Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I look at this picture and I think H2-Oh no you didn't girrrrrl. It's fierce." — Tyra, America's Next Top Model
Paula Abdul made an appearance on the Morning Show with Mike and Juliet to talk about American Idol. Obviously someone needs to be upping her dosage, because she was a mess. Not that we're surprised. She rambles about splitting her brain in half and then announces her picks for the final four — which includes five of the contestants, naturally.
In Style magazine takes us into star closets in their latest issue. Inside the palatial walk-ins, it's an age-old contradiction: such full wardrobes and such empty people.
Jamie-Lynn Sigler laughs that, until she paid to have her closet organized, she would often come across clothes she forgot she had. "With the tags still on them!" she howls. Mariah Carey boasts of owning over 1,000 pairs of shoes, many of which go unused in storage. Kimora Lee Simmons has 500 pairs of jeans in her 49,000-square-foot home.
Even though it is inanely sized, Mariah Carey's shoe collection could only outfit one percent of the homeless schoolchildren in California.
Crazy is indeed a universal language: Watch as a woman auditions for Bulgarian Idol with Mariah Carey's smash hit, "Ken Lee." See what you've started, William Hung?
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I only arm-wrestle women. Pregnant women, usually." — Matt, The Bachelor
Simon Cowell stopped by The Oprah Winfrey Show today to pay off a family's mortgage after it was revealed the parents are struggling financially in the wake of their young daughter's debilitating cancer.
In the clip above, he takes us on a backstage tour of American Idol, where he bickers with Ryan Seacrest and discusses the crazy that is "Pauler" — and then he predicts this season's winner.
Paula Abdul stopped by the Late Show With David Letterman last night to promote her insanity, prompting Dave to make sure she wasn't intoxicated.
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "Watching Ambre and Kristy Joe tap dance was quite interesting. Ambre? Fantastic. Kristy Joe? It was like watching a monkey on crack." — Bret Michaels, Rock of Love 2
During last night's American Idol, Paula Abdul veered from her typical drunken routine in favor of an impression of Saturday Night Live character Nicholas Fehn. Watch and learn.
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "These pigs are like, seriously, they went to college or something. Because they are a lot smarter than they look." — Daisy, Rock of Love 2
Paula Abdul kind of snuck up on us today. She surprisingly admitted her video isn't that great, and then she provided us with a great new phrase we will be implementing in every conversation possible.
She doesn’t think it’s Heidi Montag-bad, but she’s still trying to pretend like it didn’t happen. If Randy [Jackson] wasn’t involved, she’d be more vocal about it, but she does appreciate the fact that he was involved.
The source goes on to say that Paula has a newfound perspective on what the American Idol finalists are experiencing: "She's going to go really easy on them." Thank goodness, because we were starting to get offended by some of the harsh criticisms served up by Paula.
[Source]
Above is a still from the Smashing Pumpkins' absolutely enthralling video for "Tonight, Tonight," below is a still from Paula Abdul's "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow." "Tonight, Tonight" is on top for a reason.
After the jump, "believe" in music videos again, if only for four and a half minutes.
CONTINUED »
Here it is, folks: Paula Abdul's music video for "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow." … We have no words.
Here's Paula Abdul's absolutely terrible pre-taped Super Bowl performance, which highlights the choreographer/singer's new single and completely belies her job titles.
The song to which she lip syncs is called "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow" and Jossip overlord David Hauslaib thinks there's a possibility Abdul didn't sing the original. ("Not her voice," he speculates.) If that is, indeed, the case and the music industry finds out, it will be shaken to the core in a way it hasn't since the rise and fall of Milli Vanilli. Quelle scandale!
• Members of the Jossip family dared question Mrs. Huxtable and Darth Vader! [SH]
• It's the 20th anniversary of Sweatin' to the Oldies! And yet, Americans: Fatter than ever. New methods, Simmons. [DListed]
• Kate Winslet does what Nicole Kidman won't. So now it's this and aging gracefully. [PS]
• Halle Berry: "I want to stay pregnant forever." Mormons, that's your cue: Ready, set, convert! [ICYDK]
• What exactly is Style Your Slim? And why such an awkward name? [INO]
• In case you missed it, Jezebel: "Man, I love this skank! I know most of you hate this chick, but for me Heidi Montag defines everything I want in a woman: dumb, fake, hot-bodied, and most importantly, useless." [HT]
• Paula Abdul is apparently not all there, but you knew that. [Yeeeah]
• TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! [CityRag]
• "Chhattisgarh priest kills himself, promises rebirth" [Reuters]
• This Scottish seagull has taught itself steal Tangy Cheese Doritos! Too bad potheads are too lazy to catch seagulls. [BWE]
• Eva Longoria's spoof sex tape is probably only slightly less boring than any real sex tape she could make. [HT]
• Britney wants Chris Crocker to follow his own advice. [DListed]
• Barely legal teens these days are so quick to get over their n00dz. [INO]
• Some kids are just evil, right? Like The Bad Seed? [ICYDK]
• Paula Abdul wants babies, but only for the epidurals. [Yeeeah]
• What ever happened to the jumpsuit? [CityRag]
• Zahara's got a natural 'do. Nice choice, Jolie. [PS]
Vertical Horizon and Fantasia: integral parts of yet another major reason to avoid at all costs parties hosted by Paula Abdul.
Working as Paula Abdul's assistant is a masochistic lesson in mythology, because all your tasks are simultaneously Herculean and Sisyphean. Above, watch her throw a tantrum because all the airlines have selfishly grounded flights they were afraid might crash and kill hundreds of people. After the jump, listen closely for this cry for adoration: "I'm tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am." (I think I'm more tired of people not treating her.) And, though there's no irritating video evidence, today's Page Six shares another quirk about American Idol's own Baby Wets-A-Lot:
A spy says, "There's a salon chair in her house where she gets her hair and makeup done every day. She'll sit in it, set an alarm, and then, because she's on so many painkillers, pass out while her hair and makeup guy gets her ready for the day. When the alarm goes off she'll wake up, and God forbid the poor guy isn't done yet. All hell breaks loose."
What fun!
Editor
