• Some classy lady found herself desperate enough to marry Corey Haim. [DListed]

• Michael Jackson doesn't need a costume for Halloween. [INO]

• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson take the subway. They're still not at all like us. [PS]

• These photos of Rachel Bilson and her dog are so cute they may be able to end the war in Iraq. [HT]

• Mariah Carey is a beauty school dropout. That explains a lot. [ICYDK]

• Angelina Jolie may be jealous of Diane Kruger, Brad Pitt's newest co-star. Because that makes sense. [Yeeeah]

When Miley Cyrus was chosen to host the Teen Choice Awards, which was filmed last night and will air tonight, we're unsure whether or not the producers expected her to hog the spotlight as much as she obviously did. Judging from the pictures, she treated the entire awards show like one of her infamous YouTube videos, including her BFF Mandy in most of her bits and ruining a perfectly good LL Cool J performance.

In other news, Dwight graced the show with his presence, Mariah continued to use a glitter microphone, Arcuhleta's dad still won't go away — and when did Chace Crawford become so good-looking?

Click through for more pictures than should be allowed.

CONTINUED »

• Daisy from Rock of Love 2 has hit the big time! [DListed]

• Does anybody else feel uncomfortable looking at NSFW pictures of Sienna Miller and her new cheating boyfriend? [PS]

• Why does anyone bother issuing a warrant for Pete Doherty? It's not like he's going to be held accountable for anything. [ICYDK]

• Salma Hayek called off her engagement. Cue the chirping crickets. [INO]

• Jennifer Aniston's "necessary tune-ups" include spending $20,000 a month on anti-cellulite treatments and things of that nature. [Yeeeah]

• Rachel Bilson owns the ugliest shorts ever. [HT]

• Wow! JLo's kids really do share names with a couple characters on an animated show about magical dragons. We thought that was just a joke, but we guess it still kind of is. [Yeeeah]

• In case you were wondering, nowadays, Mickey Rourke looks like a melted woman. [DListed]

• What does Kristin Cavallari even do anymore besides add pictures to her Facespace? [HT]

• "Rachel Bilson Is Pregnant" [INO]

• Mamma Mia, indeed, young lady! [ICYDK]

• Matt Dillon totes hates kids, too! Especially "celebrity photographer" ones. [CityRag]

• The New York Times ran an entire article about how being at some form of a computer 24/7 might not be healthy. Thanks, Times. We can always count on you to make common sense seem difficult and unheard of. [NYT]

Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen are in Japan to promote Jumper, and it seems our lady decided to change up her hairstyle. We can't decide if it's…
a) Her real hair
b) Ken Paves extensions
c) A wig from the 99 cent store

[Source]

"He's a very attractive man," Rachel Bilson and says of rumored boyfriend Hayden Christensen in the latest issue of Seventeen magazine. And he is – albeit a little twinkish – but he's not Ryan Reynolds. Should Christensen be offended? Reynolds? Both?

[Source]

• New York has no poverty! Or Puerto Ricans! [CityRag]

• Gayelle? [DListed]

• So much food for such a little girl. [PS]

• Put them away, mom! [HT]

• Scientologists are being preyed upon by a clandestine organization! This is really happening! [INO]

• Charlize Theron at Sundance. That's all there is to it. [ICYDK]

• Amy Winehouse is in rehab trying to sort out her life. Seriously, how is she not dead? [Yeeeah]

• 50 Cent is going to interview Paris Hilton for some MySpace commercial disguised as journalism. Let's hope the notorious racist doesn't call him a nigger to his face. And if she does, let's hope he cares. [SH]

• Pretty sure Gwyneth Paltrow is seen here wearing what the kids call locs. Awesome! [DListed]

• Rachel Bilson's passport photo shoot finds her looking better than ever. At least she looks like a woman and not a victim. [HT]

• Go ahead and dress lie Catherine Zeta-Jones; just promise not to also be a calloused snake like her. [INO]

• Johnny Depp would like to be considered for the lead in Tim Burton's remake of Alice in Wonderland. Yes: Alice. Shark jumped. [ICYDK]

• New day, new Britney Spears diagnosis. [Yeeeah]

• She's finally given up, then? We thought she would never learn. [EBG]

• Margaret Cho won't cross the picket lines for BFF Ellen DeGeneres. Yay, principles! [Queerty]

I grew up sort of like a princess. I know that sounds awful, but I was the baby of the family. I had older brothers, so the little girl always gets everything she wants.

That really does sound stereotypically American!

• Colbert is struggling, but we hate Two and a Half Men! How to feel about the writer's strike? [Jossip]

• Let's get one thing straight: Mariah Carey would, indeed, rather sing with JLo than a pig. [DListed]

• It's like he wants you to hate his clothes. [PS]

• There's a charity called Teens for Jeans and Rachel Bilson is shilling for them. Donate if you're for jeans or Rachel Bilson (or both). Adults in khakis need not apply. [HT]

• Taylor Hicks has lost his record deal! Don't tell your lonely aunt, she's sad enough. [ICYDK]

• Jennifer Beals, we should let you know that we've never gotten over our Flashdance crush. Do you like us, too? [INO]

• Fear for this fetus: "On her last prison visit [Amy Winehouse] told Blake that she wants to try and get pregnant as soon as she can. [Yeeeah]

• Photoshop can be scary! [CityRag]

• As they should be, MTV is now so self-loathing! [CR]

• Here's other's picks for the handsomest Affleck brother. I don't see it. [PS]

• Whoops! [HT]

• "Love It or Hate It: The Fringe"? Fringe! [INO]

• Comic book nerds click here! [ICYDK]

• Xanax: The Healthiest of Addictions. [Yeeeah]

• Ozzy-cats. [CityRag]

• Facebook survey results! Find out if you're as hurt by poke declines as everyone else! [Jossip]

• Study this with a fine-toothed desperation to see a whole boob. (Recommended only for 13-year-old boys) [Defamer]

• For some reason, rape jokes just aren't playing well with the ladies. [DListed]

• Field guide to Hollywood's hottest cougars. Don't go to the nursing home without it. [BWE]

• Rachel Bilson all rosy cheeked and boring. [HT]

• Drop in the bucket. [ICYDK]

• Demi and Ashton at How the Power of a Single Wish Can Waste Your Time. [Yeeeah]

• Poor attempt at Garbage Pail Kids. Sorry, but they are. [CityRag]

See? Everyone's the same. No more Red v Blue bullshit, because even old money movie stars like processed salt pellets and low prices and cozy toezies, just like they do in Huntsville. So let's all throw a rager, get "Dangerously Cheesy" and high five each other with orange fingertips while we discuss how to get our boys and girls out of Iraq.

Relatively new couple Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen are seen here heading to a shopping spree in Christensen's $200,000 Ferrari.

Hayden Christensen plays the gentleman, picking up new girl Rachel Bilson in his $200K Ferrari just to give her a ride to Barneys New York in Beverly Hills for a little shopping trip on Tuesday.

Hey, Hayden, driving $200,000 cars that get 11 mpg during wartime is so paradoxical they should study you. Not only is your blind materialism exactly what the terrorists hate, your blind materialism funds the terrorists. Thanks, dude!

[Source]

• Right back atcha, you walking steroid! [DListed]

• She's a great mother now, not so great in 15 years when your friends are googling her boobs. [PopSugar]

• I think you have to pass through Slutsburg to bring sexy back. So we'll excuse this. [HT]

• Virgie-stiltskin. [ASL]

• Keith Richards just hung out with aliens, not one himself. [Yeeeah]

• Hayden and Bilson. [ICYDK]

Here's new couple Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson being domestic and grocery shopping.

Notice Hayden kicking back in shotgun while Rachel unloads the haul. He really has gone to the darkside. Chivalry's dead!

[Source]

Here's new couple Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson being domestic and grocery shopping.

Notice Hayden kicking back in shotgun while Rachel unloads the haul. He really has gone to the darkside. Chivalry's dead!

[Source]

• Harry Potter full frontal. Isn't this pic illegal? Seriously. [DListed]

• Be the first kid on your block to suffer the painful destruction of public humiliation! [Glitterati]

• Anna Nicole's assistant says Stern's a nice guy and that he would never hurt her. [INO]

• Pretty sure Gwen's baby has a fauxhawk. Can we cool it with the "hip baby" stuff? [ICYDK]

• Bilson's mother could tell that she lost her v-card just by looking at her, meaning she has the world's most useless superpower. [HT]

• If you have a tattoo of Rodney Dangerfield from Back to School, you are automatically welcome in my home. [NYT]

• The host of that piece of shit Wild'n Out tricked that model into marrying him. How come titles of shows with black stars have to be spelled wrong? Let's try to change that soon. [ASL]