WOULD YOU LIKE SOME (ROTTEN) CHEESE WITH THAT WHINE? "Raffaello Follieri, the Italian businessman who dated actress Anne Hathaway, says his health has deteriorated because of 'unspeakably unsanitary' jail conditions and wants to be moved. … Since he was sentenced to 4-1/2 years in prison for fraud last month, he has had to contend with rotten food, foul odors and unclean toilets and as a result is running a fever and has blood in his urine, according to a letter from his lawyer made available on Wednesday."
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Bless Lou Pearlman's heart. The musical con artist, who is currently serving 25 years in a Florida prison for conspiracy and money laundering, is truly an inspiration to all Americans — despite the fact that he's locked up, the former manager of the likes of Backstreet Boys and 'NSync is trudging onward and forming a new boy band.
The name of the future group? Biteboy. We're not even going to touch that one.
Hopefully Biteboy's members like being robbed and molested — when he wasn't stealing money from his clients, Lou was giving the boys "creepy massages and rubbing their abs to align their auras." Sign us up!
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POOR LITTLE RAFFAELLO GETS FOUR AND A HALF YEARS "Anne Hathaway's ex-boyfriend was sentenced to four and a half years behind bars Thursday for wire fraud, money laundering and conspiracy. Raffaello Follieri, 30, only wanted to serve three years, according to papers submitted by his lawyer in a Manhattan federal court earlier this month."
Good news, Brooke Hogan! Your delinquent brother, Nick, will be released from prison three months early due to good behavior. Well, he may have been behaving appropriately, but the rest of the Hogan family failed at that aspect. Will they be receiving any sort of punishment?
The littlest Hogan will be back on the streets Oct. 21, so let this be a warning to all of our Florida readers: You have four weeks; pack up all your belongings and run.
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Now here, ladies and gentlemen, is the sign of a true addict: When offered a chance to leave prison early and take a trip to rehab, Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, chose to remain behind bars. Well, at least he's not a quitter.
When Blake Incarcerated was told by prison officers he could leave more than two months ahead of schedule if he agreed to detox, he turned up his nose. Then he was offered an early release on the condition that he live with his mother and wear an electronic tag. Blake, naturally, declined.
Hey, maybe he just likes prison — did you ever think of that? I mean, have you seen what he has to face when he walks out those doors?
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It's official: Anne Hathaway's ex, Raffaello Follieri, was sentenced today to over four years in prison, starting Oct. 3, for wire fraud, money laundering and conspiracy. He's been in jail since June, unable to make his $21 million bail.
'I knew what I was doing was wrong,' he told U.S. District Judge John G. Koeltl in Manhattan as he stood in a loose-fitting prison uniform. He has been in jail since his June 24 arrest, unable to make $21 million bail.
What, his BFF Donald Trump didn't help him make bail earlier this summer? Poor guy.
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With same-sex marriage in full effect out in California, the state's prison officials are busy trying to set things straight for gay inmates:
Well, this is unsettling:
Miley Cyrus' pics in Vanity Fair may have been scandalous, but she should look on the bright side, because now she has a whole new crop of admirers! Only problem is, they're felons.
Miley has received thousands of love letters from prison inmates since the magazine hit newsstands.
Isn't the prison system wonderful? When the cons aren't assaulting each other, they're fixating on 15-year-old girls. How rehabilitating and conducive to a better America.
Editor
