Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "Wanna know why I have on a hood today? Why I'm so theatrical? Because your photo shoot was theatrical — at the awards ceremony for the Fiercees. So for this judging I decided to be Little Black Riding Hood." — Tyra, America's Next Top Model
Paris Hilton confuses us, because 90 percent of the time she is an insufferable twit who puts out crappy music and perfume — but then there's that other 10 percent where she's actually slightly funny and seem to be in on the joke. The clip above, courtesy of Funny or Die, is one of those times. Ah, Paris. Why can't you just let us hate you?
So, who's checked out this record-breaking Beverly Hills Chihuahua, the film that prompted one critic to remark, "Paris Hilton and lower-level office workers who own calendars featuring Weimaraners wearing hats will love it."
If you saw it, was it worth it? If yes, really?
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "My team is a bunch of freakin' hooganigans." — Heat, I Love Money
The always well-spoken and put-together Anne Hathaway stopped in to chat with David Letterman last night about her new movie, Rachel Getting Married, and — oh yeah — her con artist of an ex-boyfriend. Despite Dave's peppering tactics, Anne managed to make it through the interview with some humor and without sounding like too much of an ass. Sure, she gets a little sarcastic from time to time, but she actually speaks about the situation without the typical "no comment." Paris, are you taking notes?
Can you believe we actually suffered through Paris Hilton's My New BFF last night? And — even crazier than that — we didn't feel the urge to stab ourselves in the eyes? We realized that once you sit through A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, you can sit through anything.
Anyway, the contestant who makes this show bearable is Onch, a jewelry designer from Hacienda Heights, Calif. Onch's favorite color is rainbow (seriously) and prefers the term "pomp" over "fabulous." Also? Onch is a male. Some of the contestants confused him for a girl at first, which was kind of awesome, but we don't even look at Onch as any specific gender. He's just kind of … there. It's weird. Onch wore a beautiful necklace last night made out of rainbow pretzels and was just magnificently entertaining throughout the entire hour of horrible television. We did some research, and it turns out this lovely being has already been in a feud with Chris Crocker, so you know he's just a tiny train wreck waiting to crash.
Onch, 1; the rest of those losers, 0.
Paris Hilton, the original reality TV queen of bad music, released a new single on Ryan Seacrest's radio show, where bogus artists go to debut their latest travesties. The song, titled "My BFF," is basically another way to hawk her terrible new reality show, which we will be watching only for the good of Reality Bytes (and to warn our dear readers of the monstrosities we will surely face).
Interested in how terrible the new song is? You can listen here or just sample some of the genius lyrics:
Could you be the one I waaaaaant? (My best friend)
Could you be the one I neeeeeed? (My best friend)
All of my life, don't you know I've been waitiiiiiing (For a best friend)
Could you be the one I waaaaaant? (My best friend)
Yep, it's that bad.
[Source]
Whoops, guys, while you were siphoning gas from your neighbors and stockpiling canned meats, Paris Hilton(TM) managed to find another way to keep making money.
• OK! magazine was not interested in Clay Aiken's coming out story, claiming it wasn't a big deal. Yeah, why feature a talked-about story when you can have a cover like the one above? Good move, OK! [INO]
• Jennifer Aniston takes a break from being America's Punching Bag to vacation in Mexico. Life is rough. [Yeeeah]
• Things too awkward for words: Samantha Ronson in a bikini. [HT]
• Kelly Osbourne struggled with a possible pregnancy at 13. When I was 13 I was struggling to remember not to throw my retainer away in the cafeteria's trash bins. To each her own. [ICYDK]
• Mark Wahlberg wasn't so creative with the baby names — that's a good thing. [DListed]
• DJ AM put his recovery on hold to attend a memorial service for one of the victims of the deadly plane crash. [PS]
It would be unrealistic to say the end is near for TMZ.com, the gossip website founded by Harvey Levin that Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic tirade put on the map. But all signs are pointing to trouble for the AOL-Telepictures celebrity venture. Readership is down. So is revenue. Top staffers are leaving. The spin-off show TMZ has lost its buzz. And TMZ.com just saw People.com overtake it for the No. 2 spot of most-visited celebrity websites (Yahoo's OMG is No. 1, thanks to all of the search giant's traffic dumping).
Oh, and that's on top of growing backlash within the gossip industry, as competing mainstream tabloid outlets, bloggers, and (we suspect, if traffic levels are any indication) readers are growing increasingly disgusted for what qualifies as "content" on the site.
Has TMZ already hit its peak — and started snowballing toward implosion? From numerous conversations with TMZ insiders, Levin confidantes, industry players, and fellow bloggers, the answer is a resounding "yes."
WE WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR… "Contrary to Internet reports, two of Paris Hilton's dogs were not eaten by a coyote. They're not only alive, but living better than many humans."
Paris Hilton may sometimes be a little ditzy when it comes to her pet-collecting tendencies (haha remember that monkey?) but at least she never managed to kill any of them. Sure there was that time the heiress left her cat at the vets for so long they had to bring it back to her, but when you own a San Diego Zoo's worth of lemurs and kinkajous, it's sort of hard to keep track of your 17 unusually small dogs and other "normal" animals.
Whoops…did we say 17? Make that 15.
DARLING NICKY: THE HILTON BLACK SHEEP? Hey now! Despite her sister being a vehement racist and her parents and grandparents being major McCain campaign donors, Nicky Hilton, the one whose privates you can't google, was reportedly at Barack Obama's $28,000 a plate fund raising dinner Tuesday night, seated at the same table as Leonardo DiCaprio. Wonder how daddy feels about his money becoming Obama's money?
A full rundown of the guests and their seating assignments is here.
Paris Hilton's ode to herself, MTV's Paris Hilton's My New BFF, debuts Sept. 30 with 16 women and two men competing to be her "paparazzi-ready" best friend. While hyping the show, Hilton said 300,000 people applied for the cast.
Like the story she tells suitors about being drug and disease free, this is a lie.
LA sucks for many reasons, but one big one is its mayor, Anthony Villaraigosa. It's hard to trust a guy who sits around chatting with Paris Hilton while eating succulent bone-in lamb chops. It's even harder to trust a guy who outright lies about how much time he dedicates to his public service, saying he works 18 hours a day while actually putting in 13, many of which are dedicated to traveling and winning office again.
After the jump, a look at Mayor Villaraigosa's use of time from May to August of this year, according to whistle-blowing paper the LA Weekly.
CONTINUED »
• Brad Altman made an honest man out of Sulu. [DListed]
• Since when is 15-year-old Nick Jonas rumored to be dating Kim Kardashian? [ICYDK]
• Paris Hilton and Heidi Montag debut the latest Hollywood trend. [HT]
• Britney Spears threw a birthday party for her two kids; everyone survived. [PS]
• Nicole Kidman isn't letting anyone catch a glimpse of daughter Sunday Rose. [INO]
• A brief description of Matthew McConaughey's new Oscar-worthy movie: "The dude needs a wave, and there’s never been a drought like this." [Yeeeah]
We can only hope that after this photo was taken Britney Spears told the Jonas Brothers to run for their lives. If there's anything interesting about the VMAs, it's the interactions behind the scenes between stars who would normally never speak to each other. For more audience and backstage photos, click through. CONTINUED »
• Another adorable animal bites the dust. Life isn't fair. [DListed]
• Demi Lovato, one of the newest little Disney stars, fell on stage during a performance. The good news is people are going to know her name for a couple days. [Yeeeah]
• The Hills' Whitney Port and her new boyfriend need to work on coordinating their outfits a little more successfully. [INO]
• All these photos of Britney Spears shopping in LA remind us of the Sam Lutfi days, and those aren't good memories. [PS]
• Aubrey O'Day is offended that people compare her to Paris Hilton. Paris agrees. [ICYDK]
• Hayden Panettiere shouldn't look this weird in a bikini. [HT]
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