Hey trembling Americans who have allowed themselves to be pummeled into fearful submission by our government's vague terror alerts and arbitrary mentions of 9/11 (this means you, GIULIANI), have we got some news for you. Recently, Al-Qaeda terrorists endorsed their pick for president via some terrorist Web site (they have those?), and you might be surprised by their choice.
CONTINUED »
Celebrities make too much money. Subjective, sure, but probably true. Truer still is that very often those fortunes are wasted in inglorious, ill-planned blazes.
But sometimes the millions serve a higher purpose; sixth homes declined in favor of the public that makes a celebrity a celebrity. Yet where are those figures in Star and the National Enquirer?
Screw Birkin bags, time for money that counts: political donations.
CONTINUED »
Celebrities make too much money. Subjective, sure, but probably true. Truer still is that very often those fortunes are wasted in inglorious, ill-planned blazes.
But sometimes the millions serve a higher purpose; sixth homes declined in favor of the public that makes a celebrity a celebrity. Yet where are those figures in Star and the National Enquirer?
Screw Birkin bags, time for money that counts: political donations.
CONTINUED »
NEWSFLASH: Very poor people do crazy things in order to enjoy the luxuries people with money take for granted!
The Texas mother who helped her daughter win a “Hannah Montana” essay contest by making up a story about the girl’s father being a soldier killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq says she made a terrible mistake and hopes she can be forgiven.
“I meant no disrespect. I just made a bad decision which I sincerely regret,” Priscilla Ceballos told TODAY co-host Matt Lauer in a prepared statement she read from Friday. “I apologize to my daughter for getting her mixed up in his mess. I wanted to help my daughter realize her dream of seeing Hannah Montana.
Ceballos has become such a lightning rod for many Americans' hatred of their own lives and this goddamn war that she's been forced to move from her home.
Hey, psychos, leave this sad bastard alone! Sorry she capitalized on killing to win some fucking Disney tickets, but for months now Giuliani's been pimping out the memory of 9/11, and nobody's running him out of town. At some point in time, every good parent in the world says, "I will do anything to make my children happy." Time to wake up and realize that "anything" for the nation's underclass sometimes means "underhanded shit."
Recently disclosed government documents reveal that celebrity ex-mayor of New York Rudolph 9iu1ian1 billed "obscure city agencies" for tens of thousands of dollars in security expenses, all while wooing his then mistress (now wife) Judith Nathan in a months-long extramarital affair taking place all over the swanky, nauseous Hamptons.
The documents…show that the mayoral costs had nothing to do with the functions of the little-known city offices that defrayed his tabs, including agencies responsible for regulating loft apartments, aiding the disabled and providing lawyers for indigent defendants.
• You're telling me this guy's a drunk who puts his and others' well-being at risk? No way. [Yeeeah]
• Faced with the prospect of a string of bad movies and an untimely career death, Maya Rudolph comes back to the arthritic, unfunny arms of Saturday Night Live. [BWE]
• With support like this, huh, Rudy? [Jossip]
• They're giving Dane Cook another movie to pilot into a damn oil field. [DListed]
• Now it's news if one doesn't expose one's vagina. [HT]
• Serves her right: She trusted a guy named Cash. [ICYDK]
• Pickles and bread? Isn't that the Gwen Stefani diet? [INO]
• Stupid human tricks! These are always funny when you're drunk and tired! [CityRag]
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