THE END OF BLING? WE HOPE SO "Francesco Trapani, chief executive of Bulgari Group, is cutting back on the fixed costs of his jet-setting lifestyle. The jewelry, luxury-goods and hotel magnate recently sold his 137-foot yacht, the "Christianne B," and he's holding off on buying any more homes. Even his bespoke Micocci shirt was slightly frayed at the collar last week — a fact he acknowledged with an apologetic smile. … Not even the richest people are feeling untouched by our current financial crisis. In their personal lives, as in business, the purveyors of luxury are sizing up what it all means. Some of the questions: Is it unseemly to spend money publicly? Will people still shop for the all-important holiday season? Is this the end of bling?"
If anyone is worried about this financial crisis, they needn't be: Rapper Lil Wayne is not struggling for money. You can all breathe a sigh of relief.
The notorious drug addict celebrated his 26th birthday last night in Miami and was presented with his gift from Birdman: A case full of one million dollars. Was he playing Deal or No Deal? Anyway, the photo's caption reads, "Lil Wayne is happy after receiving a million dollars as a birthday present." Gee, you think? And why does this guy need a million dollars anyway? It's not like he's hurting for money after selling tons of albums. When you can freeze money and put it inside an ice sculpture, that's a pretty good indication that you don't need any more.
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Never has elitism been so easy to see.
Check out this handy-dandy breakdown of the presidential candidates' homes and vehicles, and get ready to puke at the extravagance of Barack Obama, the elitist. I mean, seriously, a Ford Hybrid? What objectionable decadence. I sure hope John McCain can find respite from that unrelatable jerk in one of his eight homes (maverick mansions?), or on his private jet.
Click through for the large version.
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Finally, a list of the 50 richest members of Congress (27 Republicans, 23 Democrats)!
Click through to see where your favorites ranked.
Rich louts don't stop, 'cause they can't stop.
Like Nero, who fiddled while the city around him turned to ashes, luxury goods manufacturer Louis Vuitton has started a brand new, obnoxiously opulent venture, descending further into decadence while good men, women and children around the globe burn in the harsh heat of poverty.
But what things could be so important that a company wouldn't wait for the world's finances to get in order before starting production on them? Why yachts of course! Big black mega-yachts whose descriptions lend themselves to so many easy phallic jokes we won't even waste our time.
FANCY SWISS RESTAURATEUR PLAYS IT CLOSE TO THE CHEST "The owner of the Storchen restaurant in the exclusive Winterthur resort will improve his menu with local specialities such as meat stew and various soups and sauces containing at least 75 per cent of mother's milk. 'We have all been raised on it. Why should we not include it into our diet?' Hans Locher, who has become Switzerland most controversial restaurant owner, said. Mr Locher attracted the attention of the leading media of the German-speaking world this week after he posted ads looking for women donors, who will receive just over three pounds for 14 ounces of their milk."
ARTS AND FARTS AND CRAFTS Artist Damien Hirst's massive auction of his work yesterday at Sotheby's fetched $169 million from buyers, with 87 of the 223 lots having yet to go up on the block. This is an all-time money high for an auction of works by a single artist, a record formerly held by Pablo Picasso. At left is Hirst's "The Golden Calf," an embalmed bull with gold-plated horns and hooves, which sold for $18.5 million. You don't get it.
Italian grifter Raffaello Follieri is reportedly close to reaching a plea deal in his federal criminal case. According to the Wall Street Journal, Follieri will plead guilty to fraud and money laundering, charges for which he could face four to five years in prison.
You'll recall that just two years ago, Follieri was living a life of milk and honey in WASPy yachts and luxury Manhattan apartments. He even got himself a famous girlfriend, actress Anne Hathaway, despite looking like a damn Disney-movie villain.
Quite a disconcerting "Thought of the Day" at Web site for money men Forbes.com, but oh so enlightening.
Look at that; we pointed out a bad Democrat! Now, will all you conservative commenters lay off on the complaining?
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Celebrity photographer Anne Leibovitz, who's convinced everyone from John Lennon to Miley Cyrus to get naked for her camera, is allegedly as greedy as she is increasingly trite. To wit:
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MID-EAST BILLIONAIRES GIVE US BACK SOME OF OUR MONEY "Flush with cash, Abu Dhabi is spreading its wealth around the movie biz. The Abu Dhabi Media Co. is launching Imagenation, a production outfit with $1 billion to spend on developing, financing and producing feature films over the next five years in partnership with three American producers. Media reports today say the company has a mandate to produce eight features a year for the worldwide marketplace with a majority of the titles in the English language and targeted to mainstream audiences."
Ouch. Another major mistake took place in front of a global audience yesterday evening, but this one isn't as funny as accidentally calling John McCain "that depthless prick currently in the Oval Office." (Accidentally!)
The Bloomberg financial newswire updated and then unintentionally published its pre-written obituary for Apple CEO Steve Jobs. Jobs has battled pancreatic cancer for years now, but he's not dead yet. (In fact, as we speak he's probably inventing some new gadget people will rush out to buy only to have it immediately shatter in their hands.) Bloomberg soon realized its mistake, took down the obit and issued a retraction.
Investors were shitting themselves, of course; not because they were worried about Jobs, mind you, but because they were concerned by what his death meant for their glorious, glorious gobs of money. We hope Jobs realizes this, gets legitimately pissed and screws over all those bastards royally before leaving this increasingly dusty planet.
Nice-guy movie star George Clooney bought a brand new car for a woman whose vehicle he damaged in an accident in Pennabilli, Italy.
Clooney accepted the blame for the incident - and made the generous gesture of giving her a brand new car.
When the woman went to collect her vehicle from the repairers, she discovered the movie star had splashed out $28,000 on a new replica of her Lancia Ypsilon model.
And he had even left her a note of apology on the windscreen, saying: "I'm so sorry. Hope you'll forgive me. George Clooney."
Stars: They're so totally just like us!
IN INAPPROPRIATE CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT NEWS "Microsoft’s new $300 million advertising campaign has been kept tightly underwraps but word has spread that Jerry Seinfeld will be one of the key celebrity pitchmen. The Wall Street Journal reports that Seinfeld will appear with Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates in ads and receive about $10 million for the work. The new ad effort is expected to use some form of the slogan 'Windows, Not Walls,' several people familiar with the matter told the Journal. The campaign, said to debut Sept. 4, is one of the largest in the company's history."
Quit your bitching, Common American, you're not the only one in dire financial straits. Rupert Murdoch and his secret organization of hateful propagandists, Fox, have also fallen on tough times. What Happens in Vegas, the company's most successful film of the summer, only made $80 million domestically and just $215 million in the rest of the world. That's barely a quarter of a billion dollars. How is Rupe supposed to eat?!
BENEVOLENT PHILANDERING "Something good may come out of Madonna's liaison with Alex Rodriguez. The Yankee slugger is making a big donation to the icon's charity, Raising Malawi, a source tells us. 'They've asked him for a million dollars, and I hear he's agreed to give at least $500,000,' the source confided."
Kathy Hilton, the supremely pitiful woman partially responsible for Paris Hilton, says the attack ad in which John McCain likens Barack Obama to Paris is "a waste of money." Which to us means that the ad itself is like Paris Hilton.
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