Finally! After days of waiting for more information about A Double Shot at Love with the Ikki Twins, a preview — and all of its accompanying STDs — has hit YouTube. And good news: It's every bit the famewhore cesspool we imagined.
Just another step forward for the GLBT community.
Last night's season finale of Dancing With the Stars was only two hours but felt like eight, and was made even worse in the last half hour with a performance by teenage a-hole Miley Cyrus. We're going to venture out on a limb here and predict that the majority of the show's audience is in the older age bracket, so why on earth would the producers allow a seizure-inducing light show to take place for two and a half minutes? Surely this is against some type of health code.
Above is a clip from tonight's Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion special, which is basically an hour of everyone hating on Kim, the show's resident "singer." We don't care so much about who's fighting with whom — we just want to know if Kim will continue gifting the world with her beautiful voice. And don't worry, she will. Explains the next Whitney Houston:
The singing in the studio was horrific. What was that? It made for good television. We had been in the studio hours and hours that day and most people know your producer doesn’t sing or stand next to you. He’s on the soundboard. So it made for good television, but my album will speak for itself. … I’m actually working with WEJ Records, it’s an independent label, and they’re negotiating a contract for major distribution.
You hear that? Add it to your Christmas wish list now!
Some interesting stuff actually happened on The Hills last night, which is a shame because everything was overshadowed by Heidi and Spencer's Wedding of the Century. On the show, Audrina found out that Lauren and Justin Bobby may or may not have hooked up (we're going to go with "no way in hell"), which led to lots of tears in the middle of public places. But the real talk of the night — at least on the series' aftershow — revolved around the Speidi marriage.
Holly Montag, sister of Heidi and roommate of Lauren, took to the talk show to discuss the idiocy of the wedding and appear genuinely sad. She acted like a sister should, claiming she would always love Heidi regardless of her stupid, stupid actions — but visibly teared up when discovering that the couple actually married days ago. Sucks finding out along with the rest of the Us Weekly crowd, huh?
It's about time someone finally gave us more information on the latest installment of MTV's A Shot at Love with the Ikki Twins, Rikki and Vikki. The reality competition, a sure sign of the end of days, will begin Dec. 9 with 12 straight men and 12 gay women vying for the affections of these STD-ridden whores.
So who are these women who will soon capture the hearts of Americans both young and old? They have quite a resume, having worked for Hooters, Import Tuner, Fast & Sexy and Playboy. And for those of you hoping to romance the women, listen up: Rikki says she likes to "watch the Padres at Hooters and have the date take care of the bill" while Vikki prefers to "be in a bikini and there'll be candles, a blanket on the sand and a big bowl of chocolate!" Klassy.
SO LONG, FAREWELL • "Dancing With the Stars' Julianne Hough says she may be hanging up her dancing shoes for good. 'I won't be on Dancing this spring season. I don't know about the fall. Maybe, maybe not. We'll see. … I'm definitely going to focus on the music.'"
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Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "Crawling on the floor is really hard on your knees, but you can make a really great entrance that way." — Holly, The Girls Next Door
Last night's finale of The Real Housewives of Atlanta made us incredibly sad. What are we going to do without the vocal stylings of Kim gracing our television sets every week? But the real star of the show, NeNe, also managed to captivate the heart of the amazing Anderson Cooper. And — oops! — NeNe may or may not have just hinted at his homosexuality:
I'm not surprised that Anderson Cooper is talking about me! Wouldn't you talk about me? I'm not surprised. Anderson Cooper is gorgeous. He is THE silver fox, and I just wish he'd come over on this side of the street.
So here I am, lounging in the living room with my cat, enjoying some macaroni and cheese and Paris Hilton's My New BFF when I suddenly lose my appetite thanks to a parade of skanks on my television. Yes, A Shot at Love is back — but this time STD-ridden Tila Tequila is not involved. WTF?! It's like I don't even know MTV anymore.
Tila's replacement(s): The Ikki Twins, Rikki and Vikki. Classy. I googled this nonsense and the only thing that popped up was this cheap Web site, which told me absolutely nothing. Looks like MTV isn't exactly feeling loud and proud about its latest travesty.
Yeah, I'm still watching The Hills. Despite telling everyone it's for work, I know I am completely addicted. It gets worse — and less realistic — by the episode, which sends me into a blind rage in which I am forced to remind myself that my time would be better spent watching milk curdle, but I always come back for more.
So on last night's episode, Heidi's sister Holly (whom Spencer kicked out of the couple's apartment) decided to crash at Lauren and Lo's house after Audrina moved out. Shocking, right? Except a few of our genius readers totally predicted it. But I couldn't even let my mind shut off during the episode because I was so damn confused by the timeline. CONTINUED »
CLASSY LADY • "Mary Delgado, The Bachelor season six winner, was arrested and charged with public intoxication, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct in Del Rio, Texas, on Saturday night. … Delgado was asked to leave Lorina's Cantina, but refused, saying it was her 'constitutional right' to remain at the bar as long she wanted. Law enforcement was called to the scene and she was taken into custody."
So we're pretty fascinated by Kim, the resident singer on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Of course, we use the term "singer" pretty loosely, because this woman can't carry a tune to save her life. No, seriously. My dog can sing in a more pleasant manner than Kim. If you need proof, remember that painful trip Kim took to a recording studio, where she created the No. 1 hit "There's a Tyrone Between Me and You"? And if your ears aren't bleeding yet, check out the clip (at left) of Kim traumatizing NYC karaoke bar patrons.
Lesson: Everyone has a gift. Some are better than others.
MEET WINEHOUSE'S NEWEST LOVE INTEREST • "Amy Winehouse has been secretly phoning and texting 16-year-old X Factor star Eoghan Quigg. The troubled singer even invited the innocent Northern Irish lad — her junior by nine years — to join her for a wild night on the tiles."
Good news, everyone! The Hills is coming back for a fifth season! Audrina Patridge confirmed the information to People, and if you're not sold on even more episodes of the "reality" show, just listen to her riveting argument:
At one point, all of us were like, 'No, we don't want to do another season.' I wanted to do more movies, and Whitney moved to New York and she's doing her own spin-off. … We have fun with each other and we've stuck it out this long. We might as well do another one.
Look, nobody loves The Hills more than I do, but even I can admit that it's time to throw in the towel. Nobody cares anymore and the girls are clearly starting to hate each other. This is only going to end badly.
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Washed-up has-been Vanilla Ice has fallen so, so far. Yet, when he promised to show up at a bar down the street from my apartment, I couldn't help but make an appearance to check out the inevitable circus show. Hundreds of other sad drunks were in attendance, so here's my findings of the type of person it takes to show up at a Vanilla Ice event: CONTINUED »
How much do you love Anderson Cooper? He's a great news anchor, making a valiant attempt to stay neutral and simply report the news instead of bullying his guests into submission (ahem, Bill O'Reilly), and he manages to take time in his day to enjoy what really matters: reality TV.
Coop stopped by to visit with Jay Leno last night about all things Obama-related, but the main highlight (around 3:10) occurred when he brought up his love affair with The Real Housewives of Atlanta's NeNe. If anyone can get the Silver Fox to do some reality television commentary for Mollygood, let us know.
Every week, a bunch of “real” people say really stupid things on reality TV. These are their stories.
10. "I'm just Brian. I'm not, like, King George." — Brian, The Pick Up Artist
Flavor of Love/Charm School/I Love Money contestant Pumkin (real name: Brooke Thompson) officially announced her engagement to security guard Evan Doty, proving even washed up reality show losers can find love. The couple will be married next April, if they can make it that long.
After the jump: Our favorite moment from Pumkin, from the season of Flavor of Love that started VH1's horrible obsession with these deadbeats.
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