Britney graces her millionth cover of Rolling Stone next month as an obligatory stop on the Spears Comeback Train, but instead of reassuring the masses, the interview has caused us to grow even more concerned.
To kick things off, the interviewer admitted that she was never left alone with the star and the entire process was "rigorously micromanaged." Then Britney admits that she feels "like an old person" thanks to her 9:30 p.m. bedtime and lack of a social life. But the real shocking-but-not-really part came when she discussed her children:
[Sean Preston and Jayden James] are starting to learn words like 'stupid,' and Preston says the f-word now sometimes. He doesn't get it from us. He must get it from his daddy. I say it, but not around my kids.
Yep, those kids are officially up a creek without a paddle.
• Lipstick Jungle, the sad attempt at recreating Sex and the City, has been canceled. [ICYDK]
• Matthew McConaughey's son doesn't look as drugged-out as we imagined. [PS]
• Tara Reid debuts her new swimsuit line. You know it's classy and high-end, just like the designer. [HT]
• Rolling Stone's list of the 100 Greatest Singers of All-Time — and no, Kim from The Real Housewives of Atlanta didn't make the cut with her "tyrone between me and you" masterpiece. Life isn't fair. [DListed]
• Everything you didn't want to know about last night's Country Music Awards. [Yeeeah]
• Hugh Jackman admits to peeing his pants on stage. Is it strange that we still find him attractive? [INO]
Britney Spears just wrapped a top-secret Rolling Stone cover shoot while also promising an in-depth interview in the mag's upcoming issue. The Spears Comeback Train is obviously in full force, following through with the redemption arc by granting personal access to the same magazine that had plenty to say about the BS "tragedy" back in February — and the same publication that ran the "scandalous" (but not so bad in hindsight) cover in 1999. Very clever, Larry Rudolph. Keep up the good work.
We knew it was going to happen, but not so soon: The first reviews of The Dark Knight are out, and Heath Ledger's Oscar is already being polished. Rolling Stone's critic, Peter Travers, has already jumped in the driver's seat of Heath's love bus:
I can only speak superlatives of Ledger, who is mad-crazy-blazing brilliant as the Joker. It's typical of Ledger's total commitment to films as diverse as Brokeback Mountain and I'm Not There that he does nothing out of vanity or the need to be liked.
Ledger's Joker has no gray areas — he's all rampaging id. He creates a Joker for the ages. No plastic mask for Ledger. His face is caked with moldy makeup that highlights the red scar of a grin, the grungy hair and the yellowing teeth of a hound fresh out of hell.
If there's a movement to get him the first posthumous Oscar since Peter Finch won for 1976's Network, sign me up.
And while we don't doubt that Heath's performance is phenomenal, we're unsure whether the Oscar buzz would be surrounding his work if he were still alive to see it. But maybe that's just the Debbie Downer in us.
DID THEY SMELL LIKE CHEETOS? Remember that Rolling Stone tidbit about Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake that was too vulgar for Gatecrasher? Well, here's what all the fuss was about: "They were always running in between each other's buses, and one night Justin came back to the bus and said to me, 'Dude, smell my fingers.'"
DO WE HAVE TO GUESS? "What Justin Timberlake/Britney Spears story is too vulgar even to make it as a Gatecrasher blind item? Read the Rolling Stone cover story on Friday to find out! (Don't eat beforehand.)"
More than four years after her last appearance there, Britney Spears will soon be splayed on the cover of disappointing shitrag Rolling Stone once again. Apparently the magazine's editorial board has completely forgotten that the cover of Rolling Stone used to be a showcase for the talented, and they are now comfortable with making it a display cage for the insane.
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I thought Rolling Stone's EKG went monotone when they put Fergie on the cover, but I was way wrong! They're alive, well and wowing readers with the amazingly informative, hard-hitting stories that first put them on the map.
Amy Winehouse is on the cover of the new issue of Rolling Stone, on stands today, but she might not be happy with the writeup she and new hubby Blake Fielder-Civil receive. "Winehouse and Blake are a pair of self-destructive souls equally capable of being the best or the worst thing that's ever happened to each other," writes contributing editor Jenny Eliscu. "They … share matching scars, though the ones on his left forearm look older - and more rigorously inflicted – than hers. They are partners in crime who disappear to the bathroom with such regularity that one can't help but speculate about possible drug use."
Nice catch on the "possible drug use;" though were I writing the article, for an indication that Amy's doing drugs, I'd probably have looked to that one hit song in which all she does is say over and over again that you can't make her go to rehab. But I guess heading to the bathroom is a red flag, too.
Hunter S Thompson, wherever you may be, try not to weep.
Here's a fresh interview Lily Allen recently recorded for Rolling Stone. The notoriously unabashed Allen reveals that she was once expelled from high school for blowing a guy on campus and also says, "Being a woman gets me down." One question: Isn't she being redundant? Zing!
• Oh, thanks Rolling Stone. What instruments do these two play? [Egotastic]
• Celebrities, they're just like us! Except if there was photographic evidence of you breaking the law all over the internet, somebody would probably do something about it. [CityRag]
• Reese and Jake Watch. [Glitterati]
• Britney's mom isn't happy about her interest in Howie Day. I'm not happy with anyone's interest in Howie Day. [MTVUK]
• Justin Timberlake uncomfortable with showing ass, only comfortable with singing about ass. [ASL]
• This wins most disturbing of the day! Congrats Freddy Krueger man! [TMZ]
• This black person doesn't care about Kanye West. Seriously. Eff that guy. [Jossip]
Xtina's proud to be an American, where at least she knows she's free. Apparently Rolling Stone's wardrobe department ran out of time or money and had to buy Christina Aguilera's duds from a cheap halloween costume store for this photoshoot. Navy girl was the only outfit left in the middle of the summer. I wonder if the Orphan Annie Inflatable Sex Doll pose was Christina's idea.
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