SF SHIT PLANT WON'T TAKE BUSH'S NAME "San Francisco voters have turned down the chance to rename a local sewage plant after President Bush. Voters rejected Proposition R, a lighthearted attempt to memorialize the outgoing president at the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant. The measure's supporters say calling it the George W. Bush Sewage Plant would have been a fitting tribute to the 43rd president. They blamed Bush for a long list of national woes from the Iraq war to the slumping economy. … The White House had declined comment on the measure, but other Republicans have denounced it as childish and stupid."

• Jessica Simpson continues to make weird faces while she sings. [HT]
• Diddy steps in dog poop. There is a Xenu! [DListed]
• Nobody calls John Mayer anymore, poor thing. [PS]
• Oprah filmed a guest stint on 30 Rock. If she's not giving away free stuff, we don't care. [INO]
• Alex Rodriguez and his ex-wife amicably settled their divorce case. Well, that was boring. [ICYDK]
• Pamela Anderson is the queen of aging gracefully. [Yeeeah]
[Source]

Dane Cook is currently undergoing a legal battle about the always-newsworthy dog poop. No, seriously. Evidently his landlord thinks Dane isn't picking up his dog's poop, but Dane claims he is. And, of course, TMZ is on the case.
The testimony is riveting, as Dane's lawyer insists the poop in question does not belong to his dog because "medium to small-sized dogs create a thumb-sized poop" — smaller than the feces found in the yard. The landlord countered back: "I know what Beast's pooh looks like, unfortunately. It's a dog's signature. Signature. Signature pooh."
[Source]
Here's a blind item supposedly based on information obtained from Rosie O'Donnell at a recent book signing:
Which famous gastric bypass recipient reportedly "has to wear diapers" because she "poops soup"?
• Alexyss K Tylor is back! And oh, God, is she NSFW. [DListed]
• "10 Tips to Rule Your Kitchen for a Girl On-the-Go"? Tip number one: stop calling yourself a "girl" before you're old enough to have a kitchen of your own. [INO]
• Michael Lohan on ex-wife Dina's Top Mom award: "Are you kidding! Top celebrity mom? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself." [ICYDK]
• Miley Cyrus' ratings are actually down after that whole Vanity Fair fiasco. Because, oddly enough, many people are boobs scared of boobs. [Yeeeah]
• Murakami's at the Brooklyn Museum. Go if you're in Brooklyn, not epileptic and interested in crazy, sexual, Japanese Manga characters. [CityRag]
• Clooney failed big and your mom and girlfriend still love him. Deal with it. [PS]

In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day – using 17 syllables or less – you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku winner is ilnazhad:
Sam proves how “fit” he
is at bare bones burial:
“Rest In Pee, Britney!”
Hilarious!
New one beyond the jump.
CONTINUED »

Just one day after several Britney Spears lookalikes took to a set in Hollywood to begin production on the new video for Blackout's "Piece of Me," Star magazine brings to light some information that might make one question their desire to emulate the melting singer.
The tabloid alleges that the plummeting pop star's Mulholland Drive mansion is equipped with a double-locked, X-rated "Fantasy Room" filled with ticklers, whips and fur-trimmed handcuffs hanging from the metal bedframe.
The second-floor room also features a mirrored ceiling, a glass jar containing spanking paddles and a closet full of kinky outfits, according to an "insider" who stumbled into the den of sin.
God forbid: sex! Thankfully, the outrage eventually becomes less puritanical:
CONTINUED »

So that there's no question, we're only posting this because Perez Hilton is much richer and more famous than us.


