Tonight's the night! Tonight's the night where we see what Babs had to say to president-elect Barack Obama and Michelle on ABC, although the clips going around right now just involve Obama saying auto-industry CEOs that charter their own private planes are "a little tone-deaf," and then talking more about keeping his BlackBerry once he gets into office. Sort of a weird juxtaposition don't you think, ABC? Like that's actually the order the interview goes in: first question, automotive industry CEOs and the hypocrisy of those in charge; second question, what are you going to do with your cellphone provider once you are leader of the free world?
Behold, an article of great importance in Saturday's Chicago Sun-Times:
What really thrills me, what really feels liberating in a very personal way, is the official new prominence of Michelle Obama. The president-elect's better half not only has stature but is statuesque. She has coruscating intelligence, beauty, style and — drumroll, please — a butt. (Yes, you read that right: I'm going to talk about the first lady's butt.)
Unlike, say, Barack Obama, Saturday Night Live had no problem filling that Rahm Emanuel spot during this week's broadcast. Because although there is only one African-American cast member right now on the show, there's at least 50 Jews hanging out in the green room.
Welp, Lorne Michaels has (begrudgingly, we're sure) decided to hire a new cast member for Saturday Night Live, this one a black male who can pretend to be Barack Obama in poorly written comedy sketches for the next four to eight years. Currently, Fred Armisen, who's of Hispanic, European and Japanese descent, plays the role of Obama on SNL.
After the jump, two of the front-runners in the search for the fake Barack, Wyatt Cenac and Jordan Carlos. We think Carlos has him beat, but who knows! SNL hasn't made any good decisions in years.
David Letterman, still irked that John McCain chose to go on Katie Couric instead of his show, calls up the perky CBS news anchor and demands an explanation. Her excuse? McCain never mentioned that he was supposed to be on The Late Show.
What a liar! Also, keep ridin' that zeitgeist, Dave!
It's sad that at a time when Senator John McCain is doing the admirable thing and going back to his public duties, the tattered remnants of his campaign just can't seem to fade away.
Last week it was the whole Sarah Palin/Martin Eisendstadt hoax, then it was whether or not GOP apologist Bill Lieberman would be able to keep his place in the senate, and now we're into the real meat of the issue: what's going to happen to Joe the Plumber??
Don't worry guys, he's got it covered. Just like we originally guesstimated, Joe is getting his own book deal.
Oh that liberal elite media and its terrible sense of humor! Everyone needs to get their heads checked, because Stephen Baldwin was simply making a hilarious joke when he said he would leave the country if Barack Obama became president. According to our least favorite Baldwin brother, "The liberal Democrats who didn't get that I was joking need to lighten up." Here's a thought, Steve-O: Perhaps everyone knew you were joking but, deep down, secretly hoped that you were serious and would pack your bags after Nov. 4.
The Jesus Freak (minus the Jesus) also takes issue with — surprise! — gay marriage: "If they legalize gay marriage in all 50 states in my lifetime, I'll get a Billy Ray Cyrus tattoo on my butt to go with the Hannah Montana one." Even more of a reason to help out the gays.
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Fresh off his role as the punchline to Gov. Mike Huckabee's presidential bid, Chuck Norris is taking a fresh stab at politics by weighing in on Proposition 8 protests. In an op-ed called "If Democracy Doesn't Work, Try Anarchy," he cries, "Where are the hate-crime cops when religious conservatives need them?"
The whole piece is a gobbledygook of half truths, race-baiting and feigned outrage that form a sort of Greatest Hits list of Yes On 8 talking points over the last week. Even though we've disproved these things half a dozen times already, we'll break it down again, because if there's one thing public education has proven it's that endless repetition can reach even the dimmest of minds.
Columnist, author and drinker Christopher Hitchens says a Hillary Clinton appointment to the Obama Cabinet would be a "ludicrous embarrassment for the President and for the country." Among other things, Hitchens notes that Hillary Clinton's race-baiting during her campaign for the Democratic nomination — "Senator Obama’s support among … hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again…" — makes her unfit to serve with America's first half-black president.
Now that she's done with that whole running for Vice President of the United States thing, Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin is kicking back and relaxing poolside in an XXL T-shirt (guess she had to return all those fancy elitist clothes) and a tabloid in hand. Of course, it's not all fun and games: The Protector Against Russia was in Miami to attend the Republican Governor's Conference. Hard at work!
(Check out the rest of the photos here.)
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Tim Robbins' self-righteousness is quickly becoming the only reason I'd ever vote Republican. You know, just to piss him off.
This Huffington Post rant is naturally in regards to Tim Robbins having his constitutional right to vote taken away from him…because he showed up at the wrong polling place and made such a scene that the police where called. Of course he could apologize and admit a mistake, but nope. Shawshank Redemption here is going to dig himself in a little deeper.
Now that there's no more election (or Tina Fey or Amy Poehler), Saturday Night Live got back to the basics this weekend: Surprise celebrity guest stars and men in women's clothing. For this episode (featuring adorable host Paul Rudd), Justin Timberlake showed up to seem likable for five minutes during a skit involving a Beyonce music video shoot. The former boy bander has become quite the tool as of late, but he always manages to be fairly awesome when he's on this show, so we approve.
Human grease trap Bill O'Reilly appeared on the ever-popular Daily Show last night to goofily spar with Jon Stewart and show how he can be "with it, like the Negroes." No, he didn't say that, but you know he was thinking it in his fat, two-bit head.
For a good 10 minutes, the two polar opposites mocked one another in an awkward dance of an interview that can be summed up like this:
O'Reilly: You liberal queers in New York don't know the "real America."
Stewart: You sure are stupid, huh?
Sure, we suppose it's sort of funny to see Stewart grill O'Reilly about how his beliefs are absurd, but why give this man more airtime than he already gets on Fox News? Especially if you're not going to really run him over the coals for being a detestable piece of garbage.
The first part's above and the second is after the jump.
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Jay Newman, the pastor of St Mary Catholic Church in Greenville, SC, is asking parishioners who voted for Barack Obama to not present themselves for Communion until they've gone to confession and asked for forgiveness for cooperating with "intrinsic evil," "lest they eat and drink their own condemnation."
After the jump, this rotten, corrupted bastard Newman's letter of explanation:
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HILLARY THE NEW CONDOLEEZZA? • "We may soon be calling Hillary Rodham Clinton 'Madame Secretary.' The New York senator and former first lady is being considered for secretary of state by President-elect Barack Obama - an appointment that would go a long way toward healing the wounds left by their bruising Democratic primary battle. Two Obama advisers confirmed Clinton is under serious consideration, according to NBC News' Andrea Mitchell."
NORTON'S OBAMA DOC GAINS MOMENTUM • "A documentary, more than two years in the making, about President-elect Barack Obama’s campaign is gathering significant interest from international distributors just days after being picked up in the United States by HBO. A team of directors and editors backed by the actor Edward Norton is furiously editing the untitled project. Given the historic nature of Mr. Obama’s victory and worldwide interest in the presidential race, the film is drawing attention from the BBC and other foreign broadcasters. Since the HBO acquisition was announced, 'we’ve had an enormous number of incoming calls from territories all over the world,' said Andrew Hurwitz, an entertainment lawyer who is representing the film along with the talent agency Endeavor."
Meet Michaela Watkins, newest member of the SNL troupe, doing her Arianna impression. And ha! It's pretty good. Especially how she incorporated her dorm room or whatever into her audition tape.
But if Lorne Michaels was going the political route for the rest of the season and trying to keep cashing in on the post-election viewership, why not hire a guy who looks reasonably like Obama? Not that there is anything wrong with Fred Armisen, but he just plays it so straight, and it brings up that issue of how do you make fun of a guy who represents real change and hope for our country? Blah bah. You guys know what I'm talking about.
But hey, at least Michaela will make a good Michelle Obama? And her Arianna is still way better than Tracy Ullman's.
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