In an effort to bolster the ever-assailed decorum of the Internet, Mollygood looks to poetry with Someone Haiku. Each day – using 17 syllables or less – you’re given the opportunity to wax poetic about some piece of flotsam or jetsam that’s washed up on the shores of Mollygood. Hopefully this Zen practice will not only bathe you in self-discovery, but also bring a touch of Eastern class to a global network of information that’s devolved into nothing more than tit websites and provocative MySpace pictures.
Today's Someone Haiku winner is LisaNo.1:
Engorged member plus
Brain oxygen deficit,
Equals awkwardness.
Very nicely done there.
New one after the jump.
CONTINUED »
• And it gets laughably worse! [DListed]
• How about when celebrities tell the media they hate media. We hate that. [PS]
• FHM is not going to the grave without a fight, we'll give them that. [HT]
• A full rundown of the spending habits of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Enjoy? Please try not to, actually. [INO]
• Paris Hilton goes into a tizzy in a pornography shop. Heiress-like! [ICYDK]
• Do the Europeans like Avril Lavigne so much because she makes North America looks so damn bad? Or is it less insidious and they just have bad taste? [Yeeeah]
• Katie Holmes is running the New York marathon, presumably to test her endurance for when she must steal her baby away into the night. [EBG]
Just from seeing pictures like this, we can tell, scent unsmelled, that Dave Navarro wears too much cologne. Likewise, we always knew that one day he would become a pornographer and have some ridiculous reason for doing so.
…the former Red Hot Chili Peppers and Jane's Addiction star, who now writes and directs XXX videos, says: "Rock and porn exist to break taboos. Rock used to have that rebellious 'up against the world' creed . . . That doesn't exist anymore in the music world - but it's alive and well in the adult industry." He adds: "It's heartening to feel kin to a group of freewheeling individuals who don't give a shit about approval."
Nice try, doofus, but you videotape people fucking. Shut up.
[Source]
Joe Francis, upon being vindicated of charges that his company manipulated drunken women into exposing themselves: "This is yet another example of false allegations that I have faced. I am tired of these lies being used against me in an attempt to extort money from me and destroy my name." Because in a world of bared tits and drunken whoring, a man's good name means everything to him.
• At least his dignity is so meaningless to him that he'll keep the eyebrow sham going 'til he's dead; one has to respect that pathetic fortitude. (Is he dead?) [DListed]
• This many photos while they grocery shop? Wow. [DS]
• God does listen: American Gladiators is returning! [ICYDK]
• Some new bag of boobs has already disrobed and is ready to take Jenna Jameson's place. [HT]
• Stunning lyricism. Really. Why is the radio still around? [Yeeeah]
• Siegfried & Roy finally come out of the closet that was already opened for them years ago by their mustaches, clothes, demeanors, countenances and voices. [CityRag]
Jennifer "Toastee" Toof, whose early career in pornography led to her dismissal from VH1's Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School, is now looking forward to the release of her Vivid video, Toastee Exposed.
…Vivid Entertainment is ready to release a 40-minute tape in which Toastee appears to give pleasure to an unidentified man. Vivid co-chairman Steven Hirsch hails Toastee as a "talented contortionist" whose "enthusiasm for sex is obvious." Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who brokered the deal, tells us: "She may not have made the grade on VH1's 'Charm School,' but she gets straight A's on this tape."
Editor
