Sad news, everybody: Rosie O'Donnell's Thanksgiving variety show didn't survive past the first performance. We admittedly didn't watch, because anybody who gives "talk to the hand" is not worthy of our viewership, but evidently we weren't alone: Only 5 million suckers tuned in Friday night to "Rosie Live."
When asked about what went wrong, Rosie expressed her wisdom through a couple of non-haikus: CONTINUED »
TV AUDIENCES CONTINUE TO DWINDLE "Every season premiere Thursday night drew a lower rating than last fall, as returning favorites such as ABC's 'Grey's Anatomy,' CBS' 'Survivor' and NBC's 'The Office' tripped across the board. ABC firmly won the night, as expected. Its two-hour fifth season premiere of 'Grey's Anatomy' (18.5 million viewers, 7.4 national adults 18 to 49 rating and an 18 share) was the evening's highest-rated and most-watched show, with each half hour growing in the Nielsens. Yet 'Grey's' was down 17% from last fall’s one-hour opener. Lead-in 'Ugly Betty' (9.8 million, 3.3/9) slipped 15%, marking its lowest-rated debut to date."
BRUTAL, BITTER STRUGGLE OF AN ELECTION YIELDS GREAT COMEDY "The presidential campaign has been very, very good to 'Saturday Night Live.' 'SNL' has experienced a hefty bump in the Nielsen polls this election season, boasting a 50% gain over last season’s first two episodes. … Comedy Central’s 'The Daily Show' is coming off its most-watched week in history, averaging 1.9 million viewers last week — up 28% from last year. Of course, last year, the world hadn’t yet heard of Sarah Palin, and both Barack Obama and John McCain were considered longshots for their respective party nominations. A year later, the U.S. is in the midst of a presidential campaign that many have described as unusual and unexpected — in other words, perfect fodder for 'SNL' and 'The Daily Show,' not to mention Comedy Central’s 'The Colbert Report' and HBO’s 'Real Time With Bill Maher.'"
9(0210) MORE EPISODES "It's back nine for '90210.' In the first full-season order for a freshman series this season, the CW has picked up nine additional episodes of the teen drama, bringing the total order to 22. The much buzzed about '90210' … was the first new fall show to premiere. After a blazing start with a two-hour debut Sept. 2 that was seen by 4.9 million viewers and posted the highest-rated series premiere in the CW's two-year history in women 18-34, adults 18-34 and adults 18-49, the 'Beverly Hills, 90210' spinoff dropped precipitously in its second airing but recovered nicely last week to average 3.3 million viewers."
Has the real world, hobbled and on its broke knees, its pockets like rabbit ears, finally had enough of rich Hollywood's televised multi-million dollar mutual masturbation sessions? Signs point to yes.
In February, the Oscar telecast had the lowest ratings in history. And last night, the 60th annual Emmy Awards followed suit.
The three-hour … ceremony received a 3.8 rating/9 share in the adults 18-49 demo — the lowest in Nielsen's recorded People Meter history. That's 12% below last year's previous Emmy record low …
Great work, people! Next up: let's all of us but accident victims stop going to plastic surgeons. And after that, the Hooterses. Join the revolution!
BRATS IN BEVERLY HILLS BEAT BRATS IN MANHATTAN "The famous zip is still hip. Young auds returned to '90210' on Tuesday, as CW's update of the iconic Fox sudser 'Beverly Hills 90210' set network records for a premiere. In its debut, according to preliminary Nielsen estimates, '90210' averaged a 2.6 rating/7 share in adults 18-49 and 4.9 million viewers overall, winning in the net's target demo of adults 18-34 (3.0/9) as well as women 18-34 (4.3/12). And in a good sign, '90210' built its audience a bit from its first hour to its second."
The ratings are in! The ratings are on it! Gossip Girl survived, and indeed flourished, during its second season premiere last night. Despite that stupid plotline with Blair and the British lord, GG saw a 6 percent increase among adults 18-49 and pulled in a total of 3.4 million viewers.
NBC ALSO BREAKING RECORDS "Michael Phelps' record eighth gold medal catapulted NBC to its best Saturday night ratings since 1990, with almost 40 million tuning in around 11 p.m. EDT to watch Phelps and the U.S. team win the 4×100m medley relay at the Beijing Olympics. The full Saturday night telecast on NBC averaged 31.1 million viewers, Nielsen Media Research said Sunday. That's up 38% compared with the 22.5 million viewers for the second Saturday during the 2004 Athens Games. … NBC said the last time it got an audience that size on a Saturday night was Feb. 24, 1990, when 31.4 million viewers watched 'Empty Nest.'"
Everything sucks now! You know it and I know it, and now we have some proof.
According to the American Film Institute, of the top 100 films in the top ten genres – Mystery, Courtroom Drama, Romantic Comedy, etc – only 18 were made after 1989. And five of those 18 are animated movies, which owe a lot of their magic to recent advances in technology and offshoring.
Click through to see what life was like before You Don't Mess with the Zohan.
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THAT WAS QUICK "'American Gladiators' stumbled in its return to NBC, while 'House' led Fox to a nightly win Monday. After a strong run during the writers' strike, 'Gladiators' returned to NBC's schedule with an average of 4.9 million viewers and a 1.9 rating/5 share among adults 18 to 49, logging its lowest original rating and finishing a distant third in the 8-10 p.m. time period."
WHERE HAVE ALL THE COUCH POTATOES GONE? "This week, the television upfronts — in which the broadcast networks present their schedules to advertisers — will open with a mystery. Who stole six million viewers? That’s the number who were watching prime time television last May, a month affectionately known as 'sweeps,' but have disappeared this year, according to the overnight Nielsen ratings. Each of the major broadcast networks, save for Fox, has seen its audience decline this season. The ratings for hit shows like 'American Idol' and 'CSI' have approached record lows."
Editor
