Click through for the answer.
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Oh. Goodie. First came L.A.'s The Hills. Next will come its New York spin-off. And this fall, we'll also be treated to a D.C. version of white girls of privilege. From something called PB&J Television (they produced Sports Illustrated's model reality show) comes Washington's attempt at "unscripted" reality, with an as-yet-untitled show that's set to start filming in September and rushed to air by November. And how do we know it's a sure thing? Well, you never really know, but Lifetime did pick it up and supposedly plans to air it immediately following Project Runway, which it's stealing from Bravo to create quite the perfect lead-in. "Casting hasn't been finalized, according to one source, but the primary characters — local socialites/hotties/20-somethings Katherine Kennedy, Krista Johnson and Sophie Pyle — remain on board. Johnson’s younger sister, Alexa Johnson, will also play a role in the show, most likely, although she and the show are still working out specifics. The Johnson sisters are alumnae of South Carolina’s College of Charleston, Kennedy graduated from Loyola Marymount and Pyle is taking a semester off from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill." Also, they plan on being "more realistic":
Speaking of things we can't believe, human minstrel show Tiffany "New York" Pollard has once again been granted license to stymie the progress of civil rights with a crappy reality show, New York Goes to Hollywood.
This latest installment in the televised downfall of a human being follows Pollard on her quest for "legitimate, Hollywood fame." Yes, she wants to be an actress now—"a certified actress." This will never happen, of course, but it seems you could have fooled Pollard, who's already mean to everyone despite not having the sort of résumé, background or skill-set normally associated with prima donnas of her caliber.
Guess what: we won't be tuning in. But if your thing is seeing a delusional black lady belittle white people and herself at the same time, check it out.
Now that Yankee swordsman Alex Rodriguez has inked a deal with the William Morris Agency to continue his career in more "creative" ways, where do you think he'll turn up next? Are guys that fuck other guys' wives while also cheating on their own wives better actors or reality show centerpieces? Our call: ESPN reality program in which doofy armchair quarterbacks compete in weekly challenges to be A-Rod's assistant. Bob Costas would guest host and also help Rodriguez choose who "gets cut" from the team, until just the victor remains. (Jesus, it's frightening how easy it is to think up TV shows that could actually be very successful.)
MONEY FOR NOTHING Hey, starving Americans, wanna be millionaires? Become famous failed hookers! "She had nixed a previous offer to do a Tila Tequila-style contest show for MTV, but Eliot Spitzer's tattooed honey [Ashley Dupre] was offered a new deal by LA reality-show producer David Krieff. Krieff approached Dupre two weeks ago after getting a letter of commitment from an entertainment network and a major studio, he told The Post. … 'It's a seven-figure deal,' said Krieff, the reality veteran who brought together Amy Fisher and the Buttafuocos for a TV special and did a similar pairing of rival ice queens Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding."
BERKLEY SO EXCITED FOR MTV REALITY SHOW "MTV is developing an unscripted project with Elizabeth Berkley and her husband, artist Greg Lauren, that is based on Ask-Elizabeth, the self-esteem workshops for teen girls that Berkley created. Berkley has volunteered her time facilitating Ask-Elizabeth workshops in schools and for organizations around the country for 2 1⁄2 years. Her Web site, Ask-Elizabeth.com, features a library of video content intended to help empower girls worldwide."
Villainous mother of four Dina Lohan took her 14-year-old daughter Ali (aka Plan B) to CBS' Early Show yesterday to drum up some viewers for the family's tainted reality show, Living Lohan.
With her forked tongue, Dina said without laughing that she only agreed to do the reality program to "diffuse the rumors," presumably the ones that say she's a money-hungry loon who will do anything to be famous. Then Ali spoke and demonstrated just how deeply she's repressed her memories:
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Ever since NBC Universal execs learned they would officially be losing Project Runway on Bravo, they’ve been working overtime to tear the brand apart. Why should they bother promoting a show that Harvey Weinstein ripped away from them to take to Lifetime, where he’s set to bag a bigger payday from production and product placement fees?
At first, the negativity was subtle. Bravo execs kept quiet as they stole Runway’s brilliant production team, Magical Elves, away from the show in an exclusive deal. And then the more obvious signs arrived.
Project Runway’s fifth season, and the last for Bravo, premieres on Wednesday. And by the time it arrives, and certainly by the time it wraps, its varnish will be worn, damaged, or gone altogether.
So just how is Bravo systematically sabotaging the Project Runway brand?
And it's not watching the newest reality show to destroy our youth, Queen Bees. Oh, who am I kidding? I'll be watching. But only for work-related purposes. I recently caught the promo for the show — which aims to make mean girls nice — and lasted about two seconds without having the urge to shoot my television. What could be so appalling that even a reality TV junkie was forced to gasp in digust? It was this lovely gem from one of the contestants: "I do have ugly friends. But I don’t go out with them at night.”
Seriously, where do they find these people? And I don't care how pretty they become on the inside — I can think of a million people off the top of my head that deserve $25,000 more than these girls.
THE MOST IMPORTANT MUD BOGGING OF THEIR LIVES "CMT has ordered a second season of the Tom Arnold-hosted 'My Big Redneck Wedding' … 'Wedding,' which features 'down-home country couples' and their over-the-top weddings, will return with eight half-hour episodes in October. This season, featured receptions will include monster trucks and mud bogging. The series … is one of CMT's highest-rated."
YEAH, WE'RE DOOMED A Slate writer went into something called a "reality TV school" and wrote this disturbing article about his experience. Read it, and try not to slip on all the snake oil secreted by some scummy dipshit pawning himself off as an "acting coach and improv comedian." Also: WHAT ARE PEOPLE DOING TO THEIR KIDS??????
Representing an entirely new type of competition, HURL! combines speed-eating with intense physical challenges all designed to shake up the competitors…its an eating competition with an extreme sports chaser!
With HURL!, participants are subjected to a series of challenges: Spiraling down a tunnel in a steel cage ball after eating mounds of Mac 'n Cheese…saddling up for a bucking, spinning spew-inducing thrill ride on the mechanical bull after downing a passel of franks n' beans…and much more! Last contestant to spew can win a cool grand plus bragging rights as an "Iron Stomach Champion".
While reading the above to my father, who's been largely removed from Western society for over two years now, he stopped me after "spew-inducing" to ask, "You are saying 'Hurl,' correct?" I confirmed that I was and, as I read the rest of the description, he shook his head while staring into the distance. "Jesus," he said when I had finished. "Jesus." And then: "Would you please e-mail me that?"
Yes, the woman at right is missing a limb, as are the ladies below. Because of this, each and every day they are faced with unique obstacles most of the rest of the world will never understand, and they're certainly all the stronger because of it. Good for them. But we've got one question: How pretty are they compared to one another?
A new show on the BBC seeks to get to the bottom of that query, so that the world may finally know who is the most beautiful, English, female amputee around. Or, as the Britain's Missing Top Model Web site puts it, "Eight young disabled women discover what it takes to be a model - but which of them will win a photo shoot and appear in a top fashion magazine?"
In the words of one William Corgan: The world is a vampire.
The gay media watchdogs over at GLAAD have been watching an upcoming episode of FX’s 30 Days - and they don’t like what they see.
A forthcoming episode of the series, which transplants people into new lives for a month, features an anti-gay woman who trade places with a child-rearing lesbian. Cue dramatic music…
What about the people who say you’re not really bisexual—that you’re hetero and just pretending for the show? Care to set the record, uh, straight?
They can suck my dick.
Tall, glum, forgettable actor Brad Garrett will star in and executive produce a new online reality program called Dating. Set to premiere on digital platforms like Hulu and YouTube, Dating will follow Garrett on 10 blind dates with women culled from an online search.
Yes, this is a bad idea. But Garrett, still high off the incomprehensible success of Everybody Loves Raymond, thinks it's gonna be great:
"An online dating show seemed like a logical choice given that I'm in the midst of a midlife crisis and averse to pain, which makes getting my ear pierced out of the question," Garrett said. "And since I'm not picky about my choices, I hope women of all sizes, shapes and colors will be compelled to submit their videos."
Confused, single and desperate—what a catch!
It really is amazing how quickly tired hacks were able to piss all over the possibilities of digital episodic entertainment.
Bravo is cooking up a spinoff to its "Top Chef" franchise that would feature teenage competitors.
…
"Top Chef Junior," which is in development, is a cooking-competition series that would feature contestants who likely will range in age from 13 to 16. Bravo said that "Top Chef," which aired its season finale Wednesday night, is a draw with younger viewers, ranking in the top 15 shows among kids/teens 2-17 in the Wednesday 10-11 p.m.
We don't know which is more disgusting: The grease burns these nervous kiddies are going to sustain week after week or the fact that media sharks and scummy admen actually track the viewing habits of FUCKING TWO-YEAR-OLDS!!!!!!
Brody Jenner, all-American toy, has inked a deal with MTV to star in Bromance, a reality series that will follow The Hills monkey as he, and we fucking quote, "auditions a group of dudes to fill his 'bro' vacancy."
Each week, losing contestants will be booted from Bromance's bachelor pad in a "hot tub elimination ceremony," until the ultimate broham has been chosen to fill the spot of Jenner's ex-best broseph, Spencer Pratt.
Of course, twee ponce Ryan Seacrest is producing the massive mistake and laughing all the way to the munchkin bank where he gets his twinkle bucks. Sayeth the American Idol dildo, who doesn't at all enjoy the press speculation about his sexuality: "I can speak from experience — girls can come and go, but a 'bromance' can last forever." Let's hope not.
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