Before you continue reading, please make sure there are no Britney Spears crazies in the immediate vicinity, because this news just might send them over the edge.
Tiny narc Ryan Seacrest announced on his radio show that Brit will reunite with ex Justin Timberlake tonight as part of increasingly desperate Madonna's "Sticky and Sweet" concert tour. The beginning of the end of days will take place at LA's Dodger Stadium, where all three singers will come together on stage for some world-class lip-syncing.
For our LA readers: It might be wise to stock up on flashlights and bottled water today.
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Oh, I see. When Russell Brand prank calls someone it's considered basically a federal crime. When some schmo over at a Quebec radio station does it to Sarah Palin, pretending to be French President Nicolas Sarkozy, it is all in good fun.
To be fair, Palin takes it like a champ, so it's hard to tell whether she buys it or not.
Britney Spears was welcomed by a throng of paparazzi when she arrived in New York City this week, but the singer didn't experience the usual fanfare when she stopped by NYC radio station Z-100 to promote her new single — because nobody knew she was coming. According to a station rep, the crew randomly "received a call from the Spears camp saying she was just two blocks away and wanted to come in" — and she was only accompanied by manager Larry Rudolph. Well, we're pleased to see that she needs just one person around to reign in the crazy.
The interview included a segment where Brit got nostalgic about the old days, before she lost her mind: "I wish I still had my apartment here … I love [New York City]." We agree that she would perhaps be less of a freak show in Manhattan, but we would prefer the madness to stay on the opposite side of the country. Besides, her poor kids have enough to worry about without having to move thousands of miles away from their not-so-stable environment.
Meanwhile, Brit hit up a Broadway show last night and looked as good as ever. You can't even tell she has a rat's nest on her head! Things are looking up.
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Paris Hilton, the original reality TV queen of bad music, released a new single on Ryan Seacrest's radio show, where bogus artists go to debut their latest travesties. The song, titled "My BFF," is basically another way to hawk her terrible new reality show, which we will be watching only for the good of Reality Bytes (and to warn our dear readers of the monstrosities we will surely face).
Interested in how terrible the new song is? You can listen here or just sample some of the genius lyrics:
Could you be the one I waaaaaant? (My best friend)
Could you be the one I neeeeeed? (My best friend)
All of my life, don't you know I've been waitiiiiiing (For a best friend)
Could you be the one I waaaaaant? (My best friend)
Yep, it's that bad.
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Yesterday morning on his radio program, the always delightful and laughable Bill O'Reilly, your racist, ignorant grandmother's favorite talking head, literally threatened to beat up and break the fingers of national finance heads. O'Reilly then noted that the ass kicking he was going to deliver was going to be on your behalf, because he's got "money in the bank" and will be alright in these difficult financial times.
Click through to hear what nationally syndicated political discourse has become.
Who knew Howard Stern was so sensitive? The shock jock took to the airwaves to deny reports that he was helping a 22-year-old girl auction off her virginity … because he has such a great reputation to defend? We don't get the outrage. He insists that he only invited her onto his show to interview her, not to assist in the process: "I'm really aggravated by this. I don't feel like defending myself to my kids about something that's in the paper that isn't true."
Fair enough, Howard. You can go back to being America's moral compass.
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Start your day off with some brutal awkwardness here, where you can listen to what happens when a radio DJ interviewing recovering junkie/alcoholic Robert Downey Jr about his new film, Tropic Thunder, asks him who he'd most like to "have a brew and smoke a blunt with." Oh boy! (Answer: "I think it would be regrettable if I did that.") It just gets worse from there.
Michael Savage, talk radio host and nominee for Biggest Idiot of the Year, is refusing to apologize for remarks he made on his show regarding kids with autism. For those who missed it, he basically said that children diagnosed with the disorder just need a father around to tell them to "act like a man" and stop screaming and crying. This naturally sparked outrage amongst everyone with a brain, but Savage sticks by his theory:
My main point remains true. It is an overdiagnosed medical condition. In my readings, there is no definitive medical diagnosis for autism.
And to make this all OK, he plans to turn over his show on Monday to parents and callers who disagree with his educated theories. Oh, if only an hour were enough.
Talk radio host Michael Savage (real name: Michael Weiner) has caused a stir after calling Autism "a fraud" and "racket." You can listen to his 90-second rant here, if you can stomach it, but here's his main point:
I'll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. That's what autism is. What do you mean they scream and they're silent? They don't have a father around to tell them, 'Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, idiot.'
Good to see Savage's ignorance is finally getting the guy some recognition.
Rush Limbaugh, the most listened-to voice on the radio dial bar none, has signed a $400 million deal that keeps him on the air through 2016, as Drudge breathlessly reports. This deal "SHATTERS BROADCAST RECORDS."
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