The MTV Movie Awards were held last night, and I admittedly couldn't bring myself to sit through the hours-long crapfest. Just by looking at the pictures (after the jump), it's obvious I didn't miss much.

Anyone care to share exciting stories from the show (if you decided to punish yourself last night)?

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I'm not sure I've ever been as unmoved by something that had the potential to be funny as I was by Rob Schneider impersonating Lindsay Lohan on the Tonight Show last evening. Not large or ugly enough to play up the sight gag of a man dressing as Lohan (as Chris Farley could have done), Schneider trotted out some really inventive "Irish people are drunks" material before killing with an "I was so wasted" one-liner. (Turns out "Lindsay" was so wasted she was "in [her] car but couldn't find [her] car." HA! But you're in the car, boozer!) He eventually brought down the house with a timely Lisa Nowak diaper joke.

It's a wonder the Deuce Bigalow series isn't more highly regarded, isn't it?

[Source]

• Lindsay Lohan's not posing, she just loves to box with side boob faced towards the paparazzi. [WWTDD]

• After five days of breath-holding, Rob Schnieder finally comes out with a statement on the Melgate. [BWE]

• I'm not sure I would let Jim Carey near my precious hair with scissors. [CityRag]

• Never let it be said that Ryan Adams doesn't defend his ladyfolk, and write hundreds of songs about them. Hourly. [Jossip]

• No matter how many flowers her dress may have on it, Hilary Swank will never be dainty. [Teddy and Moo]

• Scarlett Johansson beats the heat with ice cream, dressing for a bygone era. [JustJared]

• Jessica Simpson figured out that she needed to leave Nick through the words of Patty Griffith, and the penis of Johnny Knoxville. [HotMommaDrama]