'AUSTIN POWERS' VILLAIN A TRULY VILLAINOUS RAPIST "Joe Son, who played the character Random Task in the first 'Austin Powers' movie, has been charged by California authorities in connection with an unsolved 1990 Christmas Eve gang rape. Son pleaded guilty in May to felony vandalism, which required him to give a DNA sample — which eventually connected him to the rape, police say. Son, 37, was charged Oct. 1 with five felony counts of forcible rape, two felony counts of forcible sodomy, two felony counts of sodomy in concert by force, seven felony counts of forcible oral copulations, one felony count of sexual penetration by foreign object by force according to an Orange County District Attorney's."

So last night I was invited to the premiere of Hounddog, the film that caused a lot of controversy a while back because it features a Dakota Fanning rape scene. After watching the movie, I can safely say that the fuss was overblown, but that's probably obvious at this point.

On to the good stuff: The red carpet! Where my spot along the velvet ropes was labeled "Whittle Little, Jossip.com." Awesome.

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COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATISM IN ACTION "While Sarah Palin was serving as the Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, the city charged victims of sexual assault between $300 and $1200 for their own rape kits. A rape kit is a sexual assault forensic evidence kit, used to collect DNA that can be used in criminal proceedings to assist in the conviction of those who commit sex crimes. The kit is performed as soon as possible after a sexual assault or attack has been committed. It is usually humiliating and uncomfortable for the victim…"

STORY TIME "Helen Mirren makes some startling revelations — she was date raped more than once and has tried several illegal drugs — in a revealing new interview with the British edition of GQ."

Good god, we've just seen the worst blind item the New York Post has ever run:

Which hunk in a summer movie is a violent, closeted homosexual? The heartthrob snuck into his ex's apartment a few months ago and raped him so violently, the ex ended up in the hospital - and the actor paid him $500,000 to keep his mouth shut.

Now, if the Post is printing this, isn't it saying that it has good information about a brutal rape that's gone unpunished—information it's keeping secret in order to drive up Web traffic and sell papers? And if it's not saying that, isn't it instead saying it will print unfounded bullshit just as long as it's alarming and salacious? New lows every day, people!

Oh, it's rumored that the violent sexual predator the Post is protecting is Will Smith.

Angelina Jolie has always been open about her life before becoming Mother Teresa 2.0, so it was no surprise when she gave details on a former knife experiment gone wrong.

When I was 14, I collected knives. My first boyfriend and I ended up getting into some fighting in bed and being silly. People think that happens every time I go to bed.

It was actually something he never wanted to do again. It was a mistake and we really hurt ourselves. It was just being young, you know, when you're curious about vampires and that kind of thing. Just experimenting. It was an accident and I ended up in hospital.

The fact that she was doing this at the age of 14 — even younger than Miley Cyrus — is slightly disturbing, but what's even more fascinating is the fact that she completely recovered from a not-so-normal past to become one of the most successful celebrities in the world. Which got us thinking of a few other women who have bounced back from their own personal tragedies. Feel free to disagree or throw in your own suggestions.

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Roman Polanski, addressing critics who say he shouldn't have had sex with a drunk 13-year-old girl when he was 43: "Americans are 'prudish.'"

More than 30 years after Roman Polanski plied her with champagne and a Quaalude and then sodomized her, Samantha Geimer, Polanski's now 45-year-old rape victim, says that though her attack remains an "unpleasant memory," she doesn't think Polanski should face jail time.

"I don't think he needs to be locked up forever," said Geimer, adding, "I think he's sorry, I think he knows it was wrong." Of course, Geimer can't be sure of this, because, rather than telling her he's sorry and that what he did was wrong, Polanski's been straight chilling in France for the past three decades, ducking justice like the cowardly kid-raper he is.

The woman whom fugitive director Roman Polanski raped more than 30 years ago appeared Tuesday at the premiere of a documentary about the notorious attack. Samantha Geimer, who was just 13 when Polanski sexually assaulted her in Jack Nicholson's Hollywood home, told Fox News that, were she able to say one thing to Polanski, she would tell him, "I’ll bet you wish you never met me."

After being convicted of statutory rape, Polanski, who was then 44, fled to Europe to avoid jail time. He's since not set foot in America and won an Oscar.