• Hey! What'd you do with that vomitous guttersnipe to whom we've grown so accustomed? [DListed]

• Justin talks about Britney on Oprah! (That sentence is so fucking famous it doesn't need last names.) [INO]

• Does the word "upskirt" give anyone else the chills? [HT]

• Vanessa Hudgens: Before her vagina was also famous. [Yeeeah]

• "Westminster Dog Show Tickets on Sale!" Be sure to get good seats for the loneliest show on earth! [CityRag]

• So I guess this guy didn't get the memo regarding putting the kibosh on bragging about dating Britney Spears. [ICYDK]

Models who can't take regular pictures are just as irritating to be around as stockbrokers who ask you what your "portfolio" looks like before the first course even comes.

[Source]

For months now, Sanjaya Malakar has faced the wrath of thousands. At just 17, his mere participation in a stupid game show has provoked a level of hatred and ridicule some men don't see until they've made awful trespasses after a career spanning decades.

But it appears that Sanjaya is getting the last laugh. He's attending the White House Correspondents' Dinner, taking cute pictures with models and stepping out with huge feet, which, despite all the evidence to the contrary, really make you hope that this kid's packing a microphone big enough silence all the haters.

Congrats, Sanjaya! Now that you've proven yourself unexceptional, it's time to start attending important events and cashing large checks. That's the new American way, idol or not.

[Source]

• It's Endless Summer for Matthew McConaughey. [X17]

• Lindsay Lohan doesn't care about her wrists, cause she don't need 'em to practice her signature high kicks. [TMZ]

• Spring Break in Bosnia. Sounds….interesting. [Smart]

• Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson's chemistry is amazing. So is their shared love of weed. [PopSugar]

• Is Sarah Jessica Parker pregs again or just, ya knnow, holding an object. [Splash]

• Petra Nemcova diets a lot and has taken laxatives. Sounds (like her bathroom must have been) hot. [The Superficial]

• Though it's a little harsh to ask Clay Aiken point blank on television if he is gay, it sure is fun to watch him squirm. [BWE]

• Katie Holmes might play Victoria Beckham in a David Beckham biopic. Well, we know she's got the you know whats already. [DListed]

• Wow, Mischa Barton totally admits why she was fired from The OC. [Hollywood Rag]

Hooray for fashion! And Fergie! And Brooke Hogan! Apparently Fergie jumped a very young schoolboy and shoved herself into his uniform. And though Ms. Hogan isn't rocking her grillz, she did seem to forget the bottom half of her outfit. (I still contend that I think she's a pretty girl, just shouldn't be allowed to dress herself.) So, for this lovely Labor day long weekend you should leave your mini tie, half dress shirt, and child-sized porn star dress at home, because otherwise your friends might think you're trying to cop these ladies steez.

Got some more VMA pics on the side of some slightly better dresses. Other than DanKan, who are beautiful women, but should stop dressing like cheesy game show hostesses. Oh, and don't forget to check out the rest of Jossip's VMA red carpet videos on YouTube.

Have gorgeous Labor Day weekends, each and every one of you. I'm going to be gallivanting around Los Angeles with my eyes peeled and my best memory in hand (though that's not saying much).

Don't wander too far, nibbles. I'll be back here on Tuesday with stories and quite possibly a nasty sunburn.

Kisses and Champagne for Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner,
Molly

• Michelle Rodriguez loves prison almost as much as she loves her short shorts! [DListed]

• Naomi Campbell caught wind of the hottest trend since Anorexia '05 and wants a baby of her own (to throw things at). [A Socialite's Life]

• Available soon at a Toys R Us near you: Babies First Scandal, so your infant can feel as special as Shiloh. [Gallery of the Absurd]

• So all this press about Russell Crowe being Mr. Nice Guy is a load of crap? It sounded a bit fishy. [Celebitchy]

• Petra Namcova caught James Blunt's eye, as she walked on by, and he could tell by her face…that she was, fucking smoking. [Egotastic]

• Kate Moss moves from a hardcore drug addict boyfriend to a hardcore sex addict boyfriend. I guess that's a step in the right direction. [Faded Youth]

• Angelina covered up her Billy Bob tattoo with the coordinates of her children's birthplaces. Expect copycat tats of where people were when they learned of Shiloh's birth. [US Weekly]