• The light almost came for Pete Doherty after yet another drug overdose. [DListed]

• Thanks to a misguided notion that America wants to see more of him on the big screen, Tom Cruise announced he is searching for more comedic movie roles. [ICYDK]

• Things we never thought we'd see again: Britney Spears looking good in a bikini. [HT]

• Harry Potter wants to be a drag queen. Naturally. [INO]

• We had almost forgotten about Josh Hartnett, so of course new reports are claiming that he's got a sex tape. [Yeeeah]

• It's a miracle! Christina Aguilera isn't wearing her red lipstick. [PS]

[Source]

• Great moments from the 2008 Olympics. [CityRag]

• Paula Abdul totally hates the new American Idol judge. [INO]

• The greatest love of Brad Pitt's life: George Clooney. [PS]

• Rihanna and Chris Brown are moving in together. We're going to continue not caring. [DListed]

• Pete Doherty desperately tries to stay in the spotlight by selling out Kate Moss and Amy Winehouse. [Yeeeah]

• Jennifer Aniston is sporting a new ring. OMG! Alert the media! [ICYDK]

You didn't think Pete Doherty was the first rock star to toy with fascist imagery, did you?

Here's David Bowie pulling his famous Sieg Heil in 1976 at London's Victoria Station.

Drugs and alcohol: making people do stuff they probably shouldn't since forever.

A German paper – yes, ze stoic Germanz are celebrity-obsessed, too! – is reporting that quirky junkie Pete Doherty openly consumed drugs and alcohol at a recent performance in Spain before ending his set with a good old-fashioned Nazi salute (pictured). Heyo!

Doherty's mother is half Jewish, so we assume he's being ironic, but who knows? Our brother once did so much acid he thought he was a spider going down the drain, causing him to violently yank down the shower curtain and weep and weep. Perhaps Petey really thought he was Goebbels with a guitar.

By the by, the paper titled this photo "Pete Doherty Hitlergruss." (Translation appreciated.)

For every great idea like Dingo Drop '08, there's also a really, really terrible one — hence the latest revelation that Amy Winehouse plans to volunteer to help drug addicts.

One of Amy's "friends" says that, despite obvious evidence to the contrary, the singer "has turned a corner" and "wants to make a difference and give something back to people who are battling with addictions." Considering all of Amy's friends at the moment are addicts (see also: Pete Doherty), we'll chalk this up to drug-fueled ramblings.

[Source]

• Daisy from Rock of Love 2 has hit the big time! [DListed]

• Does anybody else feel uncomfortable looking at NSFW pictures of Sienna Miller and her new cheating boyfriend? [PS]

• Why does anyone bother issuing a warrant for Pete Doherty? It's not like he's going to be held accountable for anything. [ICYDK]

• Salma Hayek called off her engagement. Cue the chirping crickets. [INO]

• Jennifer Aniston's "necessary tune-ups" include spending $20,000 a month on anti-cellulite treatments and things of that nature. [Yeeeah]

• Rachel Bilson owns the ugliest shorts ever. [HT]

WHO IS FLUENT IN CRACK TALK? "British rocker Pete Doherty is reportedly set to lay bare the details of his stormy relationship with ex-girlfriend Kate Moss in a new autobiography. Babyshambles frontman Doherty has teamed up with author and ex-drug addict Sean Boru to write the 'intensely personal biography' which will focus heavily on the 29-year-old's tumultuous relationship with the supermodel. Boru says: 'The whole premise of the book is Pete talking about Kate Moss and the sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll lifestyle they shared.'"

For some reason that makes sense to him and the junkie brain stewing in his skull, Pete Doherty has uploaded to YouTube a video of himself bathing. It's both gross and surreal, and very reminiscent of one of our favorite scenes from Gummo, Harmony Korine's apocalyptic treasure. Click through and let the discomfort get in every nook and cranny.

CONTINUED »

For all the negative publicity Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Incarcerated, receives, the guy actually has a good idea from time to time. This week, he tried to hire someone from inside prison to kill Pete Doherty after seeing a picture of him with Amy and assuming the two were doing drugs and sleeping together (of course they are). He approached an ex-bouncer who may or may not have been involved in murder before and who spoke to The Sun about the encounter:

We were sitting in my cell and he said, ‘If you get Doherty for me I’ll give you £20,000.’ He kept saying, ‘Can you arrange it?’ and telling me to get some guys to his house. He knew the address. He said, ‘Amy’s obviously sleeping with him.’

He knew I used to be a doorman and knew some tough people. He said he wanted him smashed to pieces.

Can someone remind us again how Blake landed in prison for all these months, yet Amy — who can now add "racist" to her resume — is still roaming the streets after continually demonstrating that she is a threat to herself and others?

[Source]

• The Democratic presidential nomination process, summed up in eight short minutes. [SH]

• Amy Winehouse's father thinks she should have a baby to stay off the drugs. Because we saw how well caring for another living thing worked out for Pete Doherty and his cats. [DListed]

• It's safe to say Anne Hathaway should probably breakup with her sketchy boyfriend. [TMZ]

• Paris Hilton and her stupid reality show went to Vegas, where we're sure the remaining contestants fit right in amongst the tramps and STDs. [PS]

• File this under Best Idea Ever: Brokeback Mountain will be turned into an opera. [Us]

• Why did Dunkin Donuts pull this ad featuring Rachel Ray and her scarf? [HP]

• Patrick Swayze says he's responding well to treatment. No jokes, just sending good vibes his way. [People]

• Fans of Indiana Jones have too much time on their hands if they've already pointed out 40 mistakes since the movie's release last weekend. [ICYDK]

• Just as expected, Pete Doherty has killed one of his cats. Where the hell is PETA in all this? [DListed]

• Today's portion of the R. Kelly trial will deal with threesomes that may or may not involve an underage child. Good clean fun. [SH]

Pete Doherty just posted a new video to his YouTube account, and it is a complete and utter nightmare, to put it mildly. Amy Winehouse is still around, and the two have decided to nurture some tiny baby mice. Oh, and Pete's poor kittens are still miraculously alive. Hopefully PETA will stop putting whores in cages and actually do something worthwhile, like taking these innocent little animals away from the two worst pet owners on the planet.

A MOVABLE FEAST "Pete Doherty … the junkie rocker, has purchased three more cats – taking his tally to ten. If a house full of [cats] wasn’t enough, Pete thought it would be a good idea to buy pregnant mice to roam around his Wiltshire home as the perfect feast for his kitties."

Musician Pete Doherty emerged from prison this morning draped in rosaries. The world is once more his drug den.

Pete Doherty is being released from prison after serving 29 days of a 98-day sentence for parole violations. This despite the fact that Doherty was doing so much heroin behind bars that unpaid dealers had plans to cripple him.

According to a friend of Doherty's, when he's released Tuesday, he's "planning to go straight to play a gig — and then get smashed." Weird that jail didn't rehabilitate him, huh?

Ahlamdo-Lillah! Pete Doherty is reportedly studying Islam while imprisoned for his many probation violations, because that's what one does while in jail. A "friend" of Doherty's told UK paper The Sun: "I’m surprised how much it has calmed him down as he was very on edge inside. He definitely seems more chilled. He’s lapping it up and really interested in it. I think it’s helping him in there." Related: English prisoners now calling moonshine "Islam."

DOH!(ERTY) "[Pete Doherty] is thousands of pounds in debt. Now he has been evicted from his sprawling nine-bedroom mansion after wrecking the place over the past year. Popping over to check on the place the landlord was horrified to find that his beautiful country pad had become a stinking hovel. The walls, floor and even some of the windows have been daubed with human blood. And we're told the stench from his abandoned nine cats is so strong it would turn the strongest stomach. After taking one look at the carnage, the landlord cancelled Doherty's tenancy."

Genius junkie Pete Doherty has been sentenced to 14 weeks in jail for violating his probation. At an earlier hearing in which he narrowly avoided jail time, Petey was ordered to stay away from sweet, numbing drugs, but he ignored that request; now the lawman's patience is gone. But: fools! Everyone knows British prisons have the purest dope.