ex-wife and sex-tape costar Pamela Anderson and their two sons, Brandon and Dylan). 'It’s awesome, man. It’s definitely working. You can tell on the kids’ faces — they’re happy when we’re together.'"

In order to not get sued for using them, we often have to "make a story" of the photos we put on the site, so, here's the story: This is a thrice-divorced, hepatitis-infected mother of two, presumably buzzing and definitely exposing her crotch to the entire party she's making awkward. It's a sad story, but a story nonetheless.

[Source]

• Here's how not to put the gay rumors to rest: Get really drunk and take pictures with a lot of girls. [Jossip]

• The newest addition to the Spears family train wreck will be named Emma Jean. [INO]

• We always knew it would come to this: Amy Winehouse. In diapers. Don't ask us why. [DListed]

• Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson keep getting more obnoxious by the day. [PS]

• The Brangelina crazies are going to have to relocate for a few years. [Us]

• Pam Anderson says she spent Memorial Day with the love of her life. So she was alone, then? [ICYDK]

When you picture Mother's Day, you likely imagine flowers and brunch and happy moments with Mom — but thank goodness for Hollywood, which serves as a reminder that this special holiday isn't always picture perfect.

After the jump, a look at how some of our favorite celebrities honored mothers everywhere, complete with a rating on how well their moms fared in the rearing of their children.

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This weekend's White House Correspondents' Dinner had a long list of inappropriate guests, but we found our top five: Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, Pam Anderson, Perez Hilton, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, and the Jonas Brothers. Now the vote is up to you: Who should have been uninvited?

[Source]

Pamela Anderson was recently humiliated when autograph seekers approached her while she was with her sons and asked her to sign nude photographs. Ewwwwww!

The former Baywatch babe said she was embarrassed when the autograph hunters approached her as she left a basketball game, brandishing the saucy shots. She says she tried to get away - but not before her sons noticed what was going on.

She said: “At a [Los Angeles] Lakers game, someone was trying to shove these naked pictures at me for me to sign.” She tells the March issue of BlackBook magazine: “[Later] in the car, [the boys] go, ‘Mum, they were trying to get you to sign naked pictures.”

Ummm, Pamela, do you remember that you have a porno tape out there? Worrying about the nude photos of you floating around is like someone in the electric chair worrying about a hangnail.

Get rid of those shitty implants and get a really good therapist on retainer.

[Source]

On Monday, Page Six ran this Blind Item:

WHICH Tinseltown sex siren with a humanitarian streak has resumed her old habit of dabbling with heroin? She paid a recent visit to an old rock star friend and joined him in narcotic stupor

I immediately figured it was a Pam Anderson/Tommy Lee thing and moved on with my life. Today, however, in covering this Marilyn Manson dating scandal, Page Six revealed a new tidbit that may just change my mind (and break my spirit) on that last item:

Another Manson-watcher tells Page Six he's also close pals with Brad Pitt's paramour, Angelina Jolie - who caught up with the rock star when she was in L.A. a little over five months ago. "They've known each other for a long time," said our source, "since she was way more wild than she is now - they are still good friends, though."

Hold up. Is this a hint on the earlier blind item? Would Angelina do that? This makes my brain hurt.

After the jump, an unrelated blind item just for fun.

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At least Pam's Gams looked hot. These photos were sent in by my friends Tony and Nesa who were in Vegas for New Years and opted to attend the Pam Anderson/Pauly Shore/Usher/Jamie Foxx party. Unfortunately, my photogs missed the Jamie Foxx portion of the evening (thank god, for their sake), but they managed to get some shots of the rest of the evening's mayhem. Pauly and Pam looked like they were getting extra cozy as co-hosts of the party. Hey, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas…and on the Internet…and probably in the form of new diseases transmitted through face licking.

[Many thanks to Tony for sending in the pics]

• Victoria Beckham's nipples can't seem to agree on a direction. [DListed]

• Well the Oprah/James Frye thing was certainly my most skin crawlingly uncomfortable moment of 2006. [BWE]

• Someone get Elisha Cuthbert a doctor, she seems to be unable to close her mouth. [PopSugar]

• Is the real scandal that Nicole Kidman is really married to Billy Ray Cyrus? [CityRag]

• Not to those wanting to date Pam Anderson: do not call her pretty. Or probably ask to see her boobs. [A Socialite's Life]

• Jennifer Aniston sacrifies dolls on the beach. Multi-ethnic ones perhaps? [Yeeeah]

• The Naughty Celebs of 2006. [TMZ]

• Jennifer Garner won't talk shit about Jennifer Lopez…but you know she sort of wants to. [PopSugar]

• A young Jake Gyllenhaal. Plus, I love Jenna Malone. [DListed]

• Beyonce has her own personal fluffer. Heh hehe. [OAN]

• Solve the mystery of what Diddy actually does. [BWE]

• Let's relive Anne Hathaway's most embarrassing moment. [Egotastic]

• Britney and Paris are totes Splitney. [A Socialite's Life]

• Cameron Diaz loves fake boobs in a woman. [CityRag]

• Sex Advice from Tabloid Journalists vs. Sex Advice from Bloggers. Fight. [Nerve]

• In honor of Pam Anderson's newly single status, Playboy is featuring an old, completely freaky photoshoot. [DListed]

• Guys like Rachel Bilson for her confidence…among other things. [HollywoodTuna]

• Dina Lohan: Couger on the prowl. [A Socialite's Life]

• Angelina Jolie is open to getting a verbal beatdown from Jennifer Aniston. [People]

• Apparently someone didn't enjoy Son in Law as much as I did. [BWE]

• Adriana Lima in a bikini, because I don't think we got enough scantily clan women 'round these parts. [Egotastic]

• Sienna Miller blames the sauce for her stupidity. [Junkiness]

• Gisele has one true love. Is it you? [Hot Momma Gossip]

• Is this cheesy chick the reason for Jen and Vince's break-up? [DListed]

• Well, here's one thing you can do that Paris, Lindsay and Britney can't. [BWE]

• Mmm, yeah Pam, that whole marriage to Kid Rock thing may have been a rad impulsive. [A Socialite's Life]

• OMG! OMG! We are sooooo going to New Year's in Vegas! [I'm Not Obsessed]

• Nope, still not legal to hope for a Hayden Panettiere wardrobe malfunction, dude. [Egotastic]

• Jack Bauer is gearing up to kill again. [PopSugar]