At left is the image that was emblazoned on the worst t-shirt I've ever owned. I just saw an awkward boy in the subway wearing it and I cringed at the thought that I once looked LIKE THAT.

I paid $10 to a street vendor for the boxy white thing when I was 14, and wore it only when my mother wasn't going to see me. I stopped wearing it completely after an English teacher I very much admired called me over after class one day, pointed at "Tom" and whispered, "This thing is very unbecoming on you."

What's the worst shirt you've ever owned?

Blood is in the water surrounding ex-Governor Eliot Spitzer and it's a goddamn feeding frenzy of pimps, hookers and newsmen.

All three converged to spit up the Post's lead story today, a poorly written attack piece about yet another prostitute who claims to have serviced the fallen politico. The headline proclaims, "AND THERE HE HO'S AGAIN". Of course, the boldness of ALL CAPS is belied by the article's infirm linchpin: "A source said [the prostitute] personally serviced Spitzer."

New York, I love you, but you're bringing me down.

Ashley Youmans, the Jersey prostitute so enticing she made Eliot Spitzer forget he could maybe one day be President, was once also a plaything of famed whoremonger Charlie Sheen, according to a report out of the UK.

Pimp Jason Itzler, 41, claims he sent [Youmans] under the name of Victoria and another girl, Cheryl, to Sheen more than two years ago …

He claims Sheen paid $20,000 for a threesome with the girls dressed up as cheerleaders.

"Sheen got the girls to dress up as cheerleaders and chant his name while performing sex acts. They loved Charlie. They said he was a great guy. A great lover. One time he had them dressed up like cheerleaders, chanting 'Charlie! Charlie! He's our man. If he can't do it, nobody can!'"

Sheen's publicist says that even if the "alleged cheerleader incident" did happen, it happened 15 years ago. Translation: "The cheerleader incident did happen, just not with Youmans."